Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I lower my standards.

This! Either that or hire FT help. We have someone clean every day and our house is still not perfectly clean or organized.

You have your house cleaned everyday and it is still a mess?! Do you live in a fraternity house or you're just slobs?

Any toy not any you^^

Anonymous wrote:I'm so exhausted with trying to keep our house decent looking. Our kids are constantly making messes, I'm too tired to clean much after work and spending time with the kids, and it just piles up. It feels insurmountable now, and I fear that even if I could get things organized, the chaos will just return in no time. I'm about to take on a new, more stressful role at work, and I know it's only going to make things worse. How do I manage all the stuff and dirt and constant need to be putting something away? Sometimes I just want to relax at the end of the day...

What works for you? I know this isn't something that comes naturally to me (and DH even less so), so i need simple things that will actually work to help us!

From the beginning you teach them to pick up after themselves! Any you left out gets trashed and, believe me, you only have to do it once. (To be honest, I really didn't put in trash but put out of sight for a couple of months and then it somehow turned up.). You start very young and it becomes ingrained in them. Husband's are a different matter!

Ensure that you are splitting these tasks equally with your spouse. Create a division of labor and stick to it.

I have an “adult space” aka foyer, dining and living which are basically clean except for a smal toy box.

The upstairs is a total mess with our family and play room. I take trash down and dishes every day but I will often go
to bed if it’s messy. Kitchen I enjoy cleaning and do it every day.

Relax at the end of the day! You deserve it. But, organize and clean on weekends. Don’t lower standards. Just get over the psychological dread of going through stuff.

Before you lower your standards, I’d throw away your stuff. If you only have a small closet full of clothes they never pile up. Same with toys and dishes. Prioritize the big ticket items - clear the surfaces in common areas, make your bed, don’t stack dishes. Your house will feel better with those even if your floors are dirty.

Anonymous wrote:I lower my standards.

This! Either that or hire FT help. We have someone clean every day and our house is still not perfectly clean or organized.

DH and I are both super clean and neat. I cannot stand a messy house. It literally gives me anxiety. We have a 2 and 4 year old. Upstairs in the family room is one toy chest. All the rest of the toys are downstairs in the basement. Laundry gets put away immediately, dirty dishes go in the dishwasher or washed every night before bed. When I go up to bed the house is pretty organized and clean. I also ruthlessly purge toys (new ones come in for Christmas or birthdays and old ones go out). I organize clothes that need to be stored in bins and papers are filed away or shredded. I just ordered two new storage file bins to keep all the kids important papers in or art projects that I want to keep.

I just never stop. Work full time, cook and clean, by days end I sleep pretty good. With my boyfriends three year old, we just constantly reiterate that she needs to clean up before she switches toys.

Read “A Housekeeper is Cheaper than a Divorce”. The reality is that you are two working parents taking care of tiny humans and you cannot do it all. You think you can and should be able to because your whole life, domestic tasks have been expected of you (“why can’t you clean your own house?”) and uncompensated. It’s manageable when you are kid-free because you have some bandwidth. Now you have kids- but you have the same amount of hours in a day and the same (or less) amount of energy. So, either expect to be cooking and cleaning during all your free hours in the evening, or think about hiring some help!

We got rid of a LOT. My boys (4 and 2) only have access to a few toys at once. Everything else is in a closet (locked) or basement. They have one “thing” at a time: trains, paw patrol cars, Melissa and Doug stuff. They always have duplos and wooden blocks but they know not to dump it. THEY clean up at the end of the day. We have baskets. They have plenty of books. We clean before bed. If they don’t clean up, they don’t get a story book. But cleaning up is SIMPLE because they just have to put a few things in a basket.

You need to throw stuff away.

I hired a professional organizer to help me. We went through all my stuff, tossed a lot and organized the rest in labeled and thoughtfully located bins. It was a splurge, but once I had a system in place for each of my problem areas (mudroom, laundry, pantry and playroom were the biggies), I was able to keep with it - it's been three years. It was an investment well worth it.

DH and I are both Type A.
We have a nanny who directs the kids in cleaning up their messes.
We have twice a week cleaning ladies.
The kids are not allowed to pick up anything outside except money (hey look at this cool dead slug I'll just put in my pocket! NOPE).
Shoes are taken off immediately upon entering the house.
After that you wash your hands right away (you can put down stuff first).
When transitioning from one activity to the next, you first clean up what you were doing.
Before dinner we clean up. After dinner we clean up from dinner and set up for the next morning (pack lunches too).
Before bath/bed everyone cleans up.
Before leaving the house we clean up.
No playing inside in the morning before school. If the kids have extra time after getting ALL ready, they can read inside or play in the front yard.

We do not lower our standards. That's just not okay with us. We have more stuff since having kids, and you can tell we have them when you're in the common areas of our house, but there are no crumbs or stains on the couches or carpeting, no messy stacks of paper on kitchen counters, etc.