Anonymous
10/27/2019 15:13
Subject: Re:Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
I have a friend who ghosted me but i don’t take it personally.
Our kids went to preschool together but not the same elementary. We always tried to put kids in the same sports teams and camps. We would see one another at local pool and often eat together at the pool or go out after for meals or ice cream.
Then she suddenly stopped meeting up. I didn’t take it so personally as she and I both have 3 kids and busy. We were mom friends. I know she has other friends who are childless or old friends.
I found out recently she separated from her husband. I think the kids have been suffering. I don’t know if I should reach out, just try to schedule a play date or what. I kind of wrote them off and not sure if I should offer a hand. Her child who is friends with my child is such a sweet kid. I may reach out to twkr kid out on fun outing.
Our kids went to preschool together but not the same elementary. We always tried to put kids in the same sports teams and camps. We would see one another at local pool and often eat together at the pool or go out after for meals or ice cream.
Then she suddenly stopped meeting up. I didn’t take it so personally as she and I both have 3 kids and busy. We were mom friends. I know she has other friends who are childless or old friends.
I found out recently she separated from her husband. I think the kids have been suffering. I don’t know if I should reach out, just try to schedule a play date or what. I kind of wrote them off and not sure if I should offer a hand. Her child who is friends with my child is such a sweet kid. I may reach out to twkr kid out on fun outing.
Anonymous
10/27/2019 14:07
Subject: Re:Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
OP again,
wow. not sure if i should be happy this is so common so it is not just me or sad because it seems this is the nature of friendships these days?
I get a fading friendship where you grow apart due to different life stages or needs/wants. But to have someone be your 'friend' for several years, same age kids, same sports, same neighborhood to just stop talking to you one day? No slow fade, no nothing. Literally it was us at a practice in August together laughing and chatting. Then about 3 weeks later I texted to see if she wanted to grab a coffee (something we would do about 1x per month before for the past 3 years) and nothing. Nada.
Nothing was out of the ordinary the last time we hung out. Nothing new was shared or said, our families are the same religion, our kids are the same, no weird or rude behavior no nothing.
Guess i will move on, but damn does it sting becuase we really do have a lot in common
wow. not sure if i should be happy this is so common so it is not just me or sad because it seems this is the nature of friendships these days?
I get a fading friendship where you grow apart due to different life stages or needs/wants. But to have someone be your 'friend' for several years, same age kids, same sports, same neighborhood to just stop talking to you one day? No slow fade, no nothing. Literally it was us at a practice in August together laughing and chatting. Then about 3 weeks later I texted to see if she wanted to grab a coffee (something we would do about 1x per month before for the past 3 years) and nothing. Nada.
Nothing was out of the ordinary the last time we hung out. Nothing new was shared or said, our families are the same religion, our kids are the same, no weird or rude behavior no nothing.
Guess i will move on, but damn does it sting becuase we really do have a lot in common
Anonymous
10/27/2019 13:52
Subject: Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
Anonymous wrote:Generally when this happens, the person ghosting was hurt by something the other person did and is too nice, or too non-confrontational, to talk to the person they’re ghosting. Or they’ve become aware of something about the other person’s character that indicates that they are not really a true friend.
Ha no. People who ghost often have deep rooted issues themselves - 1 of them being the inability to communicate like an adult. They also see any slight as an act of betrayal and more often than not it’s a pattern. I was once ghosted by a “friend” for not deleting another friend from social media that she’d also cut off. I’m sure from her viewpoint though I’d revealed my character and wasn’t a true friend.
Anonymous
10/27/2019 09:14
Subject: Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
Hug yourself and find that the new time can be used to steward friendships of people who want to be around you
Anonymous
10/27/2019 08:32
Subject: Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
Find friends with thicker skin. They usually have better senses of humor and are more fun, IMO.
Anonymous
10/27/2019 03:46
Subject: Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Generally when this happens, the person ghosting was hurt by something the other person did and is too nice, or too non-confrontational, to talk to the person they’re ghosting. Or they’ve become aware of something about the other person’s character that indicates that they are not really a true friend.
Sounds like you are projecting.
Anonymous
10/27/2019 03:45
Subject: Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
Anonymous wrote:I’m in a similar situation and it’s so hard.
Move on, not worth processing it. It is waste of your mental powers. There are all kinds of people who have all kinds of motives
and not of them are noble. It is most likely they used you and moved on to the next better option. Or they simply realized
you are too smart to be used for their purposes so you turned to be useless. It is the best way to put it to yourself.
