Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 19:57     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Decide on how much you are willing to pay even if she never contacts or speaks to you during her time away at school. Then let her and your ex know the amount.

Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 19:57     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Anonymous wrote:What was the backstory with your divorce, OP? If you will be honest about it.... How much individual therapy and family therapy did your family have?


None of this matters.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 19:29     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
What was the backstory with your divorce, OP? If you will be honest about it.... How much individual therapy and family therapy did your family have?
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 19:28     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Wow, you suck, OP. I bet the divorce was your fault and she blames you for ruining her family life. You are the adult, she's the child.


You sound nasty. You don't owe your kids college. Its not unreasonable to expect communication and be treated decently. So, if your kids apply to college and demand $50K a year and don't feel the need to show you the paperwork or communicate with you at all, would you just write the check? Usually in these situations, Mom has sabotaged the relationship. You do realize mom's can cheat and be the cause of divorce.

If my kids treat us that way, there is no way we are paying for college. If they want to be adults, then they can pay.


OK, OP-pretending-to-be-NP.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 19:21     Subject: Re:Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Either you need to meet the mom who is not paying her DDs tuition bill because the DD is "rude and mean" or you are a troll just spinning your scenario a new way. Are you the same person who posted another thread and was outed as being sometimes single, sometimes married, sometimes a man, sometimes a woman?
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 19:09     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Anonymous wrote:Wow, you suck, OP. I bet the divorce was your fault and she blames you for ruining her family life. You are the adult, she's the child.


You sound nasty. You don't owe your kids college. Its not unreasonable to expect communication and be treated decently. So, if your kids apply to college and demand $50K a year and don't feel the need to show you the paperwork or communicate with you at all, would you just write the check? Usually in these situations, Mom has sabotaged the relationship. You do realize mom's can cheat and be the cause of divorce.

If my kids treat us that way, there is no way we are paying for college. If they want to be adults, then they can pay.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 18:54     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Wow, you suck, OP. I bet the divorce was your fault and she blames you for ruining her family life. You are the adult, she's the child.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 18:47     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband's daughter behaved like that. We think a lot had to do with the mom. She wasn't required to provide Dad's income and only used mom's income. Dad said I want the acceptance letter, financial information and to discuss with you how much mom is contributing, and wanted a copy and grades. Child refused to provide the information so we suspect she got a full ride. They refused to provide any information. She does not need your income information to apply. She can get a job to pay expenses.

If OPs daughter is applying to top-tier schools (ivy league), she will have to provide financial info for both parents as they use CSS profile to determine aid. Of course, she can slum it with the rest of our kids at one of the many excellent state schools which use FAFSA only and apply on Mom's household income only.


Then, Dad can provide the information directly to the school, which is what my husband offered his daughter. He doesn't need to give it to mom or daughter.

Yes, that is how they do it. They want you to complete your portion of the form and send it, the other parent doesn't complete yours, or at least that's how it was a few years ago when my son was applying.


I think they just left my husband off even and lied though he continued to pay child support a few years after age 18. (so technically that should have been his portion for college). Mom had little income and was supported by boyfriend so I suspect child got a full ride.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 18:45     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Anonymous wrote:Good luck OP. My ex lied too about college and pocketed the checks I paid that was to go to school. She also lied about tie circumstances of our divorce at all times. I thought my DS would come around and be more even about everything as a young adult. He is polite to my face but I am an ATM to him.


My husband too. We only hear from them to demand money. The worst is one child's girlfriend turned wife who refuses to work. He married his mom.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 18:44     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Unless she’s URM or recruited she won’t get in. So there’s those savings at least!

Signed,
Parent of DS who has the scores, rigor, GPA and extras but we know the odds. Ok
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 18:40     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Good luck OP. My ex lied too about college and pocketed the checks I paid that was to go to school. She also lied about tie circumstances of our divorce at all times. I thought my DS would come around and be more even about everything as a young adult. He is polite to my face but I am an ATM to him.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 18:37     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband's daughter behaved like that. We think a lot had to do with the mom. She wasn't required to provide Dad's income and only used mom's income. Dad said I want the acceptance letter, financial information and to discuss with you how much mom is contributing, and wanted a copy and grades. Child refused to provide the information so we suspect she got a full ride. They refused to provide any information. She does not need your income information to apply. She can get a job to pay expenses.

If OPs daughter is applying to top-tier schools (ivy league), she will have to provide financial info for both parents as they use CSS profile to determine aid. Of course, she can slum it with the rest of our kids at one of the many excellent state schools which use FAFSA only and apply on Mom's household income only.


Then, Dad can provide the information directly to the school, which is what my husband offered his daughter. He doesn't need to give it to mom or daughter.

Yes, that is how they do it. They want you to complete your portion of the form and send it, the other parent doesn't complete yours, or at least that's how it was a few years ago when my son was applying.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 18:24     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Anonymous wrote:You were my FIL twenty years ago. He has no relationship with our family now. He has never even met two of his grandchildren.


He has provided for his daughter. Anything after age 18 is optional. That is nothing like your situation in less you or your spouse were absolute brats, which sounds like a good possibility. He is trying to be involved and daughter is saying no and demanding money.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 18:23     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My husband's daughter behaved like that. We think a lot had to do with the mom. She wasn't required to provide Dad's income and only used mom's income. Dad said I want the acceptance letter, financial information and to discuss with you how much mom is contributing, and wanted a copy and grades. Child refused to provide the information so we suspect she got a full ride. They refused to provide any information. She does not need your income information to apply. She can get a job to pay expenses.

If OPs daughter is applying to top-tier schools (ivy league), she will have to provide financial info for both parents as they use CSS profile to determine aid. Of course, she can slum it with the rest of our kids at one of the many excellent state schools which use FAFSA only and apply on Mom's household income only.


Then, Dad can provide the information directly to the school, which is what my husband offered his daughter. He doesn't need to give it to mom or daughter.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2019 18:14     Subject: Daughter's Behavior Toward Parent/Family and Attitude vs Gratitude
Anonymous wrote:My husband's daughter behaved like that. We think a lot had to do with the mom. She wasn't required to provide Dad's income and only used mom's income. Dad said I want the acceptance letter, financial information and to discuss with you how much mom is contributing, and wanted a copy and grades. Child refused to provide the information so we suspect she got a full ride. They refused to provide any information. She does not need your income information to apply. She can get a job to pay expenses.

If OPs daughter is applying to top-tier schools (ivy league), she will have to provide financial info for both parents as they use CSS profile to determine aid. Of course, she can slum it with the rest of our kids at one of the many excellent state schools which use FAFSA only and apply on Mom's household income only.