Anonymous
09/28/2019 11:39
Subject: I am so envious...
Anonymous wrote:Why do you need a sitter? Errands? Dinner date? I was a SAHM , my DH traveled every week and I never needed my parents to watch the kids EVERY weekend. For the record, I never grocery shopped alone. I would joke that I could only go to a store that had carts to hoild the kids who were 17 months apart.
Reasons why one might need a sitter:
--To go to work. Very few jobs will allow you to bring kids along
--To go to the gynecologist, dentist, or other necessary appointment where you can't just tend to your kid while the doctor is working on you.
--To go on a date with your spouse. Quality time with your spouse is important.
Anonymous
09/28/2019 11:31
Subject: I am so envious...
Why do you need a sitter? Errands? Dinner date? I was a SAHM , my DH traveled every week and I never needed my parents to watch the kids EVERY weekend. For the record, I never grocery shopped alone. I would joke that I could only go to a store that had carts to hoild the kids who were 17 months apart.
Anonymous
09/28/2019 10:42
Subject: I am so envious...
Anonymous wrote:I am not a jealous person and I wouldn’t want to trade lives with anyone. But I am SO envious of people who have close by family help that is actually helpful. I hope those of you who have this realize just how unbelievably lucky you are. My parents are a 4 hour plane ride away and my siblings are about that far. We have a great after school nanny who we love, but it’s just not the same. What I wouldn’t give to just be able to drop my kids off at their grandparents for a few hours every weekend....Sadly our jobs are here and we aren’t moving to where they are and they are not moving here...
Anyway, just a Friday afternoon vent. What’s your parenting envy?
I'm with you on this.
I have a relative with 4 kids that NEVER paid for any type of child care. The youngest is in college now. She and her husband both worked full time, but had a relative that would watch her kids for free. She and her husband still went on dinner dates, occasional weekends away, etc. and always had a relative available to watch the kids. ONE time there was a family wedding to go to, and the relatives on the other side of the family weren't available...she was still able to get a very close family friend (my grandparents next door neighbor of over 40 years) to watch the kids.
I'm jealous.
Anonymous
09/28/2019 09:10
Subject: I am so envious...
Anonymous wrote:I am not a jealous person and I wouldn’t want to trade lives with anyone. But I am SO envious of people who have close by family help that is actually helpful. I hope those of you who have this realize just how unbelievably lucky you are. My parents are a 4 hour plane ride away and my siblings are about that far. We have a great after school nanny who we love, but it’s just not the same. What I wouldn’t give to just be able to drop my kids off at their grandparents for a few hours every weekend....Sadly our jobs are here and we aren’t moving to where they are and they are not moving here...
Anyway, just a Friday afternoon vent. What’s your parenting envy?
Why do you think your parents vshould give you free babysitting?
Anonymous
09/28/2019 08:43
Subject: Re:I am so envious...
Anonymous wrote:A four hour flight isn't bad at all. And it's what, like an hour or two time difference? The quickest I can get to my parents who are approx 9,000 miles and 9 timezones away from me is about a 36 hour journey involving multiple flights.
Np here. It's not a contest. Four hours isn't easy for everyone and may be cost prohibitive. Let's be kinder to each other.
Anonymous
09/28/2019 08:32
Subject: Re:I am so envious...
Anonymous wrote:Given that I spend $18k/yr per kid on day care and can't afford a regular sitter on top, I envy people with free family childcare. That's so, so huge.
You are assuming family will automatically provide free childcare. That isn’t the case for us. We visit family locally, and occasionally they will babysit, but other than that we need a sitter. Since we can’t afford a sitter, we do not go out. Don’t assume local family means free childcare or weekly date nights.
Anonymous
09/27/2019 21:47
Subject: Re:I am so envious...
Given that I spend $18k/yr per kid on day care and can't afford a regular sitter on top, I envy people with free family childcare. That's so, so huge.
Anonymous
09/27/2019 21:44
Subject: I am so envious...
I'm in DC and my family are in Hawaii. One 2-week vacay a year is all we get. My kid wont even know her family. So sad.
Anonymous
09/27/2019 21:30
Subject: I am so envious...
Anonymous wrote:I am not a jealous person and I wouldn’t want to trade lives with anyone. But I am SO envious of people who have close by family help that is actually helpful. I hope those of you who have this realize just how unbelievably lucky you are. My parents are a 4 hour plane ride away and my siblings are about that far. We have a great after school nanny who we love, but it’s just not the same. What I wouldn’t give to just be able to drop my kids off at their grandparents for a few hours every weekend....Sadly our jobs are here and we aren’t moving to where they are and they are not moving here...
Anyway, just a Friday afternoon vent. What’s your parenting envy?
I’m envious you have a nanny!
Anonymous
09/27/2019 21:00
Subject: Re:I am so envious...
Anonymous wrote:A four hour flight isn't bad at all. And it's what, like an hour or two time difference? The quickest I can get to my parents who are approx 9,000 miles and 9 timezones away from me is about a 36 hour journey involving multiple flights.
+100. My parents live in Asia and to me, 4 hours is nothing at all. OP, your parents can visit easily and so can you. For us, it’s this epic trip and we have to save big time for it.
A lot of posters talked about babysitters. For me, it’s more than that. I love seeing the interactions between my parents and kids.
Anonymous
09/27/2019 16:45
Subject: I am so envious...
Anonymous wrote:My inlaws are local and completely disinterested. So there’s that.
Same here. Still hurts though.
Anonymous
09/27/2019 16:01
Subject: I am so envious...
My SIL gets free babysitting from the grandparents, but it comes with lots of strings and judgment. No, I’m not envious.
Anonymous
09/27/2019 15:53
Subject: I am so envious...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am not a jealous person and I wouldn’t want to trade lives with anyone. But I am SO envious of people who have close by family help that is actually helpful. I hope those of you who have this realize just how unbelievably lucky you are. My parents are a 4 hour plane ride away and my siblings are about that far. We have a great after school nanny who we love, but it’s just not the same. What I wouldn’t give to just be able to drop my kids off at their grandparents for a few hours every weekend....Sadly our jobs are here and we aren’t moving to where they are and they are not moving here...
Anyway, just a Friday afternoon vent. What’s your parenting envy?
Not lucky, we have to live in this area, which is a disgusting cost of living, and full of close minded individuals and success obsessed helicopter parents. We came from Memphis, and would much prefer to be back in a that climate, that diversity, that cost of living. But our parents need us here.
Sounds like you need a new community. Yeah, it's expensive, but my community is full of open minded, caring people, some of whom are very successful but incredibly modest, the rest of us are in the middle. Unless you are really struggling, you can probably live a little smaller to mitigate the COL.
Anonymous
09/27/2019 15:48
Subject: Re:I am so envious...
A four hour flight isn't bad at all. And it's what, like an hour or two time difference? The quickest I can get to my parents who are approx 9,000 miles and 9 timezones away from me is about a 36 hour journey involving multiple flights.
Anonymous
09/27/2019 15:38
Subject: I am so envious...
My inlaws are local and completely disinterested. So there’s that.