Either way your gain is that without any action on your side a person who was there to take advantage of you backed out
on their own and saved you all the trouble. In 5 years it will be all forgotten so you may as well do it now. Stay strong,
don't dwell on it.
Anonymous
10/27/2019 01:43
Subject: Re:Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
I had a friend do this as well. We are neighbors. Kids are the same ages. She kind of just stopped talking to me one day, and stopped sending the kids over to play. It took me a few months to realize that she wasn’t just busy, she was avoiding me.
I think in this case, she is one of those people who likes to gossip and kind of hate on some of the moms at the school who kind of run things. And I think at some social function, I must have said hi to one of those moms before I said hi to her. Or I had one of their kids over for a play date and she saw us talking outside while the kids were playing or something. I don’t know. Maybe it’s something else.
It does make me sad though. I miss being friends, and I wish I could make it up to her.
I think in this case, she is one of those people who likes to gossip and kind of hate on some of the moms at the school who kind of run things. And I think at some social function, I must have said hi to one of those moms before I said hi to her. Or I had one of their kids over for a play date and she saw us talking outside while the kids were playing or something. I don’t know. Maybe it’s something else.
It does make me sad though. I miss being friends, and I wish I could make it up to her.
Anonymous
10/27/2019 01:29
Subject: Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
Anonymous wrote:Generally when this happens, the person ghosting was hurt by something the other person did and is too nice, or too non-confrontational, to talk to the person they’re ghosting. Or they’ve become aware of something about the other person’s character that indicates that they are not really a true friend.
Like what?
I really can’t imagine something that would cause me to drop a close friend of several years. Those aren’t easy to find.
Anonymous
10/27/2019 01:17
Subject: Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Generally when this happens, the person ghosting was hurt by something the other person did and is too nice, or too non-confrontational, to talk to the person they’re ghosting. Or they’ve become aware of something about the other person’s character that indicates that they are not really a true friend.
Sometimes...Or the ghoster is just a user and has no use for the ghosted friend anymore. In those cases, good riddance.
That could e, too, but when I’ve seen this and know the people on both sides, it is usually that the person being ghosted has done something and the “ghoster” just doesn’t want to deal with the other person anymore. The person has shown who they are and the other person realizes that talking to the person won’t change anything, so they decide it’s better to avoid further hurt and they ghost the person.
Let’s be real here, that’s your excuse for ghosting someone. And people do it for all sorts of reasons - jealousy, depression, judging someone’s lifestyle, getting rid of needy people, whatever. OP you will never know the reason and don’t waste your time trying to figure out what happened.
Anonymous
10/27/2019 00:05
Subject: Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Generally when this happens, the person ghosting was hurt by something the other person did and is too nice, or too non-confrontational, to talk to the person they’re ghosting. Or they’ve become aware of something about the other person’s character that indicates that they are not really a true friend.
Sometimes...Or the ghoster is just a user and has no use for the ghosted friend anymore. In those cases, good riddance.
That could e, too, but when I’ve seen this and know the people on both sides, it is usually that the person being ghosted has done something and the “ghoster” just doesn’t want to deal with the other person anymore. The person has shown who they are and the other person realizes that talking to the person won’t change anything, so they decide it’s better to avoid further hurt and they ghost the person.
Anonymous
10/26/2019 23:55
Subject: Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
Anonymous wrote:Generally when this happens, the person ghosting was hurt by something the other person did and is too nice, or too non-confrontational, to talk to the person they’re ghosting. Or they’ve become aware of something about the other person’s character that indicates that they are not really a true friend.
Sometimes...Or the ghoster is just a user and has no use for the ghosted friend anymore. In those cases, good riddance.
Anonymous
10/26/2019 23:41
Subject: Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
I ghosted some friends because I was horribly depressed and didn't want to connect with real friends. Lately, it has been easier to be with those who don't want to get to know me. I wish I had the guts to tell my friends, but I'm ashamed of my depression.
Anonymous
10/26/2019 23:36
Subject: Re:Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
I ghosted someone because her husband kept criticizing my religious beliefs
Anonymous
10/26/2019 23:17
Subject: Been ghosted by a 'friend' and it kind of hurts
OP, some people aren't cut out for one-on-one friendships. Sounds like her. She probably found a group to hang out with. That's probably more comfortable for her than having an actual individual friendship.