Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:58     Subject: I wish I wasn’t a parent
Op what most of the young parents out there don’t understand is that kids need and love boundaries. Don’t be afraid to set them ok? Don’t tolerate screaming and being spoken to poorly. Those actions get a consequence. The behavior will stop and it won’t be that hard. But reign it in. Use a firm voice. Wishing you love and patience.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:55     Subject: Re:I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I thought my almost 4 year old was the only one like that. She can be a terror and I am exhausted by her moods and behavior. I hope this is somehow all temporary. When I come from work, when she is not in a good mood, she tells me: " Goodbye" and wants me to leave the house. Do all 4 year old behave like that? We eat healthy, don't go to any fast food places, and try to spend a lot of time with her.


I have three children, now grown, and they never acted like this at any age. Perhaps she is simply a spoiled brat.


Well pin a rose on your nose


Oh my gosh, that made me laugh.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:51     Subject: I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1) OP are you a mom or dad?

2) Who is with your child when you are at work?


I’m a mom. She is in full time preschool (a great one that we love!) while we are both at work



Have you asked the teachers if she behaves st school? And told them you are experiencing challenges at home and are wondering if they are mirrored at school ... where do you live? I took some great parenting classes at that age - also download and read the explosive child - you have to get past the title - it’s a great book for challenging kids


Oh yeah, she’s mostly great at school... occasionally some self control issues (mostly crying) but sounds like she’s much better at school vs home.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:48     Subject: I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Four year olds are hard but don’t give up - you need to regain control. Establish expectations for behavior and start working towards those behavioral goals. We use time outs, it’s worked well for us. Put in your ear pods if you have to so you can drown out the screaming but make it clear that is not acceptable behavior. We also do a lot of incentives for positive behavior vs punishment and that has worked well. Sticker charts or even something as simple as a gummy bear have helped our child work towards better behavior. We cut out tv and iPads except for very special circumstances not because I am anti screen time (I think some is fine) but for our daughter it led to tantrums and bad behavior so cutting it off helped. Last things we focus on is sleep and healthy eating.

That was a bit of a random brain dump but it’s worked for us, bottom line is you can’t give up. You can change her bahavior and it’ll lead to a much more peaceful life. All of this is assuming their isn’t any underlying issues and she’s just a normal wild kid.


Thanks. I’m also not anti screen time but iPad accessibility has gotten too lenient... tomorrow I take it back for work. We need to be stricter, in sure. She just not an easy going kid and we have to come to terms with that.


NP here. I get it. My kid has always been a challenge. Screentime turns him into a monster - when the screens go away he becomes lovely and wonderful and sweet and then the screens come back and he’s a monster again. Sigh. Maybe take all screens away for 2 weeks and see what happens?

Also, Parenting the Strongwilled Child by Rex Forehand was a godsend for me. I did all the skills, one chapter at a time, one skip per week, and omg by the 3rd week I had a different kid. https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child-Clinically-Six-Year-Olds/dp/0071667822/ref=nodl_
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:36     Subject: I wish I wasn’t a parent
That's how I feel about my DS6 who has ADHD (and other issues). He drives me mad to the point of daily regret, so I am working on my own reactions to his behavior: trying not to be embarrassed of him, ashamed of how far behind he has always been, ignoring his irritating behaviors and obsessions, etc.

Hugs, OP. I get it!
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:16     Subject: I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:My 3.5 year old DD is a huge pain the ass. Huge. Just giving hugs


My 3 year old is also out of control.

Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:16     Subject: I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:Four year olds are hard but don’t give up - you need to regain control. Establish expectations for behavior and start working towards those behavioral goals. We use time outs, it’s worked well for us. Put in your ear pods if you have to so you can drown out the screaming but make it clear that is not acceptable behavior. We also do a lot of incentives for positive behavior vs punishment and that has worked well. Sticker charts or even something as simple as a gummy bear have helped our child work towards better behavior. We cut out tv and iPads except for very special circumstances not because I am anti screen time (I think some is fine) but for our daughter it led to tantrums and bad behavior so cutting it off helped. Last things we focus on is sleep and healthy eating.

That was a bit of a random brain dump but it’s worked for us, bottom line is you can’t give up. You can change her bahavior and it’ll lead to a much more peaceful life. All of this is assuming their isn’t any underlying issues and she’s just a normal wild kid.


Thanks. I’m also not anti screen time but iPad accessibility has gotten too lenient... tomorrow I take it back for work. We need to be stricter, in sure. She just not an easy going kid and we have to come to terms with that.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:15     Subject: I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:1) OP are you a mom or dad?

2) Who is with your child when you are at work?


I’m a mom. She is in full time preschool (a great one that we love!) while we are both at work



Have you asked the teachers if she behaves st school? And told them you are experiencing challenges at home and are wondering if they are mirrored at school ... where do you live? I took some great parenting classes at that age - also download and read the explosive child - you have to get past the title - it’s a great book for challenging kids
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:12     Subject: I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:My 3.5 year old DD is a huge pain the ass. Huge. Just giving hugs


Thank you.
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:10     Subject: Re:I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I thought my almost 4 year old was the only one like that. She can be a terror and I am exhausted by her moods and behavior. I hope this is somehow all temporary. When I come from work, when she is not in a good mood, she tells me: " Goodbye" and wants me to leave the house. Do all 4 year old behave like that? We eat healthy, don't go to any fast food places, and try to spend a lot of time with her.


I have three children, now grown, and they never acted like this at any age. Perhaps she is simply a spoiled brat.


You’re so old you’ve probably forgotten. Go back to knitting in your rocker, Grandma.


NP here - but that was rude. Four is actually the co-operative age, when kids want to be helpful so I think it's unusual for the OP's child. My two were sweet at age four. However all kids are different so hopefully it's just temporary and OP gets the co-operative behaviour later at age five.
Hopefully a passing phase OP!
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:10     Subject: I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:Also, does she have a diagnosis?


Of what? Being a pain in the ass?
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:10     Subject: Re:I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I thought my almost 4 year old was the only one like that. She can be a terror and I am exhausted by her moods and behavior. I hope this is somehow all temporary. When I come from work, when she is not in a good mood, she tells me: " Goodbye" and wants me to leave the house. Do all 4 year old behave like that? We eat healthy, don't go to any fast food places, and try to spend a lot of time with her.


I have three children, now grown, and they never acted like this at any age. Perhaps she is simply a spoiled brat.


How sad that you are their parent
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:09     Subject: Re:I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I thought my almost 4 year old was the only one like that. She can be a terror and I am exhausted by her moods and behavior. I hope this is somehow all temporary. When I come from work, when she is not in a good mood, she tells me: " Goodbye" and wants me to leave the house. Do all 4 year old behave like that? We eat healthy, don't go to any fast food places, and try to spend a lot of time with her.


I have three children, now grown, and they never acted like this at any age. Perhaps she is simply a spoiled brat.


Well pin a rose on your nose
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:08     Subject: I wish I wasn’t a parent
Anonymous wrote:1) OP are you a mom or dad?

2) Who is with your child when you are at work?


I’m a mom. She is in full time preschool (a great one that we love!) while we are both at work
Anonymous
Post 09/29/2019 22:07     Subject: I wish I wasn’t a parent
Motherhood: It’s the only job you’re not allowed to quit.

I should have that embroidered on a stupid throw pillow.
People who have easy kids have no clue.