Shouldn’t

Yuck no. Anonymous donor recommended by everyone. No drama.

Is she trying to save a buck or something? Maybe she should have a baby then.

Can’t be serious

I say it’s fine. And as how he donates, may I suggest direct deposit.

Threesome

Anonymous wrote:No. He would still be legally responsible for the child. Then there are the emotional issues. Would he consider this his child? Would the child consider him the father? Your friend was very selfish with this request. But, she probably thought she had nothing to lose by asking. She trusts you very much to make a request like this.

That's not actually true. When you donate you sign legal agreements relinquishing custody. If the donor does a directed donation through a fertility clinic that creates another layer of legal distance. As someone with a donor-conceived child, I don't think this an outrageous idea, but I do think you need to be fully on board. I'm friends with a couple, the husband donated sperm to another family (two women). It's worked out fine for them and the donor and his wife act as not very involved aunt and uncle to the child. If you did want to consider moving forward, you should talk to an established LGBTQ family lawyer. If your husband donated through a fertility clinic, you would probably be required to participate in a counseling session with a social worker before the clinic would sign off (this is a requirement in Maryland). Donating sperm is a big deal and should be a careful decision, but there is a lot of misinformation on this board.

OP, if you and your husband decide this isn't for you, your friend can buy donor sperm through a sperm bank, so you are not ruining her chance to have a child. It might be worth talking to her about why she wants a known donor rather than an anonymous or donor ID donor (someone willing to be known to the child once they reach 18).

Okay I’ll bite.

No way.
Do not open up this can of worms or you will always be very sorry.

NOOOOOOO

Anonymous wrote:We grew up together and have been best friends since we were in grade school. She has been with me through thick and thin. She had a few bad relationships and a marriage that ended badly. I am happily married with two beautiful kids and a loving husband. DH is very successful and extremely intelligent. She admires him and DH and I both consider her a family. We are also reaching that age when our biological clock is ticking and she has been seriously thinking of finding a sperm donor. She has recently asked me if I’d be okay if DH is the donor. I am conflicted, WWYD?

HELL NO

No. He would still be legally responsible for the child. Then there are the emotional issues. Would he consider this his child? Would the child consider him the father? Your friend was very selfish with this request. But, she probably thought she had nothing to lose by asking. She trusts you very much to make a request like this.

Curious about the collection process? Will she be sleeping with your husband for the collection? If so, your husband might be ok with it.

HELL NO!!!!
Now, I giving your "best friend" the side eye on how she "looks" at your DH. Dang! Now, I won't be able to trust her with my hubby from this point on.

There's NOTHING for you to think about; solutions to her issues are already known. Sperm banks are readily available to assist her with this matter.

OP, think about the future and inheritance complications.

Nope nope nope.

If you’re not 100% on board the answer is no.