Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 10:10     Subject: Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
I don’t know why anyone, SAHM or not, would do this particular job if they didn’t need the money.

I’m a SAHM to MS/ES kids. Maybe one day I’ll work again and maybe I won’t but it’s going to have to be the right fit. We don’t need the money either and I just wouldn’t do to myself what OP is doing. Women in my family have a bad habit of dying in their 60’s so I’m not going to waste precious years at a job I don’t need.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 10:03     Subject: Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
Before you quit, would suggest you sit down and make a list of the problems with workload, etc. see what would make it a reasonable job for you. I would start would teleworking to address the long commute. Are there tasks that could be delegated to others you are doing, etc. Then have a conversation with your supervisor. Say this job is not working for a.number of reasons. If these were addressed in this way You would be interested in remaining. See what they say. Would have that conversation first before quitting
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 09:53     Subject: Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
Quit. Don't wait a year - you don't need the line on your resume. If you want another job, look for one with greater flexibility and better work environment.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 09:50     Subject: Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
Anonymous wrote:OP I say this as someone who is a HUGE advocate for women working: quit!! Do it for me!! I HAVE to work a soul-sucking job, and I would quit in a minute if I were you. You especially don't need that commute.

You've earned your way into an incredibly fortunate position by investing in your family. You don't need to push yourself to do a job you don't like and take up your precious time commuting.

And more importantly - local communities NEED people like you. Instead of investing your time and energy in a job you hate, why not look around to get more deeply involved in volunteering right where you are? If you do this, dollars to donuts you'll end up finding a way to professionalize the work as a consultant or employee (even if that isn't your goal).


What? No she earned her way by snagging a rich breadwinner DH...

I agree she should quit but let’s be realistic of how she has this choice. And pitfalls that may come from that (DH job loss, divorce after empty nest, etc). It sounds like they are wealthy and not worried about divorce so probably she is fine to just be a housewife and that will make everyone happy.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 09:41     Subject: Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
Two hours of commuting a day sucks. That’s a valid reason to quit. The rest of it just sounds like.....a job.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 09:39     Subject: Re:Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
Anonymous wrote:I’d stay for one year and do your best- then use the updated resume to find a new job that will work better for you. You can afford to be more choosy because you don’t need the money. I would stick into out because you don’t know when another opportunity will arise, and you need recent experience on your resume.

That is, if you want to go to back to work. I assume that you do, but just want fewer hours etc. Maybe look for something part time. I think you will be glad that you did, in a few years when the kids are all at college..

In the meantime, hire out everything you can. And talk to the family about helping more and explain that this is hopefully temporary. Also put out lots of feelers (discreetly) about your career goals- if something comes up you can always interview etc! But I’d stay at least a year unless you have another job offer..


This. I was going to suggest sticking it out for the same exact reasons. You are still pretty new to that job and as you get more experienced you might find yourself becoming more efficient at doing the work which will give you a little down time during the day.

How old are you, Op?
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 09:32     Subject: Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
OP I say this as someone who is a HUGE advocate for women working: quit!! Do it for me!! I HAVE to work a soul-sucking job, and I would quit in a minute if I were you. You especially don't need that commute.

You've earned your way into an incredibly fortunate position by investing in your family. You don't need to push yourself to do a job you don't like and take up your precious time commuting.

And more importantly - local communities NEED people like you. Instead of investing your time and energy in a job you hate, why not look around to get more deeply involved in volunteering right where you are? If you do this, dollars to donuts you'll end up finding a way to professionalize the work as a consultant or employee (even if that isn't your goal).
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 09:29     Subject: Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
I've found that my kids needed me more when they were in HS than before. I quit when dd was a rising junior. It has been the best decision ever. Your reasons are valid, but I found out that teens get into all kinds of trouble when alone.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 09:23     Subject: Re:Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
feel as if I am missing out on life


Make sure this isn't truly your main reason for wanting to quit. Your kids are doing fine. It may not be pretty but they are doing fine, and learning by having to adjust.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 08:54     Subject: Re:Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
A lot of what you mention sounds like most jobs...the commute, being gone, missing kids. It's hard to tell what is this job versus what is you not being used to working at a job. You wrote that you don't talk to people...is that because people are mean, you are too busy, you are out of practice? Need more info there.

The easy thing to do is quit. Is that what you want?

Any time, I took on a new job, I found the adjustment to the schedule and culture to be a challenge, and it took time to handle it. I did not have the good fortune to be able to quit because it was hard so I just kept going.

Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 08:34     Subject: Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
I'd quit and find something part time that you at least somewhat enjoy.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 08:31     Subject: Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
QUIT! There is no need for you to do this. Spend the time with your kids while you have them and figure out later once they leave the nest.

I work part time and don't really need to. I constantly question whether it makes sense, and I LOVE my job!
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 08:23     Subject: Re:Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
Anonymous wrote:If you are independently wealthy, you can quit. Otherwise, use this experience to launch into another job that suits you better. Maybe your reaction is colored by not having worked in a long time.


Agree with this and 01:03. It can take time to adjust to a new job. After 6 months to a year, see if you feel the same way (unless your health is being affected severely). It sounds like a tough job though.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 07:28     Subject: Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
Maybe this is simply the wrong job.
Anonymous
Post 08/24/2019 06:51     Subject: Made a bad decision about going back to work and regretting it.
Anonymous wrote:What the ever loving hell? You hate it, it is lowering your quality of life and likely the quality of life of your whole family. Quit.

There are other jobs, lots of them, that wouldn't be like that. Lots.


+1 I am not fathoming why you are staying. It sounds like you are hung up on the “strategic opportunities” and the fact that you would be closing a door, but as you said, this isn’t your dream. If you have the luxury of working without having to worry about salary then find a job that you actually enjoy. Is it the prestige of this job that causes you to hesitate? I’m truly not understanding.

Working part-time might be a good balance for you; most people don’t have the luxury to be able to do it but it balances the best of both worlds. And when you have the empty nest you can ramp it up, if you like.