Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:once my dd told me that i looked like a dog

Good one!! Made me laugh even though I am not the OP.

When my DS was 5 or was often asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. . . He asked me earnestly why I never became anything when I grew up?

Anonymous wrote:My kid threatened to call child protective services. Because I took his iPhone until he turned in missing work and handed him a flip phone. Or should I say— the phone I bought and was on our family plan. I was like— have at it. But you might want research the iPhone policies in foster homes.

Ah yes, mine has threatened to call 911 on the landline several times for putting him in an unsafe environment. I encourage it and tell him I will love to hear him explain how a minor not having cell is an emergency. Obviously he doesn’t call. It’s always when he has lost cell privileges for something and he is trying to tell me he needs one for safety.

My oldest will be 15 next month. He only knows two words and one phrase in English language right now those would be “whatever“, “shut up!“, “You’re an idiot“. Oh, he does apologize for his language with the caveat that I talk too much and he is done. Gotta love it, and I have a second just entering this lovely phase...

These are hysterical. Keep them coming!

My DS, upon losing phone privileges because he was being obnoxious to his little brother: I don't know why you say that you pay for the phone. All the apps I use are free! You don't actually own anything and it doesn't cost you anything! (He has an Android Motorola smartphone.) I will just get one myself!

I said "Be my guest."

Anonymous wrote:My DD, then 16, walks around talking on her phone. She sees me, I assume, as she walks into the kitchen.

DD (into phone): Great, Dylan! Geez, thanks so much, Dylan.... hey, Dylan what time are we meeting them? Okay, bye, Dylan!

DD hangs up.

Me: how’s Dylan?

DD: (furious and suspicious). How did you know I was talking to Dylan?!! Are you bugging my phone?!


I love those sweet mother-daughter moments.

This has had never giggling for a good half hour! So something my DD would say!

I reminded DD, 14, that she has an orthodontist appointment tomorrow and she said, “you’re only doing this to torture me!”.

Yes, we paid several thousands of dollars in orthodontist bills just to torture our kid.

These stories are making me smile as I remember my DC’s delightful teen years. Hang in there folks, it does get better. My 21 year old DS is home for fall break. He has been so sweet, helpful and appreciative, it’s been awesome.

I said good morning when I saw 13YO DD for the first time today. She yelled "Shut Up!" That's all, folks.

Anonymous wrote:once my dd told me that i looked like a dog

Good one!! Made me laugh even though I am not the OP.

My favorite moment so far was when the kids were 11. Day off from school and another mom and I took the day off of work and were taking them somewhere fun, that they wanted/requested (and wssn't cheap). We were up front, quietly eavesdropping: the kids were fighting over who's mom was meaner.

As teens their words are more biting/hurtful, but I know it's part hormones, part separating, and keep reminding myself that this too shall pass. Wine helps (and I do not usually drink!).

What you need is a really nasty and hostile elderly parent obsessed with taking out all their rage on you. Then anything and I do mean anything your tween or teen says pales in comparison and is a huge relief. Ask me how I know...

My 15 year old DS was pissed with me today for wrecking his Saturday.

How? I woke him up at noon. And, I asked him to wear pants/shorts and not remain in his boxers because we were expecting a visitor.

Okey-dokey, artichokey!

These are great. I'm not OP, but have two teens and I'm loving this. It's been a rough few weeks in our house with them and I need a little laughter.

I insisted DC go for therapy because of anxiety issues. After 2 years of weekly talks, he saunters in and tells me, "Just so you know, the therapist told me that you guys (the parents) are actually really great and fabulous and all my issues are because of me!"

Hah! I knew it!!

I remember being a teen. I didn't get along with my mother and I truly believed her only purpose in life was to ruin mine. I spent as little time at home as possible.

It doesn't last forever.

One of my dumbest teen moments. I had told my parents I was staying at a friends house overnight (I was 16). I was but her parents were away and about 8 other kids were staying over as well. Believe it or not we weren't drinking. We made tons of jello and we were running around the neighborhood at 3:00 am throwing jello at each other.