Anonymous
Post 09/14/2019 17:31     Subject: How much to help out this classmate's mom?
That mom is going to evolve into the mom that joins a carpool but rarely can drive. It’s presumptuous for her to ask you to have YOUR babysitter take responsibility for her kid. Would she ask you to do the same or does she think it’s ok because it’s “just” the babysitter?
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2019 20:47     Subject: How much to help out this classmate's mom?
Anonymous wrote:I mean this kindly - you are totally overthinking this! Just have your sitter do as she asked, which is not at all a big deal, if you want to help out. Don’t add 56 additional complicating factors to it.


Completely disagree unless you plan to pay your babysitter extra for the extra responsibility. The babysitter didn’t accept a job to watch more than her own charges.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2019 20:36     Subject: Re:How much to help out this classmate's mom?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I just talked with our sitter and told her to text the other mom, on the day of, whenever she feels like walking both girls back home. I also stressed that I was completely fine with her never doing this, since she's the one doing it, and that at most, I wouldn't want her to do this more than once a month. So our sitter is in no way obligated. I think this strikes a good balance of being helpful (assuming sitter wants to), but not too much that it becomes an obligation for us and/or expected by the other mom.


I think you put more obligations on your sitter's plate than you needed to. You assume she wants to help, but at the same time you are telling her to text the mom whenever she feels like walking home. You are putting her in a tough spot of telling YOU no. BTW, in this case the sitter is the one who will be helpful, not you (I don't mean that in a harsh way), so I hope she gets paid a little extra. Also, for the life of me I don't understand why you would add this extra work on her when all the other mom wanted was for her to take the girl to the lobby.


+1 Bc OP is so afraid of her own DD being in class without this friend. Pathetic.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2019 20:33     Subject: How much to help out this classmate's mom?
You will have to pay your sitter more for this and ask her permission. I would hesitate to agree to something 100% of the time.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2019 20:30     Subject: How much to help out this classmate's mom?
I think you handled it perfectly, OP.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2019 13:18     Subject: How much to help out this classmate's mom?
Don't offer more. She asked, and it's good this other Mom felt comfortable enough to reach out an ask. And you certainly could have given any answer. Leave it at that.

It's nice you could help.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2019 12:59     Subject: Re:How much to help out this classmate's mom?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I just talked with our sitter and told her to text the other mom, on the day of, whenever she feels like walking both girls back home. I also stressed that I was completely fine with her never doing this, since she's the one doing it, and that at most, I wouldn't want her to do this more than once a month. So our sitter is in no way obligated. I think this strikes a good balance of being helpful (assuming sitter wants to), but not too much that it becomes an obligation for us and/or expected by the other mom.


I think you put more obligations on your sitter's plate than you needed to. You assume she wants to help, but at the same time you are telling her to text the mom whenever she feels like walking home. You are putting her in a tough spot of telling YOU no. BTW, in this case the sitter is the one who will be helpful, not you (I don't mean that in a harsh way), so I hope she gets paid a little extra. Also, for the life of me I don't understand why you would add this extra work on her when all the other mom wanted was for her to take the girl to the lobby.


YES! Asking the sitter to take the other girl to the lobby is perfectly fine and reasonable. Anybody would do this.

You are over complicating the situation so much....
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2019 12:55     Subject: Re:How much to help out this classmate's mom?
Anonymous wrote:Just do the favor she asked.

When I had my third child, I would drive my younger kids to pick up older kid. I would have to take baby out and walk into building. Our neighbor offered to drive my child home. We live 1 min away, about 6 houses from their house. I really appreciated it. I did reciprocate when they had another child the year after.

I think a parent vs sitter is different. Driving and walking also different. If it rains or it is cold or hot, that extra time can be a huge hassle.


Especially since OP is not the one doing the (forced) favor, the babysitter is. OP just gets to pat herself on the back for helping.
Anonymous
Post 09/12/2019 12:53     Subject: Re:How much to help out this classmate's mom?
Just do the favor she asked.

When I had my third child, I would drive my younger kids to pick up older kid. I would have to take baby out and walk into building. Our neighbor offered to drive my child home. We live 1 min away, about 6 houses from their house. I really appreciated it. I did reciprocate when they had another child the year after.

I think a parent vs sitter is different. Driving and walking also different. If it rains or it is cold or hot, that extra time can be a huge hassle.
Anonymous
Post 09/11/2019 16:28     Subject: How much to help out this classmate's mom?
I don't think you're overthinking at all OP. I believe it's too much to put on your sitter without comp'ing her for it.

I just read your update. I don't think you should have put this off on the sitter - like another pp stated, now she kind of is now obligated to tell you no. If she ever ends up doing it, you should give her little special thank yous. A $5 card to starbucks, a movie ticket...just little things to tell her she's appreciated.