I SAH, our kids go to a private school with a nurse. My DD has been in the nurse's office several times feeling sick but without a fever or anything else that necessitates she come home.

The nurse calls, tells me the situation, and I can sense that she's trying to investigate whether I can come get her or whether I absolutely cannot. I have said on several occasions, "I'm happy to come get her, I don't want her to have to stay in the nurse's office or go to class if she's not feeling well and not able to concentrate." I have also said once or twice that unless she's sicker, I can't come get her (I had an appointment or something).

I do not think it's a judgement call about whether I SAH as much as it is letting ME decide as the parent whether I can disrupt my day to get my child when it's not 100% necessary. I appreciate it, and I assume other parents, working or not, also appreciate it, since plenty of working parents might be in a position to leave work / come home early if their child isn't feeling well. Or, the parent might know (and the nurse doesn't) that although the kid doesn't have a fever, their OTHER child recently came down with something, and it's best to get this one home before it gets bad. Or whatever. It's a parent's decision.

Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher and I have no clue what the parents in my class do for work.

This. Although I’m not a teacher, my kids’ teachers have no clue what I do during the day.

From my own experience, my kids had more frequent and more prolonged bouts with sickness/illness when I was a WOHM than SAHM. Which meant more calls to pick them up when I was a WOHM and hardly any when I started to SAH.

I think there were a number of reasons for this, but when I was a WOHM -
1) I was less prone to keep them at home at the earliest symptoms of illness, so their illness grew worse at school
2) I was more likely to send them to school earlier when they recovered from an illness, so they relapsed easily
3) I relied on daycare before and after school and they were exposed to more germs
4) My kids got less sleep because they had to be up and ready to go to daycare or camp, when there was a school closing but I was working.
5) My kids did not tell me that they were feeling slightly unwell because they did not want me to miss work,
6) My kids school day was extended because they had to be in daycare. Which meant that if they were feeling a little run-down they did not have the luxury to come home after classes and go to sleep.

I don't think the school cared if I was a WOHM or SAHM. Once I became a SAHM, I did not send my kids to school if they had any symptoms, I was able to get medical appointments easily so they got the medical care immidiately, I was able to be more vigilant about small things like flu-shots, oral hygiene, making sure they were taking multi-vitamins etc. I was also able to allow them mental health days as required.

One of the upsides of being a SAHM for me was more flexibility for tackling these kinds of issues.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher. I don't "send" anyone home. The office and the nurse decides that.

On a separate note, my school tends to have two types of parents. The one type cannot afford to take off work to care for their children even when they are horribly sick. So, they load them up with tylenol and send them to school when they have a 103 fever. The second type keeps their kid home for every little thing, missing 40+ days of school a year.

A high FARMs school? My high FARMS school is also like this.

Mine too. I only know the work status of a few parents at my school

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher. I don't "send" anyone home. The office and the nurse decides that.

On a separate note, my school tends to have two types of parents. The one type cannot afford to take off work to care for their children even when they are horribly sick. So, they load them up with tylenol and send them to school when they have a 103 fever. The second type keeps their kid home for every little thing, missing 40+ days of school a year.

A high FARMs school? My high FARMS school is also like this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher. I don't "send" anyone home. The office and the nurse decides that.

On a separate note, my school tends to have two types of parents. The one type cannot afford to take off work to care for their children even when they are horribly sick. So, they load them up with tylenol and send them to school when they have a 103 fever. The second type keeps their kid home for every little thing, missing 40+ days of school a year.

+1. Our school has the same situation.

All schools do.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a teacher. I don't "send" anyone home. The office and the nurse decides that.

On a separate note, my school tends to have two types of parents. The one type cannot afford to take off work to care for their children even when they are horribly sick. So, they load them up with tylenol and send them to school when they have a 103 fever. The second type keeps their kid home for every little thing, missing 40+ days of school a year.

+1. Our school has the same situation.

I don’t make the decision to send students home when they are sick. The nurse does and she doesn’t know or care who is a SAHM.

I work and have been called many many times to pick up an older elementary kid who was just faking sick. The nurse knew well that I worked because she would mention how long it takes me to commute back to school (45 minutes).

I'm a teacher. I don't "send" anyone home. The office and the nurse decides that.

On a separate note, my school tends to have two types of parents. The one type cannot afford to take off work to care for their children even when they are horribly sick. So, they load them up with tylenol and send them to school when they have a 103 fever. The second type keeps their kid home for every little thing, missing 40+ days of school a year.

No. But my kids really liked school and only went to the clinic a handful of times between the two of them. When the school called me to pick them up it’s because they were really sick- they were ok when I dropped them off but a fever or stomach bug had developed at school and they really did have to leave. I was never called for discipline problems or any adjustment issues, either.

I work in an elementary school. If the kid is a "frequent flyer" to the clinic then the clinic person (not a nurse) may know if their parents are home or not. What is more likely the determining factor is do the parents answer the call in a timely manner, meaning answer or call back quickly when a message is left. If that happens then the child might be more likely to get sent home, or the parents might be more likely to say I'll come get them now.

No decision on sending home or not is based on knowledge of the parents work situation that I know of. More likely based on availability of parents and parents reaction to the call.

Saddest thing in this situation is when parents cannot be reached, emergency contact cannot be reached, parents don't return calls, etc. and the kid is stuck either in the clinic or back in class despite being sick.

I recall a few years back social worker going to the home, nobody answered the door even though we knew the mother was home caring for younger children. Father was a doctor and after he was contacted at work he somehow got the mother to answer the door. By the time all this happened the sick kid had been very sick at school for hours and it was almost the end of the day.

I don't think my kids teachers have any earthly idea if I work or not.

Anonymous wrote:The nurse decides and the nurse doesn’t keep tabs on the parents employment situation in most cases.

This is how it works at our school.

Do you typically press your child for information about her classmates? She might be saying just a sore throat or stomache ache as it gets you to ease off and relax.