Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS age 4.5 has been sleeping with us. DH wants to begin moving him out and into his own room. I’m sad! I’ll miss the snuggles. That is all.

Your boy doesn’t really belong in your bed.
Do you understand that?

+1. 4.5 is too old for this OP. Listen to your husband. This is not healthy for your son in the long term.

Guys, come on, let’s not overstate this. Of course OP should consider her husband’s wishes and they should decide together how best to handle this. But to say it’s “not healthy” for a preschooler to sleep in bed with his parents is too much. I say this as someone whose 1 and 3 year olds sleep in their own beds most of the time, but the times they join us are not unwelcome. I have zero concerns that their time in our bed —even if it were more frequent—will make them poor students, unkind people, dependent adults, or whatever else you all are worried about.

They’re little kids. They love and need their parents. That’s all.

Anonymous wrote:Op, I hear you! My middle kid has come in to our room practically every night since he was 3. He is 5.5! We managed to have 2 other children, so clearly our marriage is fine. They are little once. If he needs it, he needs. it. I do agree that if husband is asking for a different arrangement, then you all should have a conversation about it. But if co-sleeping works for you all then, so be it.

How did you handle this with a new baby? Not OP, but have my own 4.5 year old who wakes up and crawls into our bed around 3-4 AM every night, and am expecting #2 in a couple months. Trying to figure out how to break the habit because I don't see that working out well with night nursing the baby.

I see lots of mothers having concerning relationships with their sons. Actually, it’s pretty shocking. What’s going on?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS age 4.5 has been sleeping with us. DH wants to begin moving him out and into his own room. I’m sad! I’ll miss the snuggles. That is all.

Your boy doesn’t really belong in your bed.
Do you understand that?

+1. 4.5 is too old for this OP. Listen to your husband. This is not healthy for your son in the long term.

Anonymous wrote:DS age 4.5 has been sleeping with us. DH wants to begin moving him out and into his own room. I’m sad! I’ll miss the snuggles. That is all.

Your boy doesn’t really belong in your bed.
Do you understand that?

Again, this arrangement is going to persist for a few more years so let's not get all weepy yet or high five DH about all the sex he will be getting.It's going to be murder getting him out of there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nurture your husband. Sheesh. I can’t imagine how he feels. Time for the kid to get into his own bed and make your marriage a priority for at least a small portion of the day.

It was her MIL's job to nurture her husband. A grown adult shouldnt come before a child nor a pet. Do you know how SILLY that sounds? A grown man needs cuddle priority before a child.

Also, to make the reciprocal argument- how is making a marriage a priority something that can only happen in bed? As another PP suggested: snuggles could happen on the couch or any other place in the house? Are all of you so uptight that a bed is the only place acceptable for adult relationships?

As for the second kid, not all of us copulate for reproduction.

Highly doubt she’s making him much of a priority the rest of the time. I feel bad for your husband if you cast him aside after he fulfilled his sperm donor duties. This is the person you took vows to? Why get married at all? I hope he leaves you. He’d be better off.

Anonymous wrote:Nurture your husband. Sheesh. I can’t imagine how he feels. Time for the kid to get into his own bed and make your marriage a priority for at least a small portion of the day.

It was her MIL's job to nurture her husband. A grown adult shouldnt come before a child nor a pet. Do you know how SILLY that sounds? A grown man needs cuddle priority before a child.

Also, to make the reciprocal argument- how is making a marriage a priority something that can only happen in bed? As another PP suggested: snuggles could happen on the couch or any other place in the house? Are all of you so uptight that a bed is the only place acceptable for adult relationships?

As for the second kid, not all of us copulate for reproduction.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS is 7. I don't snuggle in his bed all that often but I do sit in his room while he falls asleep. We snuggle on the couch and read together. I love the snuggles.

I am glad that he is in his own bed. We went on a backpacking trip this summer and DS slept between DH and I. DH and I both ended up pushed against the side of the tent as our child moved around all night, to include sleeping on both of our air mattresses. I love him to death but he is not easy to share a sleeping space with.

At 7?

Why?

Because he asks me to. Because it is 30 minutes a night and it makes him feel a bit more secure, less lonely. Because one day he is not going to ask me to stay with him and that will be just fine. Because it is better then having him come and crawl into the bed in the middle of the night like some of my friends 7 year olds do.

Anonymous wrote:DS is 7. I don't snuggle in his bed all that often but I do sit in his room while he falls asleep. We snuggle on the couch and read together. I love the snuggles.

I am glad that he is in his own bed. We went on a backpacking trip this summer and DS slept between DH and I. DH and I both ended up pushed against the side of the tent as our child moved around all night, to include sleeping on both of our air mattresses. I love him to death but he is not easy to share a sleeping space with.

At 7?

Why?

Let him grow up.

Op, I hear you! My middle kid has come in to our room practically every night since he was 3. He is 5.5! We managed to have 2 other children, so clearly our marriage is fine. They are little once. If he needs it, he needs. it. I do agree that if husband is asking for a different arrangement, then you all should have a conversation about it. But if co-sleeping works for you all then, so be it.

Anonymous wrote:Have him sleep in his own bed so you can work on baby #2.

Not everyone wants a #2.

I really, really hope you mean 4.5 months and not 4.5 years.

Anonymous wrote:Nurture your husband. Sheesh. I can’t imagine how he feels. Time for the kid to get into his own bed and make your marriage a priority for at least a small portion of the day.

This. Sorry, but sharing private time at night with your husband is far more important than your child sleeping in your bed. Kids can get lots of snuggling without sharing your bed. We lounge in the couch together, watch TV, and “snuggle” for a bit. So anyway, you’ll see that you too will be thrilled to have all the space, privacy and fun back! Enjoy!