Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother was like this, he willingly refused to turn in his homework even after he had completed it and brought it to school. It was defiance. The teachers threatened him with Fs and he still refused. It wasn't ADHD. He eventually was asked to leave the public high school he was going to because he had all Fs (except for PE) and had to go to the alternative high school just to graduate. Same issues in college and he flunked out.

He had major mental health issues going on. I wouldn't necessarily sweep this under the rug as ADD or ADHD.

Your first paragraph makes it sound willful but then you acknowledge major mental health issues. It is likely that testing for ADD or ADHD would also help uncover if there are any other issues happening. These types of things often travel together.

My parents did have my brother tested, extensively. He doesn't have ADHD or ADD. He has a willful defiance disorder.

So it sounds like they did get a diagnosis.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother was like this, he willingly refused to turn in his homework even after he had completed it and brought it to school. It was defiance. The teachers threatened him with Fs and he still refused. It wasn't ADHD. He eventually was asked to leave the public high school he was going to because he had all Fs (except for PE) and had to go to the alternative high school just to graduate. Same issues in college and he flunked out.

He had major mental health issues going on. I wouldn't necessarily sweep this under the rug as ADD or ADHD.

Your first paragraph makes it sound willful but then you acknowledge major mental health issues. It is likely that testing for ADD or ADHD would also help uncover if there are any other issues happening. These types of things often travel together.

My parents did have my brother tested, extensively. He doesn't have ADHD or ADD. He has a willful defiance disorder.

Anonymous wrote:Unmotivated video game addict. Hates school. But you'll send him to college anyways, won't you, mom?

I speak on good authority. They don't change.

No, you speak of your own experience, and forget that each child is different, and may need help with mental health disorders or learning disabilities.

Anonymous wrote:Unmotivated video game addict. Hates school. But you'll send him to college anyways, won't you, mom?

I speak on good authority. They don't change.

unhelpful.
so then, what do you do to fix a kid like this?

Anonymous wrote:My brother was like this, he willingly refused to turn in his homework even after he had completed it and brought it to school. It was defiance. The teachers threatened him with Fs and he still refused. It wasn't ADHD. He eventually was asked to leave the public high school he was going to because he had all Fs (except for PE) and had to go to the alternative high school just to graduate. Same issues in college and he flunked out.

He had major mental health issues going on. I wouldn't necessarily sweep this under the rug as ADD or ADHD.

Your first paragraph makes it sound willful but then you acknowledge major mental health issues. It is likely that testing for ADD or ADHD would also help uncover if there are any other issues happening. These types of things often travel together.

My brother was like this, he willingly refused to turn in his homework even after he had completed it and brought it to school. It was defiance. The teachers threatened him with Fs and he still refused. It wasn't ADHD. He eventually was asked to leave the public high school he was going to because he had all Fs (except for PE) and had to go to the alternative high school just to graduate. Same issues in college and he flunked out.

He had major mental health issues going on. I wouldn't necessarily sweep this under the rug as ADD or ADHD.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does he forget? The teacher literally says "Turn in your homework" at the beginning of class and the kids all pass it in. Seems like he's choosing not to or he goes to a school that is very different.

Some teachers just set the expectation to turn it in daily and that’s it, kid is responsible for the rest.

Both of my high school kids say the teachers ask for it. I find it highly unlikely that they all just rely upon the kids. My guess is he doesn’t want to turn it in. In our home there is no excuse for getting less than 100 on homework. It is like free money. Low hanging fruit. It can a big difference in your grade at the end especially if you don’t test well.

Unmotivated video game addict. Hates school. But you'll send him to college anyways, won't you, mom?

I speak on good authority. They don't change.

You know he does it?

Or you see him "working" and just writing crap down?

I bet he's not turning it in because he's not actually doing it. One example would be just aimlessly copying problems down, not actually doing the work to solve them.

Not an excuse ... but maybe the homework is worth so little (overall) that it won't affect the final grade much. Perhaps there are no other grades, or not many, posted yet so that is why the homework-not-turned-in is having such an affect on the current reported grade. Not that it shouldn't be turned in. Knowing it ultimately won't count for much is not the approach he should be taking, but it could be his mindset and that could be part of the problem.

My 14 yo son has severe ADHD and it used to be a huge problem years ago, but now we've drilled it into him and so far this year, he has not forgotten. He has an IEP, goes to resource, where the teacher probably also reminds him and checks his planner, etc.

I'm concerned that at 16, this has recently become a problem. Was the atmosphere a lot more directed in middle schools, but not in high school? Does he not understand the college application consequences?

Perhaps you have not made expectations clear to him. With my ADHD son, we're forced to be very hands on. If he forgets to hand in something, he knows we'll be very upset. We check grades regularly, his resource teacher gives us updates, he is willing to share... it's a team effort.

Anonymous wrote:Can he turn it in electronically? Download a pdf scanner and email the teacher the night he does it?

My son turned in math this way fairly often

Anonymous wrote:I brought this concern to my son’s 8th grade teachers and they said this was very common among 8th grade boys and raised no ADHD concerns.

I bet it happens among about 10-15% of 8th grade boys. Pretty common. I wonder what else happens that frequently

Teachers aren’t doctors. They don’t diagnose kids with adhd, even if they see the signs and symptoms.

Anonymous wrote:I brought this concern to my son’s 8th grade teachers and they said this was very common among 8th grade boys and raised no ADHD concerns.

But OPs son is 16, not 13-14. And failing classes. It’s worth considering an evaluation for ADHD. And working on procedures/habits if memory can’t be relied on.

I brought this concern to my son’s 8th grade teachers and they said this was very common among 8th grade boys and raised no ADHD concerns.