Anonymous wrote:we started bedtime last night at 6, so were probably done with bath and stories etc by 7. Little one definitely napped too late in the day -- big one didnt' nap at all, he did attend two birthday parties though so sugar may have played a role.

Big one could climb out of crib at 18 months -- we did the super nanny method then (oh it may take 10 tries but they'll eventually stay in crib -- the first night after 36 -- 36!-- times of me putting him back in crib and him climbing out, I caved.)

I have never ever met anyone as stubborn as this kid, and he comes from a long line of stubborn people -- myself and DH included.

7 is a very early bedtime for a 5 year old. Try 8.

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to just gear up for a month of hardcore consistency. No giving an inch. No discussions no talking.

My DD went through this around 3 and for weeks dh and I would trade off when we hit a patience wall but we would stand outside the door and not engage but if she came out of her room we would put her back in. No conversation, just put her back in. It was ok if she wanted to get out of bed but the lights stayed out and if she was bad the door got shut (she has nightlights) and then we would stand there and be silent enforcers while she raged.

With my son he just kind of went through a similar phase but it wasn't as bad. And we would just keep doing it every day. Put him in bed. Hug. Show love but leave. If he comes out put him back in over and over. Hes only 2 so when he got really worked up we would do a little comforting but not give an inch.

If they believe you are firm they will accept the parameter on their live. But you have to be like a beacon of calm. The second we would start to get snippy with them the other parent would tap in. Every once in awhile they'll test our boundaries and it will be a rough week but 95% of the time bedtime routine works seamlessly.

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This a million times, and apply it to every other discipline issue as well.

If your house is childproofed, instead of forcing them to stay in their room, put them to bed and go to your room and lock the door. This worked within a few nights. At first my DC would knock on my door and call for me, then switched to knocking but no calling out, then stayed in bed. Sometimes DC wandered about the house for a bit turning lights on and off, but eventually went back to bed. I only went outside if a diaper needed to be changed.

Anonymous wrote:Well you need to be firm and consistent. Mommy becomes really mean to kids who don’t go to bed on time. Also put childproof covers on door knobs so they cannot leave the room.

This. Or hook and eye on the top of the door if they can open doorknob covers.

Are they in daycare and what time do you pick them up from it? Or do they see you during the day? Sounds like a attention action.

1, 2, 3 Magic and similar. This is on you, sorry. Has nothing to do with not doing CIO.

Anonymous wrote:we started bedtime last night at 6, so were probably done with bath and stories etc by 7. Little one definitely napped too late in the day -- big one didnt' nap at all, he did attend two birthday parties though so sugar may have played a role.

Big one could climb out of crib at 18 months -- we did the super nanny method then (oh it may take 10 tries but they'll eventually stay in crib -- the first night after 36 -- 36!-- times of me putting him back in crib and him climbing out, I caved.)

I have never ever met anyone as stubborn as this kid, and he comes from a long line of stubborn people -- myself and DH included.

Yup that was me and my kid. He is totally fine at 7 but I will stay in his room from time to time.

Parenting is as much following your gut and knowing your kid. Not every child has to have the same routine. You are not ruining your kid if you stay in their room or don't do cry it out. DS is very clear that his disappointment with bed time is that he wants to be with us. He likes being with us. He can fall asleep on his own. He is not tantruming. We had several silent protests when he was 3. He would take his blankie and stuffed animal and sit in the hallway until Dad came home from tennis. He was quiet about it so I would turn the corner to go tot he bathroom and he would be sitting there.

OP: Trust your gut and do what feels right for you. If the Super Nanny works for you, great. If after a week of it taking 35 efforts and not getting better, then it is ok to try something else. Hell, after one night of that stupidity try something else.

we started bedtime last night at 6, so were probably done with bath and stories etc by 7. Little one definitely napped too late in the day -- big one didnt' nap at all, he did attend two birthday parties though so sugar may have played a role.

Big one could climb out of crib at 18 months -- we did the super nanny method then (oh it may take 10 tries but they'll eventually stay in crib -- the first night after 36 -- 36!-- times of me putting him back in crib and him climbing out, I caved.)

