Anonymous wrote:My kids have started saying similar things when they come home from college. THe problem with the suggestions to 'go get cupcakes, go to a movie," is that honestly there isn't that much money left after paying for college for two kids at the same time. We honestly can't afford to entertain the kids that much when they come home.

We can't really afford to entertain ourselves that much either -- I see events at the museums, etc. that would be fun for my DH and me to do as a couple, but they're not in the budget right now.

In other words, part of the reason we're boring is that we're poor. (People do things on screens because it doesn't cost any money. That's the same reason that poor people watch a lot of TV.)

Other than board games, what are some things that we can do to get out of a rut that won't break the bank?

I go for a drive with one of my teen DDs. Not for some big errand; just a fun drive. We chat about all sorts of philosophical things. Sometimes it's a destination (Sephora for ONE item, or the gluten-free bakery) but never an errand.

That only works with one DD. My other teen is too athletic. We hike or walk the dog, and I've learned to shut up because she just wants to regurgitate her day and complain (in a fun way, though). It's not really a dialog as whenever I say anything, she accuses me of "cutting her off" and "she's not finished" LOL

For a game, there is one called Azul that is pretty easy. I think the trick with games is they have to be easy (fast) to learn, and not take a long time to win/lose. The other trick is to learn the game yourself first, so when you get them to the table, you can tell them what to do and you don't have to figure it out together.

Anonymous wrote:This is so useful. We do not have much time on weeknights due to late sports practices and games on the weekend. I feel the time slipping away.

The child is happy, though.

We watched a movie during dinner last night. That was fun. It's a screen but at least we are doing it together.

When she suggests something to do, I say yes as often as I can.

Other free things:

*Kick/throw a ball around
*Free museums
*Host a potluck
*Watch a movie together. Make popcorn.
*Picnic at a lake/pond and maybe hike, too.

The DC area has lots of free events listed in the Washington Post and other places. The National Book Festival already happened, yet it's just one example of a free event that could be fun to attend as a family.

LOL. Kick/throw ball around? OP’s kid is a teenager. Are you serious?

This is so useful. We do not have much time on weeknights due to late sports practices and games on the weekend. I feel the time slipping away.

The child is happy, though.

We watched a movie during dinner last night. That was fun. It's a screen but at least we are doing it together.

When she suggests something to do, I say yes as often as I can.

Other free things:

*Kick/throw a ball around
*Free museums
*Host a potluck
*Watch a movie together. Make popcorn.
*Picnic at a lake/pond and maybe hike, too.

The DC area has lots of free events listed in the Washington Post and other places. The National Book Festival already happened, yet it's just one example of a free event that could be fun to attend as a family.

I love these parents with young kids giving parenting lessons. You have no f’king clues

Anonymous wrote:get a life. seriously. it's what a well-regarded family therapist just told me.

we, as parents of teens/pre-teens have spent over a decade working and catering to our kids. it's time to resume a life of our own and our own hobbies.
We are no longer responsible for "entertaining" our kids

make Tuesday date night, Wednesday movie night, Friday- happy hour. drag teen with you to YOUR chosen activities- not hers. if she's "bored" (like my kids), tell her she's boring and needs to entertain herself.

Plus, in my house, "bored" equals chores.

Is spending the evening on your phone a hobby?

Anonymous wrote:My kids have started saying similar things when they come home from college. THe problem with the suggestions to 'go get cupcakes, go to a movie," is that honestly there isn't that much money left after paying for college for two kids at the same time. We honestly can't afford to entertain the kids that much when they come home.

We can't really afford to entertain ourselves that much either -- I see events at the museums, etc. that would be fun for my DH and me to do as a couple, but they're not in the budget right now.

In other words, part of the reason we're boring is that we're poor. (People do things on screens because it doesn't cost any money. That's the same reason that poor people watch a lot of TV.)

Other than board games, what are some things that we can do to get out of a rut that won't break the bank?

Museums are free. So are e.g. talks at Politics & Prose and events at public libraries.

"Dance parties while you cook." Ha! My 13 yo DS would totally roll his eyes at this. But if I threatened to do it because he said I our house was boring, he might stop complaining.

For the PP who said money was an issue...instead of going out to buy cupcakes, how about making them and decorating them at home, together? So many museums in DC are free as are their special activities. Do a volunteer activity together. This may cost some money, but consider letting your teen redecorate their room.

