Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 14:54     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:I thought people just took their children on vacations with them.


I've learned from bitter experience that a vacation with my high energy 1 year old and 2.5 year old is anything BUT vacation.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 14:54     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
We've flown to where trusted family live. My parents are in California, so we'll fly out there for a week in the summer and take a night away to ourselves. That's the longest we've ever been away together since DS was born 5 years ago though.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 14:52     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:We don't go away without kids. It is what it is.


Same.

And I never wanted to. Still do this and my kids are 20 and 18.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 14:51     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:We have family vacations, we are a family. We don’t travel without our kids.


Got that everyone? If you travel without your kids, you are not a family.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 14:50     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I thought people just took their children on vacations with them.


People like you are really annoying.


I'm not sure why? We don't have any local family and so didn't have an option. Our twins turned 8 this year and this summer was the first time we traveled without them. We had a family friend who has babysat for us in the past and who is an empty nester. She usually volunteers to babysit for us when she has that "little kid" yearning (her own kids are only in college, so nowhere near ready to give her grandchildren). We had to go away for a commitment that would be near impossible without children, so she volunteered to have them sleep over at her house. The kids had a great time, our friend and her husband had a great time and we got to go away. We might have considered something similar as early as about 5-6, but in the 5-7 years, we didn't have anything that required us to travel childless, so we didn't. But when we had kids, we realized that we were not going to be able to get away by ourselves for the first several years. And it was fine. That was a sacrifice that we chose to make. I understand many don't make that choice, but it is an option if there isn't anyone that you trust to care for your kids while you are away. You just bite the bullet until they are old enough that you do trust others to care for them. What age that is, depends on the parents.


DP and not the one who said you are really annoying. I actually read through all that babble in your response and you are disingenuous. Clearly you are fully aware that people sometimes don't take their children on vacations with them. So by saying, I thought people just took their children on vacations with them, you are being snarky and yes you're being judgmental. Hence, why you were called annoying.



Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 14:48     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
We have family vacations, we are a family. We don’t travel without our kids.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 14:46     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
We never travel together without our kids. We take family trips and prefer it this way.
My parents never traveled without my brothers & me when we were kids. My in-laws didn’t take kid-free trips either, despite having grandparents nearby.
In my places & social circles, this is normal and no one minds.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 14:40     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I thought people just took their children on vacations with them.


People like you are really annoying.


I'm not sure why? We don't have any local family and so didn't have an option. Our twins turned 8 this year and this summer was the first time we traveled without them. We had a family friend who has babysat for us in the past and who is an empty nester. She usually volunteers to babysit for us when she has that "little kid" yearning (her own kids are only in college, so nowhere near ready to give her grandchildren). We had to go away for a commitment that would be near impossible without children, so she volunteered to have them sleep over at her house. The kids had a great time, our friend and her husband had a great time and we got to go away. We might have considered something similar as early as about 5-6, but in the 5-7 years, we didn't have anything that required us to travel childless, so we didn't. But when we had kids, we realized that we were not going to be able to get away by ourselves for the first several years. And it was fine. That was a sacrifice that we chose to make. I understand many don't make that choice, but it is an option if there isn't anyone that you trust to care for your kids while you are away. You just bite the bullet until they are old enough that you do trust others to care for them. What age that is, depends on the parents.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 14:31     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
The town I grew up in had a very active babysitter co-op. Each family had vouchers they would use to "pay" another family with. Basically a childcare swap, and there was a directory with family names and ages of kids. We made great friends with other families in our smallish town that way. We ended up staying with those families when our parents went away for 2-3 nights, and would often have kids staying with us when we returned the favor. We also had the best beach vacations where several families stayed in a huge house together, and pitched in to pay two teenage babysitters to come along. All the parents had plenty of nights out and adult vacation time that way.

Now with our own kids we don't have local family, either, but are lucky enough to have grandparents fly in and stay a couple weeks a year. We usually get away for a night or two during those visits. Otherwise we happily pay out the nose for a few trusted babysitters.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 13:26     Subject: Re:If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:I genuinely don't understand how people are so confounded by this topic.

If you are the type of people who would like to leave your kids to go away (I am and have done it) and you don't have family to watch the kids (we don't), your choices are:

Hire a sitter. We've done this. Yes, it's expensive. No, you don't find some random and leave them with your kid for a night or two. You build up to it with a trusted sitter.

Trade with family friends when they are older. We have done this with friends for 1-2 nights. We keep your kid one weekend, you keep one of ours some other weekend. We do this less often than use sitters.

The longest trip we've ever done using a sitter is 4 nights. That was a one time thing for a special occasion. I would say every other year or so, we do a 1-2 night trip. So we're not doing it all the time or going to Asia for 10 days. But it works for us.


+1000

My parents had no local family but made it work. We have no local family but make it work. I really don't understand why this is such a difficult concept for people to grasp. There must be six thousand threads on this.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 13:24     Subject: Re:If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:I grew up on the west coast and our closest family was a 5 hour flight. My parents never went away when we were little (except for a cross country funeral). Once I was in grade school they would trade with another family from our school. Looking back it seems a bit crazy and also awesome at the same time. Every October one set of parents would go away for 2 weeks. So the first year my sister and I moved in with the other family and the next year the other 2 kids moved in with us. This went on for at least 8 years. Some of my favorite memories are from the time we spent with our October siblings.


This is amazing!
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 13:23     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:I thought people just took their children on vacations with them.


People do take their children on vacations with them AND they also occasionally travel without their children.

I know, it's an astonishing concept. Just re-read the sentence a few times and see if it clicks.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 13:20     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Anonymous wrote:I thought people just took their children on vacations with them.


It's different, and you know it, you are just being judgemental. You can take your kids on vacation but also have a desire to go away with your spouse, these are not mutually exclusive!
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 13:18     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
Some people hire sitters, so that is an option.

We don't have any local family so we have only gone away once in 10 years of parenting- had my parents fly in to watch the kids for 5 days. It was great to get away, but not something we plan on doing again until our kids are old enough to stay home alone.
Anonymous
Post 10/15/2019 13:16     Subject: If you can’t leave your kids with family to go away...
We take ours with us.