I have never ever met anyone as stubborn as this kid, and he comes from a long line of stubborn people -- myself and DH included.

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to just gear up for a month of hardcore consistency. No giving an inch. No discussions no talking.

My DD went through this around 3 and for weeks dh and I would trade off when we hit a patience wall but we would stand outside the door and not engage but if she came out of her room we would put her back in. No conversation, just put her back in. It was ok if she wanted to get out of bed but the lights stayed out and if she was bad the door got shut (she has nightlights) and then we would stand there and be silent enforcers while she raged.

With my son he just kind of went through a similar phase but it wasn't as bad. And we would just keep doing it every day. Put him in bed. Hug. Show love but leave. If he comes out put him back in over and over. Hes only 2 so when he got really worked up we would do a little comforting but not give an inch.

If they believe you are firm they will accept the parameter on their live. But you have to be like a beacon of calm. The second we would start to get snippy with them the other parent would tap in. Every once in awhile they'll test our boundaries and it will be a rough week but 95% of the time bedtime routine works seamlessly.

+1 This method is full on Super Nanny. Her old shows can probably be found on You Tube. It will take hours to break this habit, but you can WIN!

Anonymous wrote:DS is 7 and I sit and read in his room while he falls asleep most nights. If I have something to do, I’ll do it and he’ll be fine with it. It has nothing to do with not doing cry it out, although we didn’t, and everything to do with wanting to be with us. Kids don’t really understand the need for sleep and want to be with the people they love. DS doesn’t need me to fall asleep but he likes it when I am there. I can read or play games in the family room or his room, why not his room?

The day will come when he doesn’t want me there, so I’ll enjoy those moments now.

We tend to do this as well with our almost 7 year old BUT he can sleep without us there. I don't think OP should go this route because then it means she is going to have to be in there every night, which isn't really realistic.

Do they still nap? if so then cut this out, if napping at daycare then you need to do a later bedtime if its not there fault they are not tired.

If no naps and they are just playing up then you need to be consistant with consequences for the behavior.

DS is 7 and I sit and read in his room while he falls asleep most nights. If I have something to do, I’ll do it and he’ll be fine with it. It has nothing to do with not doing cry it out, although we didn’t, and everything to do with wanting to be with us. Kids don’t really understand the need for sleep and want to be with the people they love. DS doesn’t need me to fall asleep but he likes it when I am there. I can read or play games in the family room or his room, why not his room?

The day will come when he doesn’t want me there, so I’ll enjoy those moments now.

Can they listen to music or something in bed?

When DS was 3.5-4, my mom got him a kids MP3 player and he fell asleep listening to music. It was simple to use so sometimes he'd wake up in the middle of the night and would restart the music to get himself back to sleep. Now he's almost 7 and for the past year or so he falls asleep listening to a book on his Kindle. Sometimes I hear him wake up in the middle of the night and tell Alexis to read something if he's trying to go back to sleep.

It does sound like you have a broader issue here about attention seeking.

Consider bringing in a sleep coach or third party to help resolve this. At this age there is no magic bullet but someone might be able to help with a holistic strategy. You feeling as stressed as you do about work (been there) and trying to parent in these hours of the night without support isn’t going well, and it’s hard to imagine that it will without a major change. There could be so many reasons for this behavior that you need someone to assess the big picture, including nutrition, screen time, daytime exercise, sleep schedule, parental reinforcement, etc.

FWIW when my kids leave the crib I have them on a full-sized floor mattress inside a big playard, with sleep sacks. Basically a giant crib. I feel my kids sleep better with consistency and boundaries. We’ve not yet had issues with waking up early, coming to our room, etc. During developmental stages of course there is sleep resistance but usually they agree to work it out with just singing to themselves. From time to time, during v anxious phases we have had to be in there more for comfort — enough so our kids know that we are there but not so much they can’t fall asleep on their own.

Anonymous wrote:Well you need to be firm and consistent. Mommy becomes really mean to kids who don’t go to bed on time. Also put childproof covers on door knobs so they cannot leave the room.

You probably already have a night light but, if not, plug one in.