Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I can run circles around my husband and his version of working out at the gym makes me embarrassed. He is a “hold on to the treadmill” type while he walks for 20 min. Then he hits the weight machines and does one set of 5 on a couple things then calls it a day. Yes he is fat. I wish he could keep up with me.

So much to unpack here.

What is there to unpack? Husband sounds like a fat blob and wife is fit. This is common in many UMC circles.

Why?

We are opposite. Dh is very fit. Im fat.

SAHMs with time to put into their physique. And in general, women put more effort into their appearance than men do. Men put more effort into their career and have less time to work out. The exception to this I've noticed is the military, which happens to have a lot of fit men married to over weight women.

I would love for my husband and I to workout together. I workout all the time and he does nothing. He used to be quite overweight (220 lbs and he is about 5'9") but over the past two years he has lost about 40 pounds. He lost the weight by doing the EMP180 diet. It really did work for him. It was the first time in his life that he ever went on a diet, so he learned a lot of helpful things that have helped him keep the weight off. I wish we could exercise together because its something that I love doing that I wish we could share. I have a whole gym set up in our basement and I bought him cycling shoes so he can use our Peloton bike, but he has never used it a single time. Oh well, at least he found a way to lose the bulk of the weight that worked for him!

Anonymous wrote:Is it fun? Does it help keep you motivated? Connected? If so, what do you do together? I’m thinking about trying some short hiit sequences w my spouse.

Unfortunately, not as much as I like! Occasionally, we walk together. I wish we did more. But, if I am going to exercise I have to do it by myself.

My husband and I, pre-marriage did P90x together. It was so fun to do it together. Now, 15 years and 3 kids later, we started doing it again. I am a really consistent exerciser; he needs a little push. This is fun time together that we can do at home while the kids are playing by themselves.

I like to do active things with my spouse. We love to hike, cycle and take walks. But I dont view these as working out and I don’t like to work out with my spouse. I go regularly (at least 3x a week - CrossFit and yoga) and my spouse is sporadic. And I am unbelievably competitive when it comes to my workout which is not a dynamic I want in my marriage.

But you make a good point about needing to have things you like to do together besides going out for dinner. We constantly work on this because we are so different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I can run circles around my husband and his version of working out at the gym makes me embarrassed. He is a “hold on to the treadmill” type while he walks for 20 min. Then he hits the weight machines and does one set of 5 on a couple things then calls it a day. Yes he is fat. I wish he could keep up with me.

So much to unpack here.

What is there to unpack? Husband sounds like a fat blob and wife is fit. This is common in many UMC circles.

Why?

We are opposite. Dh is very fit. Im fat.

SAHMs with time to put into their physique. And in general, women put more effort into their appearance than men do. Men put more effort into their career and have less time to work out. The exception to this I've noticed is the military, which happens to have a lot of fit men married to over weight women.

Exactly. And the women with the time and money to stay skinny are very competitive with each other. No one wants to be seen gaining weight. Men don’t really care as much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I can run circles around my husband and his version of working out at the gym makes me embarrassed. He is a “hold on to the treadmill” type while he walks for 20 min. Then he hits the weight machines and does one set of 5 on a couple things then calls it a day. Yes he is fat. I wish he could keep up with me.

So much to unpack here.

What is there to unpack? Husband sounds like a fat blob and wife is fit. This is common in many UMC circles.

Why?

We are opposite. Dh is very fit. Im fat.

SAHMs with time to put into their physique. And in general, women put more effort into their appearance than men do. Men put more effort into their career and have less time to work out. The exception to this I've noticed is the military, which happens to have a lot of fit men married to over weight women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No I can run circles around my husband and his version of working out at the gym makes me embarrassed. He is a “hold on to the treadmill” type while he walks for 20 min. Then he hits the weight machines and does one set of 5 on a couple things then calls it a day. Yes he is fat. I wish he could keep up with me.

So much to unpack here.

What is there to unpack? Husband sounds like a fat blob and wife is fit. This is common in many UMC circles.

Why?

We are opposite. Dh is very fit. Im fat.

We got for evening walks

We walk the dog together and I am a big runner, and he’ll occasionally do a 5K or a one miler if it’s a cause he likes or there’s a cool event attached to it. But he’s more of a lifter. I’m just happy he’s fit!

Sometimes but not usually. We have young kids and usually alternate going to the gym so one is home with them. Sometimes we'll get a Saturday morning babysitter and gontogether but we exercise differently.

We hike and sometimes ride bikes, play tennis, or go rock climbing together. Sometimes the gym. Rarely running because I'm faster than my wife (we've done a few 5ks but either I go ahead or I commit to staying at her pace and encouraging her), but being at the gym on adjacent treadmills works. A few years ago we got a package of personal training sessions where the trainer worked with both of us together. That was pretty fun. When we visit my inlaws, they belong to a Y with a really nice gym so we'll sometimes go there and alternate picking exercises for us to do together.