Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Does your friend keep an eye on kids' internet use at all?

No, I don't think she monitors it.

I was googling and found this post on Reddit about similar situation and everyone is like "oh, it's just a close bond between siblings"

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/2wwemq/24f_i_am_uncomfortable_with_my_boyfriends/?utm_source=amp&utm_medium=&utm_content=post_body

OP, those are ADULTS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be child abuse (child on child abuse) please let DCF know

+1
Make the call. OP.

- A person who was abused as a child

If he's abusing her wouldn't she tell her mom? Wouldn't she be sad? She doesn't seem depressed.

If she’s tried to stop it before and the parents did nothing, it is highly unlikely she would try that route again.

I would have a serious conversation with your friend about boundaries. I have a nephew who has always been a snuggler. He’s 13 now and my girls are 7 and 9. My sister has been extremely firm with him about boundaries and personal space. Yes, that means he’s no longer able to snuggle my girls during movies like he could when he was 7 and they were 3.

If she doesn’t do anything after you talk to her, I’d be prepared to lose the friendship and call cps. While there may not be any significant action by cps, simple getting contacted will likely open her eyes to social norms or at least stand up for the girl.

When parents don’t teach their boys how to behave towards girls, including their sisters, it’s just awful. Let’s say there’s nothing beyond what’s going on in the open. He’s still being taught the wrong things about consent. Good luck to his high school and college female classmates.

Excellent response, PP!

I am so livid while reading this that I don’t even know if I can write.

Don’t you know ANYTHING about abused children, aoP?!?!? What the f is wrong with you???

Abused children don’t have to SEEM depressed to you. Can you not imagine that the child may feel a demand to appear down for everyone else’s sake?!

Look at her horrible mother. She sees that the boy is touching the daughter without her daughter’s consent and hse “lets them work it out”, which means, expects the girl to give in and notbother her. She lets her son take whatever he wants.

The daughter has learned from this. Of COURSE she is not going to tell her mother!!! Her job is to keep the peace, as you have seen. She cannot advocate for herself.

Very likely, if you tell the mom that you think something may be off, the mom is going to get defensive and angrily confront the child and ask her if her brother has ever hurt her. The daughter will NEVER say he did, even if he hurt her that morning. She has learned that she must keep the peace and that her brother gets what he wants and she sees and fears her mother’s upset and doesn’t want to make a big deal or draw attention to herself.

The best you can do with your friend is make undeniable observations. “I see that Joe keeps overpowering Mary physically.” “I see that Mary never kisses Joe back or jump on him like he jumps on her.” “