Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you normally wash your hair daily and it has been weeks since you’ve done so, you need to see a therapist. Something else is going on if you are showering and not washing your hair UNLESS you usually don’t wash it frequently OR your have thick, dry hair and purposefully didn’t wash it because it looks the same and takes less time, that’s different.

Esp if you didn’t even realize it til just now.

Agree 100%. Please seek out a therapist. It sounds like you are not functioning well and that is separate from being burnt out.

OP I'm struggling with something similar. I love my kids, my marriage is fine, my job is fine, but I'm just going through the day to get through it to start all over again. What I am working on is planning at least one thing every week just for me. I'm starting with an exercise class. Once I can stick with that, I hope to add one more thing, hopefully an outing of a couple of hours I can do what I want (shopping, coffee, read a book). I need more things to look forward to that are just for me, and are not just the one-off haircut/mental health day thing. I need something ongoing.

But I also know I've suffered from depression in the past and this is part of it. I'm not getting enough sleep and I'm not exercising, so I know that's both adding to feeling exhausted but also making me more emotional. So I need to get off my phone solitaire at night and just go to bed and get some exercise for mental health, as well.

Anonymous wrote:If you normally wash your hair daily and it has been weeks since you’ve done so, you need to see a therapist. Something else is going on if you are showering and not washing your hair UNLESS you usually don’t wash it frequently OR your have thick, dry hair and purposefully didn’t wash it because it looks the same and takes less time, that’s different.

Esp if you didn’t even realize it til just now.

If you normally wash your hair daily and it has been weeks since you’ve done so, you need to see a therapist. Something else is going on if you are showering and not washing your hair UNLESS you usually don’t wash it frequently OR your have thick, dry hair and purposefully didn’t wash it because it looks the same and takes less time, that’s different.

Have you considered a job change? If I had the work of two people and a 40 min commute, I’d have feelers out for something else.

Anonymous wrote:My oldest started K in September (also have a 3yo in preschool) and since then I've been feeling like I just can't get things together anymore. My husband and I both work FT with average 40-50 minute commutes. Lately, I'm utterly overwhelmed by the everyday drudgery of cleaning, laundry, dishes, yard work, organizing clothes, shopping, planning/cooking dinner along with the seasonal birthday parties, school events, travel, etc. I don't have a particularly high stakes job but I do have the workload of 2+ people. My mind is cloudy and I feel like I can't think straight. I also wake up early stressing about money or some stupid thing I did 5 years ago. This morning I realized I haven't actually washed my hair in weeks. I know all this is petty compared to many people's problems so I feel bad complaining. My husband does his fair share, but there seems to be TOO much to handle these days. What is going on and what should I do?

My kids are the same and, combined with work stress and a recent health diagnosis, I went through the same "cloudy" issue recently. It's passed now, and I think it was a combo of stress and anxiety and everything else. There is still a mountain of stuff in front of me but I pulled back this year in a few ways to give myself a break after a lot of work the past two years in our preschool and the community. Is there anything you can cut out? I'm no longer a room parent, etc.

Also, doing a "brain dump" into a task list really helped me focus. I just write down every thing, big or little, that I need to do and it helps me stop worrying about it and waking up in the middle of the night thinking about it, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I second the others who suggest taking a mental health day (or 2) to get some rest.

As part of those days off, make a list of everything that you feel responsible for. Then put an asterisk next to something you can outsource. And then ask your husband to help get that set up.

Just cleaning and yard work would take a huge load off.

Personally, the food prep / meal planning is exhausting to me. My husband suggested a few months ago that I write out week by week meal plans and that helped me SO much. I basically planned out 6 weeks of meals, with 5 meals / week, and a list of things I make less frequently to "sub in". I plan for 1 "easy" night a week like fast food, frozen etc.

If my husband had suggested that I plan meals out for 6 weeks, I would have happily handed him a pad of paper. lol

I am prepped for 6 weeks. It took me about 15 minutes to choose the three meals that Blue Apron is going to send me. The other two days in the weeks are kids choice so Mac and Cheese, Brats, Hamburgers, fish sticks, whatever and left overs for Mom. Or even CHick Fil A. Weekends my Husband cooks or we grill something.

