Anonymous
Post 09/30/2019 14:04     Subject: I despise bed time!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No advice OP, just know you’re not alone. My DH isn’t capable of bathing the children, brushing their teeth, or putting them in pajamas. When they wake up the morning after he does bedtime, I will find them in the clothes I had put them in the previous morning. I also don’t understand why my DH isn’t capable of performing basic hygiene for our kids, or why he will skip steps. Last night my husband did bedtime, and my toddler kept waking up and crying. When I went to his crib I noticed he had no pants and no blanket, just his day shirt and diaper on. Why yes, our child needs at least a blanket or pajamas, preferably both. I don’t understand why he doesn’t care.


Because if he continues to do a subpar job, then you'll do it for him, and that is one less parenting task he must take on.

It isn't that some of these DHs can't do it or aren't capable of it, it is that they WON'T, because then Mom will always step up to the plate.


1000x this. Mine was exactly the same. It was a never-ending cycle. He would fall apart, I'd step in to "handle" it, I would be irritated that he couldn't just figure it out, he would be mad at himself or annoyed at me for not taking it with more grace, etc. Chicken or egg. Miraculously, once he started to have to manage that stuff on his own, he did. He is about the most impatient person in the world, but once he had to step up to the plate, he didn't have another option but to just figure it out.
Anonymous
Post 09/30/2019 12:19     Subject: I despise bed time!
Anonymous wrote:No advice OP, just know you’re not alone. My DH isn’t capable of bathing the children, brushing their teeth, or putting them in pajamas. When they wake up the morning after he does bedtime, I will find them in the clothes I had put them in the previous morning. I also don’t understand why my DH isn’t capable of performing basic hygiene for our kids, or why he will skip steps. Last night my husband did bedtime, and my toddler kept waking up and crying. When I went to his crib I noticed he had no pants and no blanket, just his day shirt and diaper on. Why yes, our child needs at least a blanket or pajamas, preferably both. I don’t understand why he doesn’t care.


Because if he continues to do a subpar job, then you'll do it for him, and that is one less parenting task he must take on.

It isn't that some of these DHs can't do it or aren't capable of it, it is that they WON'T, because then Mom will always step up to the plate.
Anonymous
Post 09/30/2019 00:13     Subject: I despise bed time!
No advice OP, just know you’re not alone. My DH isn’t capable of bathing the children, brushing their teeth, or putting them in pajamas. When they wake up the morning after he does bedtime, I will find them in the clothes I had put them in the previous morning. I also don’t understand why my DH isn’t capable of performing basic hygiene for our kids, or why he will skip steps. Last night my husband did bedtime, and my toddler kept waking up and crying. When I went to his crib I noticed he had no pants and no blanket, just his day shirt and diaper on. Why yes, our child needs at least a blanket or pajamas, preferably both. I don’t understand why he doesn’t care.
Anonymous
Post 09/27/2019 13:10     Subject: Re:I despise bed time!
In our case, I (the mom) am the one who hates doing bedtime. DH has waaay more patience than me. I've found that moving bedtime up helps, and shortening the evening routine as needed so that it doesn't drag on for more than 30 minutes. Sometimes DH and I will split up bedtime so that I do the first part (reading stories) and he does the second part (toothbrushing/bathroom time). If we use a babysitter once or twice a week, we'll also try to work it out so that they're putting the kids to bed. Other thoughts: If he really hates bedtime, is there some other important task he can take over (cleaning up after dinner, folding the laundry, giving kids a bath) in lieu of bedtime?
Anonymous
Post 09/24/2019 02:12     Subject: I despise bed time!
That’s pretty sad. Bed tine is pretty basic.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2019 19:36     Subject: Re:I despise bed time!
Go back out
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2019 19:36     Subject: Re:I despise bed time!
Anonymous wrote:My DH and I are mostly on the same page with the bed time routine, if anything he is stricter on the time line then I am, but we do do things a bit differently. And that is ok. I know DH gets DS into bed with his teeth brushed and books read on time. If he does it in a different order or sings a totally different song, that is ok.

So go to your gym class and let your DH figure out the routine adjustments that work for him. It will sort itself out and it is ok for kids to have a slightly different routine. But hanging out at home and cringing when DH is doing things is not going to help. And being at home just means that your DH doesn't have to do it because he is counting on your doing it.


+1. And if you get home and kids aren't in bed ho back out.
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2019 19:34     Subject: I despise bed time!
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DH simply falls apart at bedtime. He is incapable of doing the simplist thing from teethbrushing, diapers, books, etc. My patience is wearing thin. We have talked it, but he simply cant manage. Just a vent, ugh!


Your husband wears a diaper??


Go away
Anonymous
Post 09/23/2019 08:29     Subject: Re:I despise bed time!
My DH and I are mostly on the same page with the bed time routine, if anything he is stricter on the time line then I am, but we do do things a bit differently. And that is ok. I know DH gets DS into bed with his teeth brushed and books read on time. If he does it in a different order or sings a totally different song, that is ok.

So go to your gym class and let your DH figure out the routine adjustments that work for him. It will sort itself out and it is ok for kids to have a slightly different routine. But hanging out at home and cringing when DH is doing things is not going to help. And being at home just means that your DH doesn't have to do it because he is counting on your doing it.