Anonymous
08/27/2019 21:00
Subject: SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
But seriously, OP, what do you do all day? Do you have some sort of hobby or volunteer gig that takes up your time?
Anonymous
08/27/2019 20:58
Subject: SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
NP. + 1 to all of this:
"It sucks. When women know you don't work, it seems to be all they see. What helps, I find, is that I play it very close to the vest that I don't really work. I still technically do some very, very, very part-time consulting in my old field - which is a profitable niche - so I just talk about that when I'm asked what I do. I explain that I work part-time, and mostly from home. I can still talk a blue streak about my old field, so casual acquaintances aren't really the wiser."
"It sucks. When women know you don't work, it seems to be all they see. What helps, I find, is that I play it very close to the vest that I don't really work. I still technically do some very, very, very part-time consulting in my old field - which is a profitable niche - so I just talk about that when I'm asked what I do. I explain that I work part-time, and mostly from home. I can still talk a blue streak about my old field, so casual acquaintances aren't really the wiser."
Anonymous
08/27/2019 20:50
Subject: Re:SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
Tell them that it’s none of their f’ing business. And I’ll add that these busybodies sound jealous of your lifestyle.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 20:42
Subject: Re:SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
OP: it sounds like you are living the American Dream.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 19:35
Subject: SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
She's probably going through something stressful and something about your conversation triggered her. It probably wasn't even really about you.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 19:34
Subject: SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s weird, I read about this kind of thing on here but in real life all I get are “aren’t you lucky” type comments.
The people I know irl seem to be irritated or hassled by at least one aspect of their jobs though. It’s only in DCUM that people LOVE their jobs so much that they’d continue working after winning the lottery.
+1
I haven't dealt with outward judgement, as there are quite a few long-term SAHMs in my neighborhood.
However, as the years wear on, I notice that I've lost several close friends from earlier stages in my life. The cold reality is that, everywhere other than DCUM, having a dual WOHP household is very much a miserable grind. What's typically happened with some old friends is that they hit some difficult situation, and despite me trying to do everything I can to be supportive, they'll lash out in some way or other. I think our lives just look too different right now and when the going gets tough, they're resentful that they're not better situated. I have found this to happen even when I'm dramatically supportive of my friends who are going through a tough time. I'm very aware that anything can happen and that it could be me one day. For example, I had a friend move in after her divorce. I tried to help the most I could, but I just don't feel like she wanted to be supported by someone in a situation she envied. Same story with another close friend who fell on very hard times due to a job loss and some health issues.
It sucks. When women know you don't work, it seems to be all they see. What helps, I find, is that I play it very close to the vest that I don't really work. I still technically do some very, very, very part-time consulting in my old field - which is a profitable niche - so I just talk about that when I'm asked what I do. I explain that I work part-time, and mostly from home. I can still talk a blue streak about my old field, so casual acquaintances aren't really the wiser.
Pretty sure you’ve already posted this.
Lol. Nope.
Then you have a life twin who can’t keep friends over 40 because her life is awesome and theirs suck.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 19:33
Subject: SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
Anonymous wrote:I always just do the “closed lip smile” and keep repeating “it works very well for us.” No one’s business I have generational wealth and a husband with a great job he loves and my interest stream alone pays more than any job I could get with my Masters degree. Tacky to even talk about money so I don’t.
X10000
Nailed it. OP, that woman is no friend - she is so ridiculous she assumes it is your husband's money! It may or may not be, it simply is not her business, especially not if she is coming at you so aggressively. Eff her.
I know someone who puts up with so much sh&t in her marriage, thinks no one knows, but stays because she has rich ILs. Worse, she actually judges SAHMs. That is not you, so that "friend" of yours can stuff it.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 19:32
Subject: SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s weird, I read about this kind of thing on here but in real life all I get are “aren’t you lucky” type comments.
The people I know irl seem to be irritated or hassled by at least one aspect of their jobs though. It’s only in DCUM that people LOVE their jobs so much that they’d continue working after winning the lottery.
+1
I haven't dealt with outward judgement, as there are quite a few long-term SAHMs in my neighborhood.
However, as the years wear on, I notice that I've lost several close friends from earlier stages in my life. The cold reality is that, everywhere other than DCUM, having a dual WOHP household is very much a miserable grind. What's typically happened with some old friends is that they hit some difficult situation, and despite me trying to do everything I can to be supportive, they'll lash out in some way or other. I think our lives just look too different right now and when the going gets tough, they're resentful that they're not better situated. I have found this to happen even when I'm dramatically supportive of my friends who are going through a tough time. I'm very aware that anything can happen and that it could be me one day. For example, I had a friend move in after her divorce. I tried to help the most I could, but I just don't feel like she wanted to be supported by someone in a situation she envied. Same story with another close friend who fell on very hard times due to a job loss and some health issues.
It sucks. When women know you don't work, it seems to be all they see. What helps, I find, is that I play it very close to the vest that I don't really work. I still technically do some very, very, very part-time consulting in my old field - which is a profitable niche - so I just talk about that when I'm asked what I do. I explain that I work part-time, and mostly from home. I can still talk a blue streak about my old field, so casual acquaintances aren't really the wiser.
