Anonymous
08/23/2019 10:10
Subject: Re:4 month old baby with sleep regression and constantly fighting with DH.
Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Do you work?
It sounds like you don't work. So your DH doesn't wake up in the middle of the night at all (which is generally a normal marital outcome, if only one parent is working - because his need for mental wherewithal is more than yours). But he wakes up at 4am, goes to work, comes home in the afternoon and immediately gives you a break from the baby, and then he makes dinner every second day? And it sounds like is doing other stuff around the house until he goes to bed?
That sounds like a pretty amazing spouse. He's tired too. It sounds like he's doing as much, if not more than you, in a given day. I'm not sure what you want him to do to be better? It also sounds like his anger with you is mostly in response to your anger at him, and that he's otherwise putting on a pretty good happy face for this stage.
Yes, new baby time sucks. But it sounds like your anger needs to be deflected away from your husband and just channeled into the "this too shall pass" mantra.
Spot on.
Anonymous
08/23/2019 09:44
Subject: Re:4 month old baby with sleep regression and constantly fighting with DH.
If you are a SAHM you should be doing almost everything with the baby except when you need a break here and there. He gets up early and has to go to work. I don't see why you are arguing with him.
At 4 months sleep training and formula will make a big difference. Not to mention if you need to leave baby with the sitter, friend or relative.
At 4 months sleep training and formula will make a big difference. Not to mention if you need to leave baby with the sitter, friend or relative.
Anonymous
08/23/2019 09:22
Subject: Re:4 month old baby with sleep regression and constantly fighting with DH.
I'm confused. Do you work?
It sounds like you don't work. So your DH doesn't wake up in the middle of the night at all (which is generally a normal marital outcome, if only one parent is working - because his need for mental wherewithal is more than yours). But he wakes up at 4am, goes to work, comes home in the afternoon and immediately gives you a break from the baby, and then he makes dinner every second day? And it sounds like is doing other stuff around the house until he goes to bed?
That sounds like a pretty amazing spouse. He's tired too. It sounds like he's doing as much, if not more than you, in a given day. I'm not sure what you want him to do to be better? It also sounds like his anger with you is mostly in response to your anger at him, and that he's otherwise putting on a pretty good happy face for this stage.
Yes, new baby time sucks. But it sounds like your anger needs to be deflected away from your husband and just channeled into the "this too shall pass" mantra.
It sounds like you don't work. So your DH doesn't wake up in the middle of the night at all (which is generally a normal marital outcome, if only one parent is working - because his need for mental wherewithal is more than yours). But he wakes up at 4am, goes to work, comes home in the afternoon and immediately gives you a break from the baby, and then he makes dinner every second day? And it sounds like is doing other stuff around the house until he goes to bed?
That sounds like a pretty amazing spouse. He's tired too. It sounds like he's doing as much, if not more than you, in a given day. I'm not sure what you want him to do to be better? It also sounds like his anger with you is mostly in response to your anger at him, and that he's otherwise putting on a pretty good happy face for this stage.
Yes, new baby time sucks. But it sounds like your anger needs to be deflected away from your husband and just channeled into the "this too shall pass" mantra.
Anonymous
08/23/2019 07:06
Subject: 4 month old baby with sleep regression and constantly fighting with DH.
Anonymous wrote:First off, I can completely commiserate with you because I just went through this with my now 6 month old. Unfortunately I truly think the only solution is to sleep train. I waited way too long and wish I had done it sooner so we could all just get some much needed sleep. The regression is a change in their sleep pattern/cycles to become more like an adult's so it's not likely to go back to the way it was. There will be some crying, but there are so many different methods you can research.
Also, this is my second baby but after having my first things were really, really rough with DH for like a year. Sleep depravation is really a killer and brings out the worst in people. There were times I didn't think DH and I were going to make it.
This
Anonymous
08/23/2019 02:40
Subject: 4 month old baby with sleep regression and constantly fighting with DH.
Stop making his lunches
Anonymous
08/22/2019 22:52
Subject: 4 month old baby with sleep regression and constantly fighting with DH.
Keep telling yourself that “this too shall pass.”
And it will.
You are promised that.
Four month sleep regression is normal.
But no fun.
You + your husband are in the toughest stage a marriage can be in.
Nothing like adding an infant into a marriage to test its strength to survive.
What you two are feeling is all par for the course.
Who wouldn’t feel the same if in your situation??
Just keep in mind that this isn’t forever.
That this can be a huge teachable life lesson.
That there will often be times when you & your husband may not like each other.
This is normal in all types of relationships.
Just ask any parent.
Especially one w/a teenage girl.
Just kidding.
Well....
Sort of.
But hopefully you get the gist of what I am trying to articulate here.
You (both!!) got this!!!!
And it will.
You are promised that.
Four month sleep regression is normal.
But no fun.
You + your husband are in the toughest stage a marriage can be in.
Nothing like adding an infant into a marriage to test its strength to survive.
What you two are feeling is all par for the course.
Who wouldn’t feel the same if in your situation??
Just keep in mind that this isn’t forever.
That this can be a huge teachable life lesson.
That there will often be times when you & your husband may not like each other.
This is normal in all types of relationships.
Just ask any parent.
Especially one w/a teenage girl.
Just kidding.
Well....
Sort of.
But hopefully you get the gist of what I am trying to articulate here.
You (both!!) got this!!!!
Anonymous
08/22/2019 20:55
Subject: 4 month old baby with sleep regression and constantly fighting with DH.
It’s just a phase that all 4 month olds go through. You can sleep train now, if you want, or you can wait awhile and ST closer to 6 months. Either way, you’ll get through it! It’s tough but only temporary. Hang in there.