Anonymous wrote:This sounds like FASD.

+1

Anonymous wrote:OP here — to have a child that lacks both common sense and book smarts and is entitled and never at fault makes me nervous.

It just is.

That's ok OP. He needs to learn, especially while you and your family can help him.

I have a friend like this and she is cratering now that her parents are dead; don't make the mistake they did of trying to keep him close to you and supervise him at all times.

OP here — to have a child that lacks both common sense and book smarts and is entitled and never at fault makes me nervous.

It just is.

Anonymous wrote:He has your genetics. You are a miserable person so of course he has issues.

This is unnecessarily cruel. You are a jackass.

A guy I grew up with fixes elevators. Like, he's an elevator mechanic.

A girl I grew up with works at an animal rescue. She doesn't run it - she just works there.

Another girl I grew up with, one of the smartest in our grade, worked as a cashier at a car dealership before becoming a SAHM. TO HER DOGS.

So, he has potential to be just fine. You just won't be able to brag about his school or job accomplishments. Teach him to be a good earnest person who is responsible and a good friend/husband/worker and he'll be fine.

Anonymous wrote:It is likely that his negativity comes from the fact that his parents do not even like him. I don’t see any affection or love in the post. You have certain expectations of who he should be, and that’s not who he is, and there’s nothing he can do about it. I’d be angry too.

This!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He has your genetics. You are a miserable person so of course he has issues.

There’s that DCUM support I know and love.

I think more people should accept their kids are exceptional. Our son isn’t smart. And yet he’s entitled. And he’s never wrong.

It’s a dangerous combo.

He became that way because of your parenting. Step up and help him with school or get him a tutor. Better yet, give him to another family who wants him. You clearly don't. This is a parenting issue.

What was his IS from the neuropsychological evaluation?

Anonymous wrote:- knock some sense into him - military school
- take his "evil" powers of lying and focus that "creativity" into the arts - theater, writing
- give him a more structured environment - boarding school
- work on a trade - auto mechanic, handyman

These are good suggestions.

It hard for parents in this area to remember that not all children are going to intelligent book smart achievers who are college bound. There are many other paths one can take to becoming a non-criminal productive member of society.

In my own circle of family and friends, I’ve seen people who struggled academically take the following non-college routes and while they are not wealthy, do just fine: forklift operator, retail manager, nursing aid, sales, janitorial worker and automotive service.

There are several issues - the lying is different from the low intelligence and can be addressed.

Look, get him into something like learning to work on cars or bikes. It will keep his hands busy and give him a springboard to a career.

Anonymous wrote:- knock some sense into him - military school
- take his "evil" powers of lying and focus that "creativity" into the arts - theater, writing
- give him a more structured environment - boarding school
- work on a trade - auto mechanic, handyman

This. He must have a talent in there somewhere. I remember a piece on a neuroscientist who was studying sociopaths. When he did his own brain scan for comparison, he found out that he too had the brain of a sociopath and talked about what made the difference for him when he was growing up. You may want to read about him. Obviously you have found a way to stay sober despite your genetics, so there is a way out for your son too.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/the-neuroscientist-who-discovered-he-was-a-psychopath-180947814/

https://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=175613089

It is likely that his negativity comes from the fact that his parents do not even like him. I don’t see any affection or love in the post. You have certain expectations of who he should be, and that’s not who he is, and there’s nothing he can do about it. I’d be angry too.

Why is your title, he is not smart? So, you are ok with him being evil as long as he is smart?!

Op — this is an off the beaten path idea but have you tried a therapy with horses? A few years ago a parent volunteer I worked with was involved with that kind of therapy somewhere around or near the DC area. I’m being totally serious about this. There is something about being around these animals and caring for these animals that helps people. I’ve heard of groups that work successfully with people who have special needs. I’ve also heard use of it to help rehabilitate convicts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He has your genetics. You are a miserable person so of course he has issues.

The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. If you truly care about your child maybe you should sort out your issues together with a Psychologist and if need be a Psychiatrist. Mental Health is a serious matter.

OP already addressed this.