I'm not one to think I have to entertain my kids. But I think a PP made a good point that your kids won't be in your house for much longer and you should try to enjoy being with them while you can.

Anonymous wrote:Beyond the teen snark, there is a grain of truth to my daughter's critique. We come home tired from work and retreat to our separate screens during the week. Occasionally out to dinner. She has a sport and an after-school club. We cook, sometimes together. We are older parents. Any suggestions as to how to become hipper and happier?

Put away the screens.

Spend time together. Start with Bananagrams (it's easy, fast, and fun) and find other things to do together as a family, even if it involves reading in parallel. Go out to dinner occasionally, watch a movie together from time to time, find a talk at a bookstore or visit a museum together on a weeknight every so often.

Pretend it is 1988 and there are no screens to retreat to.

Throw it back on her. Give her a budget and tell her to plan a family activity. Maybe she'll come up with something fun.

We also are on a tight budget with one finishing HS and 2 in college. Here are some things that are almost free or free that Ive done with my 3 kids 16-22 this past summer.
1.) hike
2.) play tennis at public park (we did have to get 2 more tennis rackets at Walmart but it was a one time price of 17.88 each)
3.) Tuesdays at our regal is 5 dollar night so maybe me and DD go, maybe DH and DS go, rarely all of us
4.) Free museums and pack a lunch.
5.) DD has taken up running so DH or I will try and hobble along sometimes
6.) Give the dogs a bath and wash the cars outside while grilling hotdogs.
7.) Organize our basement and various closets. All our kids are in transition and its a good time to pitch things.
8.) No 7 lead to a massive garage sale where the 5 of us split the profits..We each made 63 bucks!
7.) Happy hours make for a good 12 dollar date night with Dh. Last weekend it was happy hour and we each for a 3 dollar beer and split an appetizer = 12.59 plus 5 bucks for a tip= 17.59 for 2 hours of good conversation with my husband. Have done similar things with kids.
8.) Make errands family outings. Kids come along to grocery store, we talk, maybe we get a pizza from the hot bar and eat it on the way home. Simple things.

How old are you and your DH, OP? I mean, sure, you don't have to entertain your teens, back when I was a teen, in Europe, we could go places on our own, didn't need cars. But, here until you drive it is hard to do things if parents will not drive you. Is your dd wanting you to drive her places, does she not have many friends, and while yes, you don't need to entertain your kids, it sounds to me that your dd is expressing a desire to do something with her parents. Am I wrong?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your DC to grow up. The issue is not you, it's your DC

Wow. That's kind of something a grumpy old parent would say.

Not a great suggestion.

And also wrong. The issue is OP and he or she seems to realize that. Put the freaking screens DOWN OP (and I'm guilty of it as the next person). Plan some fun things. I know you're tired. But, even during the week do something small here and there. You have to find your joys in life and pretty soon yours will be moving out of the house. And, is this the memory you want your child to have of you??

Being perceived as old is a function of having a sedentary lifestyle, it's it's even more with age. Nobody can change preferences on TV show/movie, but anybody could adopt more active hobbies, and as PP suggests, hiking is a good start.

get a life. seriously. it's what a well-regarded family therapist just told me.

we, as parents of teens/pre-teens have spent over a decade working and catering to our kids. it's time to resume a life of our own and our own hobbies.
We are no longer responsible for "entertaining" our kids

make Tuesday date night, Wednesday movie night, Friday- happy hour. drag teen with you to YOUR chosen activities- not hers. if she's "bored" (like my kids), tell her she's boring and needs to entertain herself.

Plus, in my house, "bored" equals chores.

Anonymous wrote:My kids have started saying similar things when they come home from college. THe problem with the suggestions to 'go get cupcakes, go to a movie," is that honestly there isn't that much money left after paying for college for two kids at the same time. We honestly can't afford to entertain the kids that much when they come home.

We can't really afford to entertain ourselves that much either -- I see events at the museums, etc. that would be fun for my DH and me to do as a couple, but they're not in the budget right now.

In other words, part of the reason we're boring is that we're poor. (People do things on screens because it doesn't cost any money. That's the same reason that poor people watch a lot of TV.)

Other than board games, what are some things that we can do to get out of a rut that won't break the bank?

Hikes. Taking a walk together after dinner. Playing a game together. Even watching a movie together is better than everyone staring at their own screen.