I’m 44 and have a massive crush on a friend who is 13 years older. As much as I like him, I wouldn’t pursue it because we’re in completely different places. I have little kids at home and am mid-career. He’s starting to plan his retirement. I see him starting to have health issues (nothing major, just typical aging stuff).

Anonymous wrote:Like PP said, have fun but don’t get serious. Caregiving aside, men generally lose energy as they get older while women gain it. Even a gap of just a few years can be frustrating.

Not frustrating, but it makes life a bit more complicate when you get older. My DH is 7 years old. He's going to be ready to retire in a few years. Me? I gotta keep going because of health insurance. He wants to travel, but I'll still be working, purely because of the health insurance.

Anonymous wrote:I have been friendly for a man who is 20 years older.

I am 30 he’s 50.

How bad is this? honestly, I’m attracted to him in so many ways!

Men- have you dated someone half your age?

You do you. I can't imagine being attracted to someone much older. It makes my stomach queasy.

Anonymous wrote:Like PP said, have fun but don’t get serious. Caregiving aside, men generally lose energy as they get older while women gain it. Even a gap of just a few years can be frustrating.

So true. My DH and I are both 48. I have a ton of energy, I work out daily, etc. He's ready to crash by 8pm, has gained a lot of weight, is pushing himself to work out twice a week. Just very different energy levels.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, hot.

You'll get different answers from men and women. The above quote is male advice.

As you are only asking the men the answer will be yes, go for it, date him, sleep with him. I'm sure you are not naive enough to know the reason why this is.

Female advice you quoted here. You like who you like and age is but one factor. Enjoy yourself and don’t worry what other people think.

Immature advice.

Females will tell you that at 45-60 what you want out of life and that particular stage in life will be very different to a much older partner. If this doesn't bother you so be it but it is something to consider. If he ages well you may be ok but he won't have the energy or stamina you have. At 55 you may still be keen to travel and go out and at 75 perhaps his travelling days may be over.

I have often heard that when the female is younger it's all good, it's in her mid life to older years that the difference will be felt. At the end of the day if you are really compatible and deeply in love then go for it, otherwise it is something to consider. It's not about what other people think, it's about how you want to live your life and thinking of your elder years and what you want out of them because at your 70 he will likely be dead. How will you feel going into those elder years alone?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a dear friend who was 15-20 years younger than her husband and married him when she was 30. When he was 65 he was an old 65 and looked 75+ and acted it. When he was 75 he was infirm and died a couple of years later. So when she was in her prime from 45-60 she was married to a very old man. But she loved him so who knows but she really missed so many wonderful years.

1. Maybe she didn't think he "looked 75"
2. Women are not "in their prime" from 45-60 (she was an old woman married to an older man, and therefore so what)
3. "she really missed so many wonderful years" -- she thought her years with him were wonderful so she missed nothing

PP - she loved him but she said the last 15 years were very difficult. And she did say that all of a sudden he seemed very old at 65 when she was about 50.

Anonymous wrote:I'm mid-50s. I've dated a few mid-20s law students. I found them to be more interesting and mature than women my age. One of them I could have seen being with long-term.

Lol! You mean they agree with YOU on everything?

Creeeeepy.

Describe yourself- active? Fit with a slamming figure? Slightly pudgy? Pretty or a knockout/ plain? Career oriented? Date often and plenty of attention from men your age or a couple of years younger/older? Hardly date? Introvert/extrovert? No harm in getting to know him better and dating. Most boyfriends don’t become husbands.

Just keep in mind that he will probably have ED and stamina issues when you are in your sexual prime. If good sex is not important to you, it should be fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a dear friend who was 15-20 years younger than her husband and married him when she was 30. When he was 65 he was an old 65 and looked 75+ and acted it. When he was 75 he was infirm and died a couple of years later. So when she was in her prime from 45-60 she was married to a very old man. But she loved him so who knows but she really missed so many wonderful years.

1. Maybe she didn't think he "looked 75"
2. Women are not "in their prime" from 45-60 (she was an old woman married to an older man, and therefore so what)
3. "she really missed so many wonderful years" -- she thought her years with him were wonderful so she missed nothing

Lol, a woman 45-60 is not an old woman.

Anonymous wrote:I have a dear friend who was 15-20 years younger than her husband and married him when she was 30. When he was 65 he was an old 65 and looked 75+ and acted it. When he was 75 he was infirm and died a couple of years later. So when she was in her prime from 45-60 she was married to a very old man. But she loved him so who knows but she really missed so many wonderful years.

1. Maybe she didn't think he "looked 75"
2. Women are not "in their prime" from 45-60 (she was an old woman married to an older man, and therefore so what)
3. "she really missed so many wonderful years" -- she thought her years with him were wonderful so she missed nothing

I have a dear friend who was 15-20 years younger than her husband and married him when she was 30. When he was 65 he was an old 65 and looked 75+ and acted it. When he was 75 he was infirm and died a couple of years later. So when she was in her prime from 45-60 she was married to a very old man. But she loved him so who knows but she really missed so many wonderful years.

Anonymous wrote:Have a fling but don't marry. My sister did this and she is now a nursemaid to a man with advanced Parkinsons and she is beyond miserable.

I know someone who died recently from Parkinsons at age 85. His wife is 20 years younger. Until he was 83 he was very active and they traveled all over, played golf, and went hiking. She took great care of him for 2 years and when he died he left her a nice house and a couple of million.

Maybe he should have stayed single, spent his money on himself until he was 83, and left the 2 million to a random home health care aid?

I'm mid-50s. I've dated a few mid-20s law students. I found them to be more interesting and mature than women my age. One of them I could have seen being with long-term.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:yes, hot.

You'll get different answers from men and women. The above quote is male advice.

As you are only asking the men the answer will be yes, go for it, date him, sleep with him. I'm sure you are not naive enough to know the reason why this is.

Female advice you quoted here. You like who you like and age is but one factor. Enjoy yourself and don’t worry what other people think.