Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 20:37     Subject: SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
Anonymous wrote:My brother is having my other brother over for a bbq this weekend. My brother texted me asking if they could stop by after the bbq. I asked where this bbq is and was told it is at my brother and SIL’s house. I asked my brother why we weren’t invited and he said my SIL wasn’t up for hosting a large group of people and my brother had suggested we all go out to dinner instead, but my SIL said no.

I feel hurt. I know my SIL and I are not close but I don’t think she would deliberately not want me an my husband and children to come to a family bbq at her house.


Your problem isn't your SIL. It's your brother.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 20:21     Subject: Re:SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
When I was single, i just showed up and ate at a siblings house if I got word a bbq was happening- invited or not- but that’s how we used to do. Now that I’m part of a family of 4, I wait to be invited. Three extra mouths to feed is a lot!
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 16:51     Subject: SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
Anonymous wrote:I would be similarly hurt, OP, if my siblings were having a Labor Day Weekend BBQ and I was the only sibling excluded. Ouch.


Me too, it hurts and my brother and SIL do this quite a bit, even for major holidays.

Nothing you can do except try to talk to your brother OP. They don't have to invite everyone every time. If you do have kids and they don't, or they have kids and you don't, it seems to cause problems for some people I have noticed.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 15:54     Subject: SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
My DH refuses to get together with one sibling’s family and not the other, and not his parents. Since I don’t want to host 12+ people very often, we see them all a lot less often than if DH would let us invite them (on a rotation) in smaller groups.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 15:37     Subject: SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
It’s not a family bbq. Your brother and SIL are inviting one couple over for a bbq, not hosting a large gathering. Get over it.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 15:36     Subject: SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
I would be similarly hurt, OP, if my siblings were having a Labor Day Weekend BBQ and I was the only sibling excluded. Ouch.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 15:35     Subject: Re:SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
Just forget it! Have them all over to your place and enjoy the day! Stop whining! You seem intent on causing family drama!
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 15:33     Subject: SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
Invited brother should have kept his big mouth shut!
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 15:11     Subject: Re:SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
This is on your brother, not SIL. She's not obligated to host a bigger group than she wants at any time.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 15:10     Subject: SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't see this issue at all. Growing up in a large family, we often went to one aunt's house or another uncle's BBQ. Not everyone was invited to everything. Except for major holidays, those should have invitations to everything.


This weekend is Labor Day, which is a pretty standard BBQ holiday.


Sorry- major is Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas (unless you're not Christian).
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 15:09     Subject: SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
OP, you are not entitled to every invitation. You are not entitled to ask others, the specifics of their plans (your brother shouldn't have given enough details that caused you to wonder and ask)

You are not entitled. You are not entitled. You are not entitled.

Repeat as needed.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 14:14     Subject: Re:SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
"Blocked" - no.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 13:52     Subject: SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
Anonymous wrote:I'd be mad at your brother who didn't invite you. He's the one you have the issue with.


+1 to the extent there's a problem here, it's with your brother. But you should also let this roll off your back. Do you invite them to everything at your house?
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 13:51     Subject: SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
Anonymous wrote:I don't see this issue at all. Growing up in a large family, we often went to one aunt's house or another uncle's BBQ. Not everyone was invited to everything. Except for major holidays, those should have invitations to everything.


This weekend is Labor Day, which is a pretty standard BBQ holiday.
Anonymous
Post 08/29/2019 13:49     Subject: SIL blocked invitation to family BBQ
Do you feel the need to do everything together? You never hang out with just one sibling? You should try it sometime.