Pretty sure you’ve already posted this.
Lol. Nope.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 19:31
Subject: SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s weird, I read about this kind of thing on here but in real life all I get are “aren’t you lucky” type comments.
The people I know irl seem to be irritated or hassled by at least one aspect of their jobs though. It’s only in DCUM that people LOVE their jobs so much that they’d continue working after winning the lottery.
+1
I haven't dealt with outward judgement, as there are quite a few long-term SAHMs in my neighborhood.
However, as the years wear on, I notice that I've lost several close friends from earlier stages in my life. The cold reality is that, everywhere other than DCUM, having a dual WOHP household is very much a miserable grind. What's typically happened with some old friends is that they hit some difficult situation, and despite me trying to do everything I can to be supportive, they'll lash out in some way or other. I think our lives just look too different right now and when the going gets tough, they're resentful that they're not better situated. I have found this to happen even when I'm dramatically supportive of my friends who are going through a tough time. I'm very aware that anything can happen and that it could be me one day. For example, I had a friend move in after her divorce. I tried to help the most I could, but I just don't feel like she wanted to be supported by someone in a situation she envied. Same story with another close friend who fell on very hard times due to a job loss and some health issues.
It sucks. When women know you don't work, it seems to be all they see. What helps, I find, is that I play it very close to the vest that I don't really work. I still technically do some very, very, very part-time consulting in my old field - which is a profitable niche - so I just talk about that when I'm asked what I do. I explain that I work part-time, and mostly from home. I can still talk a blue streak about my old field, so casual acquaintances aren't really the wiser.
Pretty sure you’ve already posted this.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 19:30
Subject: SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
Anonymous wrote:It’s weird, I read about this kind of thing on here but in real life all I get are “aren’t you lucky” type comments.
The people I know irl seem to be irritated or hassled by at least one aspect of their jobs though. It’s only in DCUM that people LOVE their jobs so much that they’d continue working after winning the lottery.
+1
I haven't dealt with outward judgement, as there are quite a few long-term SAHMs in my neighborhood.
However, as the years wear on, I notice that I've lost several close friends from earlier stages in my life. The cold reality is that, everywhere other than DCUM, having a dual WOHP household is very much a miserable grind. What's typically happened with some old friends is that they hit some difficult situation, and despite me trying to do everything I can to be supportive, they'll lash out in some way or other. I think our lives just look too different right now and when the going gets tough, they're resentful that they're not better situated. I have found this to happen even when I'm dramatically supportive of my friends who are going through a tough time. I'm very aware that anything can happen and that it could be me one day. For example, I had a friend move in after her divorce. I tried to help the most I could, but I just don't feel like she wanted to be supported by someone in a situation she envied. Same story with another close friend who fell on very hard times due to a job loss and some health issues.
It sucks. When women know you don't work, it seems to be all they see. What helps, I find, is that I play it very close to the vest that I don't really work. I still technically do some very, very, very part-time consulting in my old field - which is a profitable niche - so I just talk about that when I'm asked what I do. I explain that I work part-time, and mostly from home. I can still talk a blue streak about my old field, so casual acquaintances aren't really the wiser.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 19:28
Subject: Re:SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
I think you might be a friend of mine (is DH older?). Your life is awesome! Let it roll off your back. If $ isn’t an issue, you should completely ignore.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 19:22
Subject: SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
She’s just incredibly rude. I would distance myself from such a rude person.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 19:22
Subject: Re:SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
She’s a wack job. Don’t mind her.
Depending on the audience I say I’m retired and not going back to work (which is true for the moment) but in all honesty, it doesn’t even make financial sense for me to work bc any amount I would bring would make us pay more in taxes than what I’d end up so just say that...that it doesn’t benefit you financially for you to work.
Or I say DH travels too much so it makes sense for me to be home but really it’s nobody’s business. Anyone who questions you is either insecure or jealous or is too cheap. I’ve heard people say it’s a complete waste of my education etc but I just ignore it and don’t let it get to me.
Depending on the audience I say I’m retired and not going back to work (which is true for the moment) but in all honesty, it doesn’t even make financial sense for me to work bc any amount I would bring would make us pay more in taxes than what I’d end up so just say that...that it doesn’t benefit you financially for you to work.
Or I say DH travels too much so it makes sense for me to be home but really it’s nobody’s business. Anyone who questions you is either insecure or jealous or is too cheap. I’ve heard people say it’s a complete waste of my education etc but I just ignore it and don’t let it get to me.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 19:20
Subject: SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:She sucks. Waste no more energy on her.
+1. Forget her, she’s awful!
She is awful. You can either let it go or mess with her if you have to see her again. Tell her you're in a witness protection program. Or that you are a corn farmer and the government is paying you NOT to farm.
Anonymous
08/27/2019 19:17
Subject: Re:SAHM with kids in school? Dealing with judgement?
Anonymous wrote:She’s envious. End of story.
Not always the case but this is, after all, the SAHM credo.