I'm living this so here's my report from the trenches. I kept my married name when we divorced because we got married so young that my entire professional career was with that name. My EXH's 2nd wife (he remarried pretty quickly) was initially pissed about that but I just didn't engage about it and so I actually have no idea when/if she ever made her peace with it. When I remarried, my kids were very worried about us "matching" so I hyphenated, which felt like a mouthful but also felt like an easy way to help them feel good about the transitional moment we were in. Then I had another kid, who has my current husband's last name.

People call me the wrong last name all the time, usually based on the kid I'm with at the moment, and I just let it go because I don't care that much. It matters the most at places like airports or doctor's offices and at those times I'm glad I did it this way because it makes it easier when one name on my legal ID matches the kid in question. But on a daily basis, it's been about 10 years since I remarried and at this point it's one of those things that seemed stressful in the moment and then just stops being an issue once it's your new normal.

Anonymous wrote:In your position, I would absolutely be Smith-Jones so that none of my children would have a completely different last name than me.

makes sense-not op

You are not giving your 3rd children your ex-husband's last name, are you????

Anonymous wrote:We had a family living next door to us whose names went something like this:

Dad - Mr. Brown
Mom - Ms. Smith (her maiden name)
Son from mom's previous marriage - John Jones (Mom's ex's last name)
Daughter from this marriage - Suzy Brown-Smith

It was crazy.

But it is what it is. I don't know that any of the kid's cared. Their names meant something to them even if it wasn't their mom's name

We only have the first three people listed in our family. It’s totally fine. I’m not sure how someone would address a formal invitation but oh well. We do have a problem with nosy Nellies wanting to know why we have three last names sometimes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married and became a Smith. We had two children. We divorced and I kept the Smith. Now remarried, I kept the Smith because of my children, but I’m not pregnant and she with my new husband’s child. The best course of action is to hyphenate, correct?

Wait, wait just a minute.

Are you seriously going to change your surname to ExDHLastName-CurrentDHLastName???

Are you for real?

I don't think it's a bad option, as long as you don't have anything against hyphenated names. I know a family (second marriage for both) and the new child was given a hyphenated last name of mom's first marriage and of her own father. So Larla Ex-DH-Father.

It seemed kind of strange initially (to me), but the mom argued that she had gotten married to ex-DH so young that it was almost like her maiden name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married and became a Smith. We had two children. We divorced and I kept the Smith. Now remarried, I kept the Smith because of my children, but I’m not pregnant and she with my new husband’s child. The best course of action is to hyphenate, correct?

Wait, wait just a minute.

Are you seriously going to change your surname to ExDHLastName-CurrentDHLastName???

Are you for real?

I know at least two families like this. If Current DH was comfortable marrying Ms. XH’sLastName, why would he feel weird about her becoming Ms. ExDHLastName-CurrentDHLastName?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I married and became a Smith. We had two children. We divorced and I kept the Smith. Now remarried, I kept the Smith because of my children, but I’m not pregnant and she with my new husband’s child. The best course of action is to hyphenate, correct?

Wait, wait just a minute.

Are you seriously going to change your surname to ExDHLastName-CurrentDHLastName???

Are you for real?

Its all good until you get to the 3rd husband...

Anonymous wrote:I married and became a Smith. We had two children. We divorced and I kept the Smith. Now remarried, I kept the Smith because of my children, but I’m not pregnant and she with my new husband’s child. The best course of action is to hyphenate, correct?

Wait, wait just a minute.

Are you seriously going to change your surname to ExDHLastName-CurrentDHLastName???

Are you for real?