Anonymous
09/16/2019 11:33
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He’s 20!
Why didn’t he go to college earlier?
I am curious about this too.
It’s irrelevant. Stick to the topic.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 23:52
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
Anonymous wrote:He’s 20!
Why didn’t he go to college earlier?
I am curious about this too.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 23:44
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
Be happy the boy stink is going to air out of his room & get a grip. Be excited for him. Make it less about you.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 23:37
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
Freshman year is hard but sophomore is worse. Really independent then.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 23:21
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
I really like the Asian culture of staying with your kids at least till they are married..then helping with the grandkids..then they helping with the elder Care... everybody has an easier time of it...IF they are all basically reasonable and good people I guess
Anonymous
09/15/2019 23:13
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
The rooms of our adult children (in their 20's) have about 2 selves in their closet of their old knick knacks. Usually things I think are special reminders of them (they've already taken all that they think is important), a couple pictures .. not many, not a shrine, a picture or two. Their bedspreads/drapes are different now. Something I chose, but to be honest, my daughter's room is more feminine, son's more masculine.
We need both rooms from guest rooms. It works. We wouldn't need them for anything else. My husband and I both keep off-season clothes in their closet. Probably more of our things in their room now, than theirs. There are some things of theirs in each of the closets. They would have something to wear, at home, if they wanted.
We need both rooms from guest rooms. It works. We wouldn't need them for anything else. My husband and I both keep off-season clothes in their closet. Probably more of our things in their room now, than theirs. There are some things of theirs in each of the closets. They would have something to wear, at home, if they wanted.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 21:44
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
A bit off topic -
Both my kids had very grown up rooms all their lives, with queen sized beds and big closets etc. When they went to college, all I did was really tidied it up and boxed their knick knacks and stored it in their closets.
When they came back, they came back to their room. When guests came, they could use their rooms too. I don't think repurposing their room would have gone down well in our family. These were functional and well appointed rooms and it was their space.
My oldest came back home after graduating and began her first job while staying with us. Her job was a consulting job and she was hardly home, She came back only on weekends or between projects. She only left when she got married and relocated to another state with her husband. After college she stayed home for another 4 years, worked with two employers and also did her masters.
My youngest stayed home or used our home as a base for the duration of one internship, 1 year of study abroad, 2 years of masters and six months in the first job. He only moved out when he went to another city and rented an apartment there.
Is the expectation that your kids will never return home? I am asking because my kids have stayed with us, on and off, when it was convenient and only moved out for education, job etc, when staying at home did not make sense. Obviously, when they were dating, they were spending time with their SO, but somehow even the SO were not settled in one place and they were moving for their education, internships or jobs. It would have been a logistical nightmare and a lot of expense for them to have not made our home their base.
Both my kids had very grown up rooms all their lives, with queen sized beds and big closets etc. When they went to college, all I did was really tidied it up and boxed their knick knacks and stored it in their closets.
When they came back, they came back to their room. When guests came, they could use their rooms too. I don't think repurposing their room would have gone down well in our family. These were functional and well appointed rooms and it was their space.
My oldest came back home after graduating and began her first job while staying with us. Her job was a consulting job and she was hardly home, She came back only on weekends or between projects. She only left when she got married and relocated to another state with her husband. After college she stayed home for another 4 years, worked with two employers and also did her masters.
My youngest stayed home or used our home as a base for the duration of one internship, 1 year of study abroad, 2 years of masters and six months in the first job. He only moved out when he went to another city and rented an apartment there.
Is the expectation that your kids will never return home? I am asking because my kids have stayed with us, on and off, when it was convenient and only moved out for education, job etc, when staying at home did not make sense. Obviously, when they were dating, they were spending time with their SO, but somehow even the SO were not settled in one place and they were moving for their education, internships or jobs. It would have been a logistical nightmare and a lot of expense for them to have not made our home their base.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 21:14
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:20? why is he 20 and going to freshman year.
Why are you asking a question that has nothing to do with OPs dilemma? Maybe he wasn't ready to start college sooner. Maybe he had to work for a while. Why is that any of your business and what does it have to do with OP's situation? Amazing the a$$holes that come out of the woodwork here on DCUM.
+1. I know someone who started at 19 because of leukemia treatments.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 18:44
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
Anonymous wrote:20? why is he 20 and going to freshman year.
Why are you asking a question that has nothing to do with OPs dilemma? Maybe he wasn't ready to start college sooner. Maybe he had to work for a while. Why is that any of your business and what does it have to do with OP's situation? Amazing the a$$holes that come out of the woodwork here on DCUM.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 18:27
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
You have plenty of company. I recall that Oprah did a show on this.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 14:52
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
I thought I'd be fine and it has been several weeks and I still cry at times. The recognition that things will never be the same hit me hard. I was a sahm and have twins. Dropping them off just days apart and coming home to an empty house was more painful than I expected. I have lots of interests and have lots of big projects but I'm pretty sad. I miss cooking for everyone.
This is one of the most significant milestones parents experience. Don't feel bad at having feelings about this.
This is one of the most significant milestones parents experience. Don't feel bad at having feelings about this.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 14:40
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:He’s 20!
Why didn’t he go to college earlier?
Leave OP alone! Maybe he took a gap year, maybe working, volunteering. Just cheer her up if you experienced what she is going through.
Sorry OP, I'm almost there. Think I will be a wreck when the time comes.
I thought that I posted about his status, he actually already has his Associates for Science and is now a transfer student at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo pursuing his major. He attended the local college until he had decided what his major was going to be. (He didn't want to waste our money)
Anonymous
09/15/2019 14:35
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
Anonymous wrote:ChallengerDream91 wrote:Yesterday was the day I have been dreading for a very long time. Me and my ex dropped off our youngest son at college.On one hand I am so proud of him but on the other hand now he is gone. His room of 20 years (he just turn 20 in August) is now empty. Last night on the drive home I cried the whole way home and now its morning and I find myself still a mess.
A friend of mine suggested that we repurpose his room, but both ex and I cannot do that... That is HIS room. I knew this day would come but I never thought it would hurt so horribly bad.
I'm going to be you next year. I think what might help is you telling yourself that it is good for son and you raised him right he will be ready for a new adventure. What if your parents made you feel guilty for wanting to start your own life? Not saying you can't be sad but don't let him know. Try to keep busy. Travel or take up new activities. He will still be part of your life but not if you smother him. Try to embrace change. You really wouldn't want a 30 year old man living in your house.
Yes, I do worry about smothering him, I certainly want him to be happy and be successful.
Thank you for your wonderful advice. I guess it will get better over time, just have to a positive attitude.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 14:32
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
Anonymous wrote:20? why is he 20 and going to freshman year.
Perhaps he took a few years off because he either wasn't ready or had medical issues? My dd is going getting her AA and will transfer when 22. Not everyone does things the same.
Anonymous
09/15/2019 14:30
Subject: Dropping youngest son to college, SO SAD.... how do I deal with him being gone???
Anonymous wrote:Why weren't you this sad when your oldest or middle one or whatever left??
My oldest is in transfer college too, but he comes home every night so I am ok since my oldest is here
(Thank God for that)