Any benefits you have with slightly you get kids are likely offset by the risks associated with IVF.

FYI that having menstrual cycles regularly is somewhat irrelevant. But you do still probably have some good eggs at 40.

I don't think you can use a surrogate just because you're not interested in being pregnant again or because you feel tired. I think you have to have a legitimate medical reason (certified by your doctor). Being over 40 isn't a legitimate medical reason to not carry a pregnancy.

I have a friend who was super ill during her pregnancy (vomiting a ton) and wanted a surrogate for her second pregnancy. Money was not an issue. She saw 3 different doctors and none would say there was a health risk to her in carrying a second pregnancy, so none would complete whatever the paperwork is that she needed to hire a surrogate. I'm sure she could have found SOMEONE who would have filled out the paperwork, but it was a wake up call for her.

Anonymous wrote:I’m 40 with 3 healthy children. I still have menstrual cycles regularly. I told DH I want to freeze some eggs or embryos and he thinks I am crazy.

He's right.

If you have this money, then 100% DH is thinking this child can be had with someone else’s egg/uterus. Yours are non-starters at 40. There’s no reason to spend money on eggs that don’t work for IVF.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'll pay more due to your age (you'll need more eggs to increase your changes of success) and the odds of success given their age will be lower.

You have three children, are already forty, and want to subject your already tired self to this process? Going through egg retrieval is hardly going to give you more stamina and energy.

Team DH.

If we had started our family 5 years earlier, I would have loved to have more kids.

I guess I don’t feel done yet. It is an odd feeling to know you are done having kids and probably won’t physically be able to have more even if you want to.

No, this is not an odd feeling, it's a feeling that virtually all women experience at some point.

+1

This is a part of aging. Confronting morality. Confronting end of fertility. I think that most women go through this, including those that are done having kids. It's not a sign that you need to pursue IVF and surrogacy against the wishes of your husband.

+1,000,000

I recommend a glass of wine and some Leonard Cohen songs about death. We all go through this.

Using a surrogate to have a child after you already have 3 healthy children, your eggs are aging/at higher risk for abnormalities, and your DH doesn't even want another? You're selfish and nuts.

Anonymous wrote:I'd freeze embryos, not eggs. Eggs have low success rate, especially 40 year old eggs.

But OP, you have 3 kids. Plenty of us don't get the exact perfect number of kids we want for a variety of reasons (mine are financial) and I think that's ok. Life goes on.

I have one. I started late. Some have never been able to conceive or have had losses. You have more than so many now.

Get a puppy in a few years.

I'd freeze embryos, not eggs. Eggs have low success rate, especially 40 year old eggs.

But OP, you have 3 kids. Plenty of us don't get the exact perfect number of kids we want for a variety of reasons (mine are financial) and I think that's ok. Life goes on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ER/IVF is no cakewalk. I've done it.

I can't imagine doing it in your shoes.

Team DH.

Also, the quality of eggs that would retrieve would be very low. Since you’re freezing eggs not embryos, the likelihood of the eggs being viable when you do want to use them are close to zero.

If you enjoy discomfort, lots of doctors appointments and throwing money away, sure, go for it!

The only way this makes any sense is to freeze embryos. If you’re not ready to take the plunge, this is about something other than having another kid.

Get a therapist instead.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'll pay more due to your age (you'll need more eggs to increase your changes of success) and the odds of success given their age will be lower.

You have three children, are already forty, and want to subject your already tired self to this process? Going through egg retrieval is hardly going to give you more stamina and energy.

Team DH.

If we had started our family 5 years earlier, I would have loved to have more kids.

I guess I don’t feel done yet. It is an odd feeling to know you are done having kids and probably won’t physically be able to have more even if you want to.

No, this is not an odd feeling, it's a feeling that virtually all women experience at some point.

+1

This is a part of aging. Confronting morality. Confronting end of fertility. I think that most women go through this, including those that are done having kids. It's not a sign that you need to pursue IVF and surrogacy against the wishes of your husband.

*mortality, not morality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'll pay more due to your age (you'll need more eggs to increase your changes of success) and the odds of success given their age will be lower.

You have three children, are already forty, and want to subject your already tired self to this process? Going through egg retrieval is hardly going to give you more stamina and energy.

Team DH.

If we had started our family 5 years earlier, I would have loved to have more kids.

I guess I don’t feel done yet. It is an odd feeling to know you are done having kids and probably won’t physically be able to have more even if you want to.

No, this is not an odd feeling, it's a feeling that virtually all women experience at some point.

+1

This is a part of aging. Confronting morality. Confronting end of fertility. I think that most women go through this, including those that are done having kids. It's not a sign that you need to pursue IVF and surrogacy against the wishes of your husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You'll pay more due to your age (you'll need more eggs to increase your changes of success) and the odds of success given their age will be lower.

You have three children, are already forty, and want to subject your already tired self to this process? Going through egg retrieval is hardly going to give you more stamina and energy.

Team DH.

If we had started our family 5 years earlier, I would have loved to have more kids.

I guess I don’t feel done yet. It is an odd feeling to know you are done having kids and probably won’t physically be able to have more even if you want to.

No, this is not an odd feeling, it's a feeling that virtually all women experience at some point.

I would wait until you feel ready to have another, then try to conceive the old-fashioned way. If your husband is on board, of course. If it happens, congratulations, if not, then enjoy the three you have.

Anonymous wrote:You'll pay more due to your age (you'll need more eggs to increase your changes of success) and the odds of success given their age will be lower.

You have three children, are already forty, and want to subject your already tired self to this process? Going through egg retrieval is hardly going to give you more stamina and energy.

Team DH.

My oldest graduated high school when I was your age. You do not need more children. Team DH.