I was at a grocery store with my dad once and the cashier noticed my wedding rings, which are kind of unique, and told my dad he “did good” and congrats and I basically wanted to die. He laughed it off though.

Take a look at the post of the woman wondering if she’s crazy to have another at 42. Women here are having kids when other people’s children are in college. It’s an easy mistake to make in this area tbh.

Anonymous wrote:You’d be surprised the effect that gray hair alone has. A mom who is younger than I am is mistaken for the grandmother because she is allergic to hair dye. And today on the metro i White haired woman came on and a middle aged woman with dark hair immediately gave up her seat. It when I looked at their faces I wondered if the white haired woman was actually younger.

Yes, this. People look at the hair and make assumptions about age, because (although it's changing), almost everyone dyes their hair until they hit about 70 years old. So people tend to assume that you are older when your hair is gray. But often if you look past the gray hair, their face looks more vibrant/healthy/younger because the dye color isn't clashing with their face. Often hair dye clashes with the face, and then some people build their wardrobe around their dyed hair, and everything looks good--except their face.

I let my hair go gray at around 48 years old. All of a sudden people thought I was grandma to my kids. But my face actually looks younger with the gray, and I get a compliment on my skin about once every two weeks (that's a LOT!)

OP, I'm sure this mom is used to it. It is a certain personality that decides to keep their hair gray, and even if it is due to allergy, the process of going gray/keeping one's hair gray affects one's personality and takes them out of the "I must look younger" mindset. I'm fairly confident that she won't care that you thought she was her kids' grandma. By definition, she is not trying to look young; it's not on her high priority list.

Here’s how I flip the scenario with people I don’t know:

If a person is alone, I always assume mommy/daddy and slip a greeting/affirmation in using those terms, until I am corrected. Even if the person looks old/young. If I see two men or women with a kid, I don’t assume roles and just say “Your little one”.

Older people feel complimented and younger people are quick to correct (“oh no this is my niece/sister/I’m the nanny/ etc“).

I then may counter with “Well the little one is so (well behaved/dressed nicely/great at climbing/has a powerful smile)”.

Works like a charm.

The older person may have adopted, elected to be a caregiver for a child without parents, or other scenario as well.

Kudos to you for caring though! Hugs!

There was a great chinese restaurant that was cheap and near work that I used to go to when I was 22 or 23. I went like three times a week. Then one day the woman behind the counter asked when I was due. I never wore that outfit again and never went back to that restaurant again.

One time in my late 30's I saw a woman I know, with an older man. The man wandered away, almost lost his balance, then got lost and couldn't find my friend when she was 10 feet behind her. So I said to her, "How long is your dad visiting?" THAT'S MY HUSBAND. #awkward

People in mom's side of family start graying in their early 20s. My mid-30s cousin started dyeing her hair in college.

Hah. Everyone here looks old because they are old. I assume everyone is a parent unless they tell me differently.

Um, yeah. You kind of messed up. I think you recognize that. the question is, what are you going to start doing differently?

I once asked a guy if the woman he was with was his mother. She was his wife. Yes, she heard me.

Anonymous wrote:OP I have done it also. Some mothers are just really old in DC! One of my son's friends had her twins at 48! So our kids are the same age but I am 48 and she is 65. Her husband just had his 70th birthday party.

Yep, that's me, I'm 59 and my husband just turned 70. Our youngest is 17 and our oldest is 36. I've been called grandma by my estate attorney Op, don't sweat it! I do not have gray hair and am in shape, with few facial winkles, but I still look old enough to be a 17 year old's grandmother, just a fact an I know it, am not offended in the slightest when this happens. My daughter on the other hand

I assumed this one woman was the grandmother until she started nursing the baby! She is a really nice woman but she has to be in her 40’s and just looks older than she is. I am so glad I never said anything!

Yeah, be careful around here. Lots of lawyers don’t have kids until after 35. My mom used to watch my kids when they were little from time to time and was often mistaken for their mother or no one ever asked— my mom looks every bit her age. At that time, she was mid fifties.

I once taught a second grader whose dad was older than mine. You never know. I always assume parent if I’m uncertain.

Anonymous wrote:I referred to a super old dad as grandpa at girl scouts once. But it was one of those situations where mom was like 30 and dad was well over 60.

This mom looked well over 60. And I know plenty of people with gray hair.

I referred to a super old dad as grandpa at girl scouts once. But it was one of those situations where mom was like 30 and dad was well over 60.