Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM with a tidy house.

My kids don’t trash the house. We clean as we go. Done with cars? Pick them up. Done with blocks? Pick them up.

We are also out of the house a lot, which means we don’t need to clean as much.

I clean while they play. I fold laundry and watch tv at the end of the day. I rest during nap, so I’m ready for the afternoon.

That cleaning technique only works when they play with one toy and move onto another so it’s easy to say clean up x before you continue with y.

A recent example of mine is kids making a cargo ship out of the playroom couch. It needs a kitchen so they arrange all the food on the ottoman. A band will be playing on the ship so out come the instruments and stuffed animal performers. Don’t forget to grab the tinker toys to make the ship’s steering wheel! Rolling toys are arranged in a pattern on the floor to form the edges of the ship. We all ride on the couch as the ship chefs serve fine meals.

It can be quite a mess by the end of the day.

PP and I don’t really let them play like that, unless we are rained or snowed in. They’re outside playing like that but not in my living room!

Like what? Kids? I think it's fantastic that PP kids made a cargo ship and used their imaginations to such great lengths. I wish you allowed your children to do the same.

The nanny is getting paid. She considers it part of her job to leave a clean space, and I imagine that's part of why you like her working for you. When I was a teenage babysitter, I considered it part of my job to clean up, and I often left a house cleaner than it was when I found it. (I was always overbooked!)

If it really bugs you, maybe there are habits you can put in place to keep a cleaner house despite the kids? My house is definitely messier than it was before I had mine (it was spotless before), but i'm busier now. (full time job plus kid and sole responsibility for a house and yard.) I do what I can to keep it neat and I accept what I don't have time to do. I set aside little pockets of time to do what I can, focusing on what bugs me the most.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM with a tidy house.

My kids don’t trash the house. We clean as we go. Done with cars? Pick them up. Done with blocks? Pick them up.

We are also out of the house a lot, which means we don’t need to clean as much.

I clean while they play. I fold laundry and watch tv at the end of the day. I rest during nap, so I’m ready for the afternoon.

That cleaning technique only works when they play with one toy and move onto another so it’s easy to say clean up x before you continue with y.

A recent example of mine is kids making a cargo ship out of the playroom couch. It needs a kitchen so they arrange all the food on the ottoman. A band will be playing on the ship so out come the instruments and stuffed animal performers. Don’t forget to grab the tinker toys to make the ship’s steering wheel! Rolling toys are arranged in a pattern on the floor to form the edges of the ship. We all ride on the couch as the ship chefs serve fine meals.

It can be quite a mess by the end of the day.

My house sounds like your house. I think the kids pull out all these things to create bigger scheme play because we let them. My kids would build a magnatile parking lot, then pull out the matchbox cars, then the wooden blocks to make a building adjacent to the parking lot, then they need a train track to the next city. Some parents don’t allow this kind of play. Benefit to our kids—greater creativity. Downside for our kids—mess and chaos and an exhausted parent. Not saying one way is better than the other—I used to think my way was better, but now my kids are a little older and it’s still hard to get them to clean up when they’re done. But they sure do have some amazing ideas

My kids are the same. The rug with the streets and ponds on it needs a neighborhood, which needs all the friends to come live in it, which requires the blocks to build schools, which requires the train station, which requires a zoo.....etc. I used to play like that as a kid, so I'm loving it, even though it's a pain to clean up at night.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM with a tidy house.

My kids don’t trash the house. We clean as we go. Done with cars? Pick them up. Done with blocks? Pick them up.

We are also out of the house a lot, which means we don’t need to clean as much.

I clean while they play. I fold laundry and watch tv at the end of the day. I rest during nap, so I’m ready for the afternoon.

That cleaning technique only works when they play with one toy and move onto another so it’s easy to say clean up x before you continue with y.

A recent example of mine is kids making a cargo ship out of the playroom couch. It needs a kitchen so they arrange all the food on the ottoman. A band will be playing on the ship so out come the instruments and stuffed animal performers. Don’t forget to grab the tinker toys to make the ship’s steering wheel! Rolling toys are arranged in a pattern on the floor to form the edges of the ship. We all ride on the couch as the ship chefs serve fine meals.

It can be quite a mess by the end of the day.

PP and I don’t really let them play like that, unless we are rained or snowed in. They’re outside playing like that but not in my living room!

Anonymous wrote:I have a 6mo and a 2yo. On days I'm alone with them, by the end of the day the house is trashed, I'm exhausted, and all I've accomplished is keeping everyone happy, fed, and hopefully food picked up along the way.

