I have a 5 yo and haven't used a babysitter yet. Eventually I'm sure but so far, no

Me but only because I cannot afford a babysitter. I'm a single parent and a teacher and I just don't have the money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was my family growing up and I can tell you that that as a kid it is stifling and aggravating to never ever ever be let out of the sight of parents/family just because my parents were clingy and controlling like your sister. Let your kids breathe a little and they just might develop some independenve and confidence.

This. OP is super controlling and it will negatively affect her kids.

This is OP - how am I super controlling? I do have non-family sitters.

PP probably didn't read all the way through or misread that you're talking about your sister.

Anyways, I don't remember my parents ever using non-family for care but they also literally rarely ever went out for date nights. They don't much like each other.

I prefer family if available, but not against using non-family care. Have a great lady who helps out on weekends that used to be one of the kid's daycare teacher.

Oh, and your sister is absolutely ridiculous to even ask your mom to cancel plans with you. I would be livid and call her out on it but that's me.

We haven't, and kids are 5 and 3. But that's because we have two sets of healthy, active grandparents in the area, plus several siblings with their own kids. We all help each other out and I've just never needed to get an outside sitter. But my kids have been in daycare since they were six months old and I would definitely find a sitter if I needed to. I'd never ask my parents to change travel plans in order to babysit.

My kids are teens now, and I can only think of one time I used a non-family babysitter (who technically wasn't a paid sitter, it was a good friend of mine). Not because I was against it, but because we just never needed to. I'd have done it no problem if it had been necessary. So I think your sister is crazy to expect you and your mom to change your plans so that she can attend a birthday party without having to hire a sitter.

I know a woman who has never been more than a room away from her nearly four year old. This mother has never left her daughter with anyone and even when she has a dentist or doctors appointment, her husband is with the child in the waiting room.

Having babysitters when I was a kid was the highlight of the week! My parents made sure that their fun night out was also our fun night in with a babysitter, a movie and treats reserved only for babysitter nights (Oreos!). I highly recommend babysitters!

My oldest is 11 and only family or friends who are like family have ever watched our kids. DH is very picky! I'm looking for a sitter that he approves of.

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in HS. We have never had a non-family member babysit them. It has been usually just DH and I. My mom was another person I have trusted with my kids.

I have left my kids home, when they were 6 or 7, with visiting relatives who were staying with us for several days, to make a quick dash to the grocery store or to a restaurant to pick up takeout.

I just don't think that others need to babysit or take care of my kids. I have happily outsourced a lot of things, but not the care of my children. YMMV

Freak.

Anonymous wrote:We haven’t, and my kids are eight and ten. We do have a strong group of friends (with similarly aged kids) that we watch each other’s kids.

However, I would never dream of asking my mother to change her plans to come and watch my kids! It’s fine to just decline the party invite if she doesn’t want a sitter.

Those people are non-family sitters. Not paid sitters, but they're non-family members who watch your kids.

Anonymous wrote:We haven’t, and my kids are eight and ten. We do have a strong group of friends (with similarly aged kids) that we watch each other’s kids.

However, I would never dream of asking my mother to change her plans to come and watch my kids! It’s fine to just decline the party invite if she doesn’t want a sitter.

So, yes, you have used a non-family babysitter, that's what those friends are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in HS. We have never had a non-family member babysit them. It has been usually just DH and I. My mom was another person I have trusted with my kids.

I have left my kids home, when they were 6 or 7, with visiting relatives who were staying with us for several days, to make a quick dash to the grocery store or to a restaurant to pick up takeout.

I just don't think that others need to babysit or take care of my kids. I have happily outsourced a lot of things, but not the care of my children. YMMV

Have your kids ever gone to a sleep-away camp, or for a sleepover/short trip with a friends's family?

Yes, to the sleep-away camp from school and went with their team to loads of overnight and multi-day fieldtrips and competitions and they were quite happy with it. DD has gone it sleepovers in the house of 3-4 close friends only. Our house has always been the hub where other lkids have come to hang out, study, sleepiver, and my kids are the social directors of their group of friends. They very rarely go anywhere because others prefer to come to our house.

Anonymous wrote:Wondering if one or both of your sister's kids has sleep issues? I frequently read on this board of parents who sit in their kid's rooms or lay down with them until they are asleep. How could you explain these issues to a 14 year old sitter? OP, can you ask your sister what the problem is?

Her kids have no sleep issues and no special needs. My sister says she just can't trust anyone else with her kids - she knows it may sound crazy but she is too worried that something could happen. She lives in Chicago FWIW so she could easily find someone college age or a grad student, even a nanny, doesn't even have to be a 14 year old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was my family growing up and I can tell you that that as a kid it is stifling and aggravating to never ever ever be let out of the sight of parents/family just because my parents were clingy and controlling like your sister. Let your kids breathe a little and they just might develop some independenve and confidence.

This. OP is super controlling and it will negatively affect her kids.

This is OP - how am I super controlling? I do have non-family sitters.

Anonymous wrote:Your sister is too cheap to pay a real babysitter.

It's not that at all - she is willing to pay to change my mom's flight... a sitter would be much less!

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in HS. We have never had a non-family member babysit them. It has been usually just DH and I. My mom was another person I have trusted with my kids.

I have left my kids home, when they were 6 or 7, with visiting relatives who were staying with us for several days, to make a quick dash to the grocery store or to a restaurant to pick up takeout.

I just don't think that others need to babysit or take care of my kids. I have happily outsourced a lot of things, but not the care of my children. YMMV

Have your kids ever gone to a sleep-away camp, or for a sleepover/short trip with a friends's family?