Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am perimenopausal and masturbate twice a day. Women are different.

Perimenopause is actually a high hormone time.

Yes and no. I think about it all the time, just no interest in my DH. Most women who end up “low libido” only feel that way in long term marriages.

This is one reason men prefer younger women

Obviously every woman is slightly different. My 59 year old wife and I have sex 4 to 5 times week although I agree I have the higher sex drive. Many women might only want it 4 or 5 times a year! At this point your to young to be doing without a regular sex life. Time for a honest talk with her.

I’m way past menopause but still love sex. Dryness is an issue so we use lube and it takes a couple of days for me to be able to do it again comfortably. Twice a week sex at 64 is pretty good though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, she isn't on pills, I am snipped. Sorry, was trying to be brief, I know sex doesn't end for good but from what I have read many women find their libido gone. Is this the age? Do I even ask? I am clueless, go easy on me

45 would be early, but....not unusual. How often do you guys talk about your intimacy?

45 isn't early at all. It's right on target for perimenopause which is when all the hormone changes start. Peri can last as many as 10 years.

Yes, menopause kills desire. Did for me. This is totally typical and natural.

Could be perimenopause at her age. Hopefully your dw is more receptive to that conversation than mine. She about bit my head off. Apparently it's a sensitive topic for some.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:However did you survive a massive two year age gap?

That is actually a relatively big gap men to women. Most men age 43 are married to women 34-41 so his wife is several years ahead of his peers, slowing down and losing libido.

Citation for this, please?

I have not found this to be true among my friends. Most are within a couple years of each other, and about even with the man or the woman being the elder of the two. A lot of my friends met when they were both in college or graduate school together, so that is why their ages are similar.

I see this too but maybe this is part of the libido gap problem. None of my friends in second marriage with younger wives complain about lack of sex, almost all of my friends who married same age women do. Perhaps a good age gap would solve this, and reduce cheating

Perhaps being a good partner would help.

Look up the symptoms that accompany menopause and see how you can accommodate them in your sex life. I'm thinking of hot flashes and vaginal dryness in particular.

You seem very sincere. I'm not here to beat up on you, but to help. Stop thinking of menopause as a mystery. There are resources that can help you. It's on you to be more creative and work with your wife to overcome these challenges.

Best of luck navigating this. Please report back if you've made any progress in the next few months. It would be helpful to others.

That would be very early for menopause, but ask her. Average age is around 51. How old are your kids? What else is going on in the relationship?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:However did you survive a massive two year age gap?

That is actually a relatively big gap men to women. Most men age 43 are married to women 34-41 so his wife is several years ahead of his peers, slowing down and losing libido.

Citation for this, please?

I have not found this to be true among my friends. Most are within a couple years of each other, and about even with the man or the woman being the elder of the two. A lot of my friends met when they were both in college or graduate school together, so that is why their ages are similar.

I see this too but maybe this is part of the libido gap problem. None of my friends in second marriage with younger wives complain about lack of sex, almost all of my friends who married same age women do. Perhaps a good age gap would solve this, and reduce cheating

I think some/maybe many women lose interest in sex a few years after kids. My AP is the same age as me, late 40s, and his wife is 15+ years younger than him. I don’t know if he’s being honest, but he complains about lack of sex with his wife. As old as I am, I want sex more often than my husband does. DH is 6 years older than me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:However did you survive a massive two year age gap?

That is actually a relatively big gap men to women. Most men age 43 are married to women 34-41 so his wife is several years ahead of his peers, slowing down and losing libido.

Citation for this, please?

I have not found this to be true among my friends. Most are within a couple years of each other, and about even with the man or the woman being the elder of the two. A lot of my friends met when they were both in college or graduate school together, so that is why their ages are similar.

I see this too but maybe this is part of the libido gap problem. None of my friends in second marriage with younger wives complain about lack of sex, almost all of my friends who married same age women do. Perhaps a good age gap would solve this, and reduce cheating

Marry a woman with a family history of sexual activity later in life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am perimenopausal and masturbate twice a day. Women are different.

Perimenopause is actually a high hormone time.

Hmm, no. My 77 year old mother still has sex!

It did for me. That and the extra 50 lbs around H’s middle.

menopause does not kill sex! at all.