Anonymous wrote:If you are a foster mom, besides taking care of the kids, what would you teach them so that they are better equipped when they leave you?

Banking, personal safety, thinking long-term rather than short-term, having healthy boundaries.

How to swim. Could save his life.

How to read a lease, a job offer letter, etc.

How to make and stick to a budget.

I'm a college prof, and this is what I'd recommend based upon my work with undergrads:

1) Time management--how to work backwards from the time you need to be there/deadline

2) Public transportation--where to get a Metro card, how to refill it, how to hold onto it, how to transfer, how to read a map

3) Anticipation--can you anticipate needs (food, clothing, transit)? events? accidents?

4) Prioritizing sleep, healthy eating, and wellness. It's OK to not stay out until 3am. It's OK to listen to your body.

5) Reading a real newspaper--what is news, what is an op-ed/opinion piece, what is an ad

6) Budgeting--including paying taxes, saving for retirement, saving for emergencies, paying bills on time, setting up a credit record

7) Cleanliness--how often wash sheets, vacuum, do laundry, dishes, etc.

8) Cooking--basic meals, pantry items to have on hand, tossing food out when it goes bad

How to change a flat tire and how to jump a dead battery.

---Being on time

---Being on time for job interviews and appointments

Financial skills

--credit, why it can be treacherous
--financial negotiation skills
--value, what offers value
--Mr. Money Mustache forum has some good info for kids

A kid launched at 18 really needs solid financial skills.

Start in small ways, i.e. packing lunch is cheaper than
buying a $15.00 lunch out.

I second the riding a bike skill.

It can be very helpful to get to work and to get around
a college campus.

Ask for help when you need it...

If kid is college bound or trade school bound I'd try
to get a volunteer from a religious organization
to help kid with applications. People will be honored
to be asked and help.

How to look things up, and the confidence to try a new skill. I've never changed a watch battery. Last week my watch stopped working so I Googled how to change the batter, ordered a new battery and then followed the directions and changed the battery. This works for a lot of things in life.

I haven't read all of these but at 15 I started teaching my child to make her own dr appointments and request and make refills of meds (depression meds). She's over 20 now and the practice of doing that made it seamless when she had to go to college and be responsible for it.

Learning how to get places with a map and google maps.

Swimming and riding a bicycle are helpful too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are a foster mom, besides taking care of the kids, what would you teach them so that they are better equipped when they leave you?

If you are a foster mom, I would focus the most on helping them understand they are loved, worthy, etc. if they’ve had multiple placements this might not come naturally and truly the rest of the skills are fairly moot without it. Then in addition help on some basic executive function stuff - how to prioritize, pick out important information, plan, and execute. But #1 is the first part.

Kudos to PP and OP for taking on the challenge of foster parenting.

You've gotten some good suggestions, and I was going to add calendaring, planning, and organization to the original list. I think that mastering the mundane tasks of daily living helps with confidence and feelings of self-worth. The hardest thing for young people to learn, but especially those who are disadvantaged, is how each decision we make in the now has repercussions for the future. The more loved and worthy you feel, the more likely you are to delay gratification and make good decisions. For a child whose world is out of control, learning individual skills promotes stability in the areas within that child's control and hopefully, helps to shape a self image as a worthy and capable human being. You have to start small. Once you feel like you have mastered the basics of day to day living, step by step, then you can examine the big picture to figure out where to go. But if each day is chaos beyond your control, the future will remain completely out of focus.

Thanks to all who are willing to help young people in need.