Since they began kindergarten, our kids have always had "school friends," "neighborhood friends," "pool/club friends," and "sports friends." If you choose a school that is further away then try to ensure that your child has neighborhood friends, too, and that you are involved in local rec leagues. We live in Alexandria. Our situation is not unusual. Almost all the families we know send their kids to schools outside of the local neighborhood, whether that be into the District or to nearby schools that are not part of the immediate neighborhood. It is completely different from how my husband and I were raised but it is the norm for here. Our kids seem very happy and well-adjusted. We don't worry about it.

We live about 30 min away from private. We have regular playdates, maybe 5-7 a month, but they are usually at the house of the kids who live closer to the school. We reciprocate in other ways, usually outings close to school.

Our kid attends a private that is a 5 min drive away (the upper school is farther away). However, interestingly, very few kids in our neighborhood attend the school. She has few playdates because most of her friends seem to live 20-30 min away or more. Playdates almost never happen, and birthday invites are a few times a year. Kid's own bday parties are a mix of kids from her current private, and kids from old public/scout troop. So far it works okay but we'll see how things go for middle/high.

Our kids are at SSFS which is a 20-30 minute drive depending on traffic. We live near the bus route though so there are plenty of local families. The student body is pretty spread out and the school helps to support social connections. Social events happen through the school several times a semester and birthday parties tend to include the whole class. Our kids are getting so much more out of this than they would have from MCPS so it is worth it.

If you have a choice, pick the closest school to your house that is acceptable to you. We tried a school that was 35 minutes away from our house and driving her an hour to school then an hour back ended up being too long of a drive for me. Playdates never happened because I would then have had to drive even further to pick her up if the other child lived in the opposite direction. And no one was willing to come to our house because it was too far.

We switched to a school that is 10 minutes away and it has been much better socially.

We did the walkable elementary school and 30 minute away middle and high school. Unless they are at school in an activity, our kids hang out with the neighborhood friends. There are social gatherings with school friends for birthdays and particular events, but those are planned, scheduled, and involve a lot of people driving pretty far distances. When they start driving themselves, it may change a little.

For older kids it isn't a big deal because their activities take up most of the non-homework free time anyway, and they have a very active on-line social life after homework is done (which is probably hard for you parents of kinders to imagine).

Sorry. 20 not 2"

We live in McLean and have 2 at dc privates. The schools are great. The social situation is tough. Our kids are still in elementary. We supplement the lack of socializing with sports and activities in the McLean area. The kids seem fine for now...how will they be in 2" years?....who knows.

I grew up in Potomac, went to school in NW DC. There were always a few kids nearby-ish who went to school with me, but none within walking distance. It was a little tough when I made close friends at school with a girl from Reston. My mom wasn’t too keen to drive me out that way to help facilitate the friendship.

We live 30 mins from school. I make an effort to offer play dates at parks close to school. Winter will get trickier, but it is what it is. So far DC hasn’t noticed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You clearly don't live in a city.

I live in SF where there is a lottery system. The school DD got placed at was 50-60 minutes away by train. We live on the East side of the city, the school is in the middle. DD made friends from all areas of the city. Often after school she would go to a nearby park to play with friends and get a snack at a nearby cafe. You learn who's on your train line and where they live. DD got invited to birthday parties where we had to plan an hour and a half on the train+ walking to get there. It's fine. Not ideal, but fine. You deal with it.

This is reason number 4573023 that no one in their right mind would live in San Francisco.

BTW, how are your power outages?

?? No power outage in the city.

pfft - the PP just wanted to bash SF. probably because it's so 'liberal' and 'leftist'.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You clearly don't live in a city.

I live in SF where there is a lottery system. The school DD got placed at was 50-60 minutes away by train. We live on the East side of the city, the school is in the middle. DD made friends from all areas of the city. Often after school she would go to a nearby park to play with friends and get a snack at a nearby cafe. You learn who's on your train line and where they live. DD got invited to birthday parties where we had to plan an hour and a half on the train+ walking to get there. It's fine. Not ideal, but fine. You deal with it.

This is reason number 4573023 that no one in their right mind would live in San Francisco.

BTW, how are your power outages?

?? No power outage in the city.

We are in your position OP and it's fine for us. We don't have a lot of kids in the immediate neighborhood so we expect to always be driving anyway. IMHO, 30 mins each way is an awfully long time for a 5-6 year old though, especially if you are then doing another far away activity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did one 30 minutes and socially was tuff as everyone was spread out and most didn't want to drive distances for things like parties.

But if everyone was spread out then it wasn't just an issue for your kid, right?

In my case, most of the kids live at least 20 minutes away from the school so it's an issue for everyone. We don't do playdates beyond birthday parties (sites chosen in a central town) but we tend to do sleepovers instead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did one 30 minutes and socially was tuff as everyone was spread out and most didn't want to drive distances for things like parties.

But if everyone was spread out then it wasn't just an issue for your kid, right?

Some lived closer than others but it was more a social issue on weekends. It was for all the kids.