My parents were not terribly social in the town where I grew up. They were transplants to New England and just didn’t fit in. They’ve now retired to FL and have busy social lives. It’s really important to them and they couldn’t be happier. When I was young, I assumed they were homebodies by choice, but we’ve now talked about it and they say they never found their niche. I had a happy childhood and loved where I grew up, but my parents didn’t. They lived there for a long time, missing out on those social connections. It makes me sad.

We are pretty social: bbqs, dinners with other families. Basic suburban stuff. Makes us happy.

My parents had a big group of church friends with kids. All the kids of various ages would entertain ourselves while the gown ups talked. We went on camping trips with those families too. Good times! I am not religious as an adult but I would love to have the same sense of community.

No. Growing up my parents were super involved in the church - usher once a month, mom volunteered in the nursery and kitchen, church golf leagues, bible study, couples retreats, the works. My kids go to a Baptist preschool so we get a glimpse of that world through parents we meet there - the kids see each other at preschool but also Wednesday dinner and Sunday school.

We are not religious and it doesn’t interest us to be so heavily dependent on 1 group for so many things. That said my parents are still friends with the same couples they got paired up with in a church group as new parents - over 40yrs later.

My parents socialized individually, my dad went fishing with his buds, my Mom had her book club or womens groups. They hosted the occasional big party once a season, like a giant neighborhood brunch or a big family work bbq. I wasn’t particularly friends with who they would invite but we played with whoever was around. It was fun.

I’m kinda used to that approach, and my husband and I throw parties for friends and people we want to befriend, backyard bbqs, potluck brunch playdates, outdoor bonfires or whatever. It’s fun. People are so happy to have an excuse to get together and talk to other adults. We’re surprised more people don’t do this.

Put yourself out there and do it!

hors d oeuvres passed above my head ...

no, very differently

My parents are very involved with church. They were friends with my church friends’ parents. They were never involved with my school friends. My parents had a lot of friends but most of their friends kids were older than me. I used to hate going to get togethers with them. They still hang out and they are in their 70s.

I’m friendly with my kids friends parents but not really friends. I am involved at school- pta and room parent. We also do Cub Scouts, tennis team, soccer, etc

Anonymous wrote:My mom is very outgoing and would have loved to socialize with other couples and families, but my dad is the opposite so we never socialized with other families. I’m in a similar situation; although my husband and I are both pretty introverted, I’m social and would love to hang out with other couples and families while DH has almost zero interest. I tend to make friends easily while DH doesn’t so he barely makes an effort and naturally, doesn’t click with the other husband’s. I still hang out with the wives but not being able to do things with our spouses is very limiting to the friendships. I would love to entertain more, have people over for dinner, but I think in part because we never had people over, I feel awkward about hosting. Same goes for overnight guests, I hate having them more than I think is normal. So it sounds like my social life is much more similar to my parents than I would like, and partly in part because of my childhood. I really would like my kids to be better-adjusted, but it would take a huge effort on my part to get outside my comfort zone.

I could have written this. This is exactly me right now, even down to my own parents.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents were (still are) VERY social, so we always had people over or were over at people's houses. I wasn't necessarily in school with their kids, and didn't see them once we got old enough to socialize outside of our parents' social circles, but we all played when we were little.

DH and I haven't found a community/tribe like that, it makes me very sad.

Same here

Same for us
We tried a lot when we moved to the area several years back and our kids were younger, but to no avail. Now they’re 13 and 11 and both naturally introverted and shy so it is hard to meet people through the kids as the kids don’t socialize too much.

Anonymous wrote:My parents were (still are) VERY social, so we always had people over or were over at people's houses. I wasn't necessarily in school with their kids, and didn't see them once we got old enough to socialize outside of our parents' social circles, but we all played when we were little.

DH and I haven't found a community/tribe like that, it makes me very sad.

This is me exactly. I wish I had a tribe too. It makes me sad I don’t. Ive been trying really hard to get out and about, but it is hard with a special needs kid.

My parents are not social at all. I felt really left out growing up and I’m an only so really needed more people around.

I have an only. I go out of my way to make play dates and get to know other parents. I’m not a big party person though, there is only so much I can do. My DH is a total introvert and has zero interest.

My parents were very social and they had a lot of friends. But when I was really young I have no memory of what their life was like when we were babies and toddlers. We are pretty social as well but with two careers we tend to crash more on weekends than my parents did given my mom was SAH and needed to get out of the house on weekend nights.

It was a different time back then. With social media and anywhere communication we "socialize " with (witty) group texts and the like to make up for the lack of face to face time bc our schedules are so scatteted.

With family, we have Sunday dinners together (grandparents and BIL and his family) about 1x/mo.

My mom is very outgoing and would have loved to socialize with other couples and families, but my dad is the opposite so we never socialized with other families. I’m in a similar situation; although my husband and I are both pretty introverted, I’m social and would love to hang out with other couples and families while DH has almost zero interest. I tend to make friends easily while DH doesn’t so he barely makes an effort and naturally, doesn’t click with the other husband’s. I still hang out with the wives but not being able to do things with our spouses is very limiting to the friendships. I would love to entertain more, have people over for dinner, but I think in part because we never had people over, I feel awkward about hosting. Same goes for overnight guests, I hate having them more than I think is normal. So it sounds like my social life is much more similar to my parents than I would like, and partly in part because of my childhood. I really would like my kids to be better-adjusted, but it would take a huge effort on my part to get outside my comfort zone.

My parents had a group of friends and were big into socializing, maybe a bit too much. There were lots of parties, bbq, Nascar watching, and weekend dinners. We would spend a lot of weekends at a friend's home and the adults would drink and eat. It would mostly rotate on the weekends who would host. We lived in a very rural area and so most of the homes had many acres and there were at least 2 kids in each family, so we spent a great deal outside as kids or playing in the house if it was too cold. I remember always falling asleep on the drive home because it seemed like we would be out so late. We were poor so we didn't do week long vacations. Instead my parents would camp on the weekends with their friends. The ages of the children spanned +/- 5 years but we alll mostly got along and would play together. It was great. I wish that I had more time to do the same but I feel that we're too busy. They never were friends with my friends parents, but would make small chat.

I find myself interacting with other parents of my child's classmates, but I really find myself more in survival mode at this time in my life.

Unless it was something like a scout picnic, my parents seldom socialized with families from school or sports, and when they did it was more formal than what we typically do. They might have close friends’ parents sit down in the living room for a chat when dropping off or picking up, but the idea of them going to an end of basketball season party at the house of someone they don’t know well is laughable. They didn’t become cozy with other parents from sports teams or activities.

DH and I talk a lot with other parents at games, school events, etc., and would feel negligent if our family was the only one not going to a soccer pizza party or whatever. We have actually have made adult friends through our kids. Strange how much parenting expectations and culture have changed.