You missed her point. Why couldn't your husband plan the meals?

Her husband could plan the meals. My husband doesn't plan dinner because he handles breakfast, making lunches and drop off. I have pick up, snack, and dinner. It is a division of labor. We both handle ignoring folding clothes and putting stuff away until the cleaning people come. It works for us.

I wrote the comment and I wasn't trying to harp on you. I am simply amused that you gave credit to your husband for an idea that only redistributes your labor. It's like when my MIL watches me vacuum and points out the spots I've missed. Such "helpful" suggestions honestly make me laugh.

But I'm glad your Blue Apron orders and frozen meal planning is no longer exhausting.

If someone is burn out and overwhelmed by many things you look for a way to decrease the time you have to do certain things. Meal planning may be easy for some people but for others it is a grind and for others it is stressful. I happen to suck at meal planning. I end up in ruts and I end up falling back on things that are less healthy because I don't plan in advance. My solution, to provide more diverse meals that are more interesting then what I come up with, is to use Blue Apron. It cuts down on my need to shop and meal plan and we eat better as a family.

The idea is to offer solutions that help the OP get things back in control for herself and get some time back. Blue Apron, Home Chef, Hello Fresh, Sun Basket all take some of the pressure off someone.

My Husband and I are not redistributing labor, we have established a pattern that works well for us and leaves us both with similar responsibilities. It sounds like the OP needs to figure out her system.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I second the others who suggest taking a mental health day (or 2) to get some rest.

As part of those days off, make a list of everything that you feel responsible for. Then put an asterisk next to something you can outsource. And then ask your husband to help get that set up.

Just cleaning and yard work would take a huge load off.

Personally, the food prep / meal planning is exhausting to me. My husband suggested a few months ago that I write out week by week meal plans and that helped me SO much. I basically planned out 6 weeks of meals, with 5 meals / week, and a list of things I make less frequently to "sub in". I plan for 1 "easy" night a week like fast food, frozen etc.

If my husband had suggested that I plan meals out for 6 weeks, I would have happily handed him a pad of paper. lol

I am prepped for 6 weeks. It took me about 15 minutes to choose the three meals that Blue Apron is going to send me. The other two days in the weeks are kids choice so Mac and Cheese, Brats, Hamburgers, fish sticks, whatever and left overs for Mom. Or even CHick Fil A. Weekends my Husband cooks or we grill something.

You missed her point. Why couldn't your husband plan the meals?

Her husband could plan the meals. My husband doesn't plan dinner because he handles breakfast, making lunches and drop off. I have pick up, snack, and dinner. It is a division of labor. We both handle ignoring folding clothes and putting stuff away until the cleaning people come. It works for us.

I wrote the comment and I wasn't trying to harp on you. I am simply amused that you gave credit to your husband for an idea that only redistributes your labor. It's like when my MIL watches me vacuum and points out the spots I've missed. Such "helpful" suggestions honestly make me laugh.

But I'm glad your Blue Apron orders and frozen meal planning is no longer exhausting.

Zoloft. Stat!

Anonymous wrote:Twice a year I take a mental health day. I use half of the day for fun and half of the day to tackle things around the house. It really helps

Same here, though I do it more often. OP, you sound a lot like I felt a few years ago, and I realized I wasn't taking time for myself often enough or consistently enough for myself. It is such a slog with small kids and FT work. You've got to take whatever time you can to regroup and recharge, and make it mandatory for yourself. And also, be kind and forgiving to yourself about what you can and can't do in a day. Hang in there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I second the others who suggest taking a mental health day (or 2) to get some rest.

As part of those days off, make a list of everything that you feel responsible for. Then put an asterisk next to something you can outsource. And then ask your husband to help get that set up.

Just cleaning and yard work would take a huge load off.

