Anonymous wrote:Op, they go but you can not be unhappy if they want to study or generally do not want to do what you think they should do.

And you take internet connectivity into consideration. You choose where to go based on it working for them too.

So this is basically what we decided. I told them I expect them to join us for at least dinner every day and otherwise they can do what they want.
It is a fine line between keeping everyone happy on vacation and teaching them the world doesn’t revolve around them. Thanks for the input.

Anonymous wrote:OP, is this a blended family? It seems odd that there is a 10 year gap between the two oldest and the two youngest. If this is the case, I think you need to look closely at the family dynamics and whether the older teens feel their needs are being met.

Not a blended family. Just started young and finished old.

OP, is this a blended family? It seems odd that there is a 10 year gap between the two oldest and the two youngest. If this is the case, I think you need to look closely at the family dynamics and whether the older teens feel their needs are being met.

Op, they go but you can not be unhappy if they want to study or generally do not want to do what you think they should do.

And you take internet connectivity into consideration. You choose where to go based on it working for them too.

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask them what it will take for them to go? Can they stay at the villa and do homework some of the days?

We took a beach vacation at the end of the summer with my high school senior - we agreed he could stay at the house as long as he wanted - some days he basically spent the whole day at home alone, but met us for dinner out, etc, other days he came to the beach with us.

This is good advice. My kids enjoy going on their family vacations, but I can imagine my junior-year daughter saying something like that this year. It doesn't mean she doesn't like us, it just means she's busy, and I personally always need a day or two to acclimate after a vacation -- nothing to me is as restful as being home -- so I get it. So approach it cooperatively. Say you understand and you want to talk it through to figure if there is a good solution. And if they really want to stay home, find a grandparent, let it go, and find another time they want to go on a vacation with you, maybe over the summer.

Don't force kids who don't want to go on vacation to go- if there is a relative to leave them with.
Why waste the money?
Plus, they want to do well in school and get some rest. Good reasons.

Separate family vacations are ok. It gives you quality time with each kid.
-mom of 4

Your kids have been on too many vacations. This time, everyone stays home and cleans the garage.

OP, maybe mine are weird too, but they stopped wanting to go on vacation in early high school. It wasn't about schoolwork or how cool the location was, they wanted to have that free time to hang out with their friends and decide their own fates. They are 10th and 12th grades now - we're talking about what to do for their fall break and they've heaved such hugh sighs about going that I'm thinking of scrapping the whole idea. I feel you.

Can you ask them what it will take for them to go? Can they stay at the villa and do homework some of the days?

We took a beach vacation at the end of the summer with my high school senior - we agreed he could stay at the house as long as he wanted - some days he basically spent the whole day at home alone, but met us for dinner out, etc, other days he came to the beach with us.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why many on this site seem to have the need to travel for every school break. Downtime is needed.

We travel during Spring Break because it spreads out our family vacations, my parents over Spring Break, DH parents over summer break. We also travel because if we didn't DS would attend a Spring Break camp and he likes the summer camp options better then the Spring Break camps. We have a younger kid who cannot stay home alone. Maybe we won't travel over Spring Break when he gets a bit older and can stay home by himself, at least there won't be the same camp reason, but he seems to enjoy the time visiting family and running around Southern California for a week.

To answer questions - we are doing a staffed villa in Jamaica. Two to a room. No chores. Is it geared towards the younger kids? I suppose on some level but I thought this was a good compromise. Younger are 4 and 6 so we didn't think something like Europe would appeal to them, so I guess the destination was chosen with them in mind. They may not enjoy the noise of the younger kids, but they aren't expected to babysit them or anything.
I am considering letting them stay home but it makes me sad. We only have one year possibly left. We can't travel in the summer due to schedules, so this would be the first full family trip in about two years. I also do understand it's a really busy time for high schoolers, particularly the juniors. We never vacationed growing up, and I always wanted to do something, so I guess I'm a bit baffled.

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why many on this site seem to have the need to travel for every school break. Downtime is needed.

So they can tell everyone else and post on Instagram.

I don't understand why many on this site seem to have the need to travel for every school break. Downtime is needed.

I was worried about this over the summer because it was our first vacation that oldest child did not come on due to a summer internship. Would younger child be unhappy just hanging out with mom and dad for a whole week? No..she busied herself with creating an on-line phot album of the trip and also was in charge of the navigation on her phone. We did really focus on things that we thought would engage her, foods she enjoys etc.

Anonymous wrote:My kids love to vacation with us. I agree - it’s not studying. Either they think your plans are lame or they have other plans.

Maybe a mix. If they are home with supervision and would rather do a mix of study and hang with friends, so what?


Maybe this family does vacations oriented toward the younger ones, or sleeping in 4kids in a hotel room isn’t their thing?

Mom, if your kids are reasonable kids, I’d give them this and enjoy a vacay oriented toward the younger ones.