When the nanny has them all day, I come home to a spotless house, fresh made baby food, bruschetta made from tomatoes she picked from our garden, and my laundry folded (many of these tasks are above and beyond what we ask of her). It's AMAZING. How does she / some caregivers (whether parents or nannies) accomplish so much?!? I honestly can't comprehend it

Happy, healthy, and fed kids is something to be proud of, OP. That's a lot to accomplish in one day and more than some parents, so don't beat yourself up about it! I was a nanny for a few years and always left the home in a similar manner to what you describe, but it's because it wasn't my home and I wanted to be respectful of my employers space. It doesn't mean the house wasn't messy before the kids went down for nap, but I didn't take "down time" during nap time like I do now as a mother myself. That's my time to relax, do things I enjoy, or just sit in the quiet. As a paid employee, I did not feel it was appropriate to take downtime as I wouldn't take a few hours to watch TV if I were in an office working. As a mother, that downtime keeps me sane and balanced and a better Mom when my kids wake up.

Don't listen to these "i'm so organized and my life is so put together and I'd never let my kids trash my house" posters. Your kids are happy and healthy so who cares if your house isn't spotless?

As children we were taught by our SAHM that we could not play with a different toy or game until the previous one was picked up and put away. 3 kids within 4 years and my mom's house was always neat and tidy. I have the same habits today and taught them to my own kid. Plus, as a single mom, I must be organized to life simply doesn't work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could do all that too if I got to clock out at closing time and go home to my quiet empty apartment.

No, you couldn't. There is no excuse for a house to be trashed at the end of the day. This happens because OP allows her child to both make and leave messes all over the house. Also, OP is not organized and has no one to blame but herself. I was a a SAH for ten years, with zero help except a cleaning woman who came in every other week. I never had a trashed house. I made a menu every week and stuck to it with grocery shopping once a week. So did every woman I knew whether they worked or stayed home. It is nothing more than a matter of being organized.

This.

I’m the PP with the smiley face and I’m not entirely sure what you’re referring to. I’m a SAHM of three under seven, I cook from scratch and my house is tidy before I go to bed, but it’s sure as heck not spotless at 6pm! (It’s not trashed either, but there are always half a dozen things the baby left in weird places even if I follow her around the house picking them up, which I don’t, because that’s dumb. Easier to tidy after they go to bed. And of course the big ones are in charge of picking up after themselves.) Sometimes I fold my laundry at 9pm while talking to my husband! My point was that I take my downtime throughout the day as it’s available. If I got a solid chunk of downtime at the end of the day, it would be a lot easier to be “on” all dat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could do all that too if I got to clock out at closing time and go home to my quiet empty apartment.

No, you couldn't. There is no excuse for a house to be trashed at the end of the day. This happens because OP allows her child to both make and leave messes all over the house. Also, OP is not organized and has no one to blame but herself. I was a a SAH for ten years, with zero help except a cleaning woman who came in every other week. I never had a trashed house. I made a menu every week and stuck to it with grocery shopping once a week. So did every woman I knew whether they worked or stayed home. It is nothing more than a matter of being organized.

This.

Anonymous wrote:I could do all that too if I got to clock out at closing time and go home to my quiet empty apartment.

No, you couldn't. There is no excuse for a house to be trashed at the end of the day. This happens because OP allows her child to both make and leave messes all over the house. Also, OP is not organized and has no one to blame but herself. I was a a SAH for ten years, with zero help except a cleaning woman who came in every other week. I never had a trashed house. I made a menu every week and stuck to it with grocery shopping once a week. So did every woman I knew whether they worked or stayed home. It is nothing more than a matter of being organized.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You probably have poor time management, and parenting skills.

Omg get outta here. Op hopefully you know well enough to ignore this. I think the former nanny’s are spot on. It’s different when it’s you job during the day and then you go home. Enjoy it when she’s there and just enjoy your kids and don’t worry about it when she’s not (Also your nanny sounds amazing..)

Yeah I’m not so sure about this. The nanny doesn’t have any more TIME at the house than OP does. 8-9 hours is 8-9 hours.

Anonymous wrote:I have a 6mo and a 2yo. On days I'm alone with them, by the end of the day the house is trashed, I'm exhausted, and all I've accomplished is keeping everyone happy, fed, and hopefully food picked up along the way.

When the nanny has them all day, I come home to a spotless house, fresh made baby food, bruschetta made from tomatoes she picked from our garden, and my laundry folded (many of these tasks are above and beyond what we ask of her). It's AMAZING. How does she / some caregivers (whether parents or nannies) accomplish so much?!? I honestly can't comprehend it

She is organized. You, obviously, are not!

There should be at least 2-3 hours of naps or quiet time a day. This is when you pick from the garden and start dinner

Your kids need to pick up. It’s not complicated. If they refuse to clean up then simply tell them you’ll throw the toy or toys out and do it.

Have groceries delivered in the morning if you need stuff for dinner

Anonymous wrote:You probably have poor time management, and parenting skills.

Omg get outta here. Op hopefully you know well enough to ignore this. I think the former nanny’s are spot on. It’s different when it’s you job during the day and then you go home. Enjoy it when she’s there and just enjoy your kids and don’t worry about it when she’s not (Also your nanny sounds amazing..)

Different skills. Your DD will learn skills from you, but maybe they will be different skills. Point is, you have strengths. Your nanny has strengths. Appreciate them! Appreciate them in her rather than having this downer be about you.

You probably have poor time management, and parenting skills.