Personally, the food prep / meal planning is exhausting to me. My husband suggested a few months ago that I write out week by week meal plans and that helped me SO much. I basically planned out 6 weeks of meals, with 5 meals / week, and a list of things I make less frequently to "sub in". I plan for 1 "easy" night a week like fast food, frozen etc.

If my husband had suggested that I plan meals out for 6 weeks, I would have happily handed him a pad of paper. lol

I am prepped for 6 weeks. It took me about 15 minutes to choose the three meals that Blue Apron is going to send me. The other two days in the weeks are kids choice so Mac and Cheese, Brats, Hamburgers, fish sticks, whatever and left overs for Mom. Or even CHick Fil A. Weekends my Husband cooks or we grill something.

You missed her point. Why couldn't your husband plan the meals?

Her husband could plan the meals. My husband doesn't plan dinner because he handles breakfast, making lunches and drop off. I have pick up, snack, and dinner. It is a division of labor. We both handle ignoring folding clothes and putting stuff away until the cleaning people come. It works for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I second the others who suggest taking a mental health day (or 2) to get some rest.

As part of those days off, make a list of everything that you feel responsible for. Then put an asterisk next to something you can outsource. And then ask your husband to help get that set up.

Just cleaning and yard work would take a huge load off.

Personally, the food prep / meal planning is exhausting to me. My husband suggested a few months ago that I write out week by week meal plans and that helped me SO much. I basically planned out 6 weeks of meals, with 5 meals / week, and a list of things I make less frequently to "sub in". I plan for 1 "easy" night a week like fast food, frozen etc.

If my husband had suggested that I plan meals out for 6 weeks, I would have happily handed him a pad of paper. lol

I am prepped for 6 weeks. It took me about 15 minutes to choose the three meals that Blue Apron is going to send me. The other two days in the weeks are kids choice so Mac and Cheese, Brats, Hamburgers, fish sticks, whatever and left overs for Mom. Or even CHick Fil A. Weekends my Husband cooks or we grill something.

You missed her point. Why couldn't your husband plan the meals?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I second the others who suggest taking a mental health day (or 2) to get some rest.

As part of those days off, make a list of everything that you feel responsible for. Then put an asterisk next to something you can outsource. And then ask your husband to help get that set up.

Just cleaning and yard work would take a huge load off.

Personally, the food prep / meal planning is exhausting to me. My husband suggested a few months ago that I write out week by week meal plans and that helped me SO much. I basically planned out 6 weeks of meals, with 5 meals / week, and a list of things I make less frequently to "sub in". I plan for 1 "easy" night a week like fast food, frozen etc.

If my husband had suggested that I plan meals out for 6 weeks, I would have happily handed him a pad of paper. lol

I am prepped for 6 weeks. It took me about 15 minutes to choose the three meals that Blue Apron is going to send me. The other two days in the weeks are kids choice so Mac and Cheese, Brats, Hamburgers, fish sticks, whatever and left overs for Mom. Or even CHick Fil A. Weekends my Husband cooks or we grill something.

Honestly, I hired a housekeeper. Not a cleaner. A three times per week cleaner- and she cooks too! I just made room for it in the budget. Canceled some monthly classes and memberships, got rid of cable, found someone cheap on care.com. My friend lives in a McMansion. She’s an attorney and pulls in 230k yearly at least, plus she has rich family. She pays her after school nanny $15 per hour. So if she could find domestic help at that rate I figured so could I. And I did.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry OP. I second the others who suggest taking a mental health day (or 2) to get some rest.

As part of those days off, make a list of everything that you feel responsible for. Then put an asterisk next to something you can outsource. And then ask your husband to help get that set up.

Just cleaning and yard work would take a huge load off.

Personally, the food prep / meal planning is exhausting to me. My husband suggested a few months ago that I write out week by week meal plans and that helped me SO much. I basically planned out 6 weeks of meals, with 5 meals / week, and a list of things I make less frequently to "sub in". I plan for 1 "easy" night a week like fast food, frozen etc.

If my husband had suggested that I plan meals out for 6 weeks, I would have happily handed him a pad of paper. lol