Anonymous
Post 08/27/2019 07:40     Subject: Sleepovers 16 plus do you allow ?
We allowed DD to have sleepovers until we had two incidences of drinking/sneaking out. Two+ years of no sleepovers which was extremely difficult and caused numerous fights “I am the only one who can’t”. Whether it helped or not I don’t know, but we all survived. We let up a few months before graduation.
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2019 07:38     Subject: Sleepovers 16 plus do you allow ?
Anonymous wrote:OP I feel for you. I have a super nerd 17 yr old and 14 yr old girl who is going to be the opposite so I am thinking about this now. I am considering throwing out all the alcohol in our house - we never drink and if kids sneaked it, we’d never know. Haven’t thought about sleepovers much but she has one a couple weeks ago and came home distracted and a bit upset. Finally told us her friends had pressured her to drink and talked about sex by junior yr plan. DD doesn’t want to deal yet. Vaping rampant. Nonsense at my house would result in calls home and parents would have to come pick kids up immediately. Mine is in a sport where coach is very strict so I am thankful for that.

On the other hand, kids need to be exposed to difficult situations where they have to make ethical decisions about who they are. I don’t want to deprive her of that. So I struggle. She’s strong willed but very bright and has great sense of herself. That will be a blessing and a curse. No one is the boss of her but she’s strong in her convictions.

I guess 17 yr old will have his rebellions in college. None so far. Downsides to that too.



You’re not alone OP. I feel for you.


The fact that she talked to you is HUGE!! Keep that going!!!!
Anonymous
Post 08/27/2019 07:08     Subject: Re:Sleepovers 16 plus do you allow ?
My 17 yo son is now a HS senior. He has four very close friends consisting of three girls and one other boy all the same age as him (one of the girls is his best friend). They've always had sleepovers at each other's houses and still have them pretty much every weekend. We were admittedly a little unsure about letting the girls sleepover too once they started middle school, but we let them continue having them with rules in place which are still in place now. The main one being that the boys have to sleep in our son's room while the girls have to sleep in our guest bedroom downstairs and every time they have them we remind them that we were trusting them to follow the rules or we wouldn't allow it again, the other parents have similar rules and separate places for the boys and girls to sleep. They've followed the rules every time and it's always been a delight to have them over. Our son is a really good kid and so are his friends and I'm happy for them to keep staying over at our house.