I have 8 yo twins. I'm Asian, so my kids are half-Asian. But as we are higher income, they are privileged and essentially lead a life of white privilege.

We talk about race a lot. We note the race of their friends and our family friends. As we live in PG County, we are a minority here, and there are a lot of black and Hispanic neighbors and people around. We make sure that we note that everyone is equal. That no one is better or worse than others based on the color of their skin. We have talked about racial inequalities in the past and that we must be sensitive to ensure that everyone feels that they are being treated equally and that no one feels that they are being treated differently or less than others.

OP, I think that you are making a mistake. By looking to find positive models of whiteness, you will instill a sense of racial superiority in them. The American world around them, especially in bastions of white elitism like most of the DCUM world, caters to white Americans. It automatically gives them white privilege and gives them an advantage in life. If you also reinforce those societal advantages by highlighting positive models of whiteness, then you will cause them to look up to those models and will also give them a sense of racial superiority. Personally what I think you need to do is counter the messages that being white is bad or a problem. You need to emphasize that racially everyone is equal, that no one is greater or less than any other due to race. Make sure to note positive role models of all races without emphasis on the positive models of whiteness. This is the message that needs to be given to our youth. That all are created equal and that all should be treated equal regardless of race.

While I understand why you chose the message that you did, I think that it will backfire if you try to push that and you will end up instilling a sense of white superiority. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mr. Rogers was a white guy who was great at showing how non-racist he was.

he didn't fight institutional racism though. you need to fight.

Oh, my friend, you are gravely mistaken about the career of Mr. Rogers.

Yes, this is really scary stuff.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am only now beginning to grasp my white privilege as a 50 year old female, and STILL feeling like being female is a handicap. How in the world am I supposed to teach this to my 14 year old white son?

You have conversations. Lots of conversations. My 11 yr old and I heard a story on NPR yesterday. It was an interview with Booker and an economist about his plan for student loan debt. The economist shared that she had huge debts and had had a hard time finding a job. She did a test and sent out her resume with a different (non latina) name and a different address, and got many more calls for an interview. We talked about this story at dinner last night, just hearing it wasn't enough.

Black mom here--thanks for taking the time to have the conversations with your kid. Letting them know it's okay to broach the topic of race (along with a myriad of other uncomfortable issues) goes a long way.

Anonymous wrote:I am only now beginning to grasp my white privilege as a 50 year old female, and STILL feeling like being female is a handicap. How in the world am I supposed to teach this to my 14 year old white son?

You have conversations. Lots of conversations. My 11 yr old and I heard a story on NPR yesterday. It was an interview with Booker and an economist about his plan for student loan debt. The economist shared that she had huge debts and had had a hard time finding a job. She did a test and sent out her resume with a different (non latina) name and a different address, and got many more calls for an interview. We talked about this story at dinner last night, just hearing it wasn't enough.

Anonymous wrote:Mr. Rogers was a white guy who was great at showing how non-racist he was.

he didn't fight institutional racism though. you need to fight.

Anonymous wrote:I am only now beginning to grasp my white privilege as a 50 year old female, and STILL feeling like being female is a handicap. How in the world am I supposed to teach this to my 14 year old white son?

the problem with "white privilege" is that it is not a value. It's a sociological term open to argument for individuals who don't feel personally privileged. You can try Spiderman instead - "with great power comes great responsibility."

I am only now beginning to grasp my white privilege as a 50 year old female, and STILL feeling like being female is a handicap. How in the world am I supposed to teach this to my 14 year old white son?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Positive models of whiteness! Like white people who do not center themselves in every discussion about the effects of structural racism and active white supremacy. They’re out there.

are you trying to say that you think the linked article is "centering" and shouldn't have been published?

No, I’m saying that the OP’s insistence that kids can’t be inoculated against becoming white supremacists without “positive white role models” is silly...and racist.

The article is fine.

why is that silly? We’re talking about kids. Do you really think that teaching kids whiteness is negative is a good way to raise kids who are anti-racist? I don’t think you’ve thought this through.

I think you’re white.

yes, obviously? The article and this post are about how to raise non-racist white boys.

If you’re conceding that it is “obvious” that you are white by virtue of you announcing that positive white role models are necessary and telling someone you don’t know that you “don’t think they’ve thought this through”—which is what gave it away—well, then you see the problem. Maybe.

It says in article AND MY OP that I am white. The topic is raising a white son to be anti-racist.

Seems to me that it's important for white boys to see and be explicitly taught allyship (white girls, too, fwiw -- although in different ways). What does it look like to speak up, and what does it look like to make space for others to speak up?

Also, I absolutely do NOT think 12 year olds are too young to understand white privilege. They may have a less nuanced understanding but I think it's actually really critical for boys on the verge of adolescence to get a sense of this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Positive models of whiteness! Like white people who do not center themselves in every discussion about the effects of structural racism and active white supremacy. They’re out there.

are you trying to say that you think the linked article is "centering" and shouldn't have been published?

No, I’m saying that the OP’s insistence that kids can’t be inoculated against becoming white supremacists without “positive white role models” is silly...and racist.

The article is fine.

why is that silly? We’re talking about kids. Do you really think that teaching kids whiteness is negative is a good way to raise kids who are anti-racist? I don’t think you’ve thought this through.

I think you’re white.

yes, obviously? The article and this post are about how to raise non-racist white boys.

If you’re conceding that it is “obvious” that you are white by virtue of you announcing that positive white role models are necessary and telling someone you don’t know that you “don’t think they’ve thought this through”—which is what gave it away—well, then you see the problem. Maybe.

Anonymous wrote:Mr. Rogers was a white guy who was great at showing how non-racist he was.

And there’s also John Brown!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Positive models of whiteness! Like white people who do not center themselves in every discussion about the effects of structural racism and active white supremacy. They’re out there.

are you trying to say that you think the linked article is "centering" and shouldn't have been published?

No, I’m saying that the OP’s insistence that kids can’t be inoculated against becoming white supremacists without “positive white role models” is silly...and racist.

The article is fine.

why is that silly? We’re talking about kids. Do you really think that teaching kids whiteness is negative is a good way to raise kids who are anti-racist? I don’t think you’ve thought this through.

I think you’re white.

yes, obviously? The article and this post are about how to raise non-racist white boys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Positive models of whiteness! Like white people who do not center themselves in every discussion about the effects of structural racism and active white supremacy. They’re out there.

are you trying to say that you think the linked article is "centering" and shouldn't have been published?

No, I’m saying that the OP’s insistence that kids can’t be inoculated against becoming white supremacists without “positive white role models” is silly...and racist.

The article is fine.

why is that silly? We’re talking about kids. Do you really think that teaching kids whiteness is negative is a good way to raise kids who are anti-racist? I don’t think you’ve thought this through.

I think you’re white.

Mr. Rogers was a white guy who was great at showing how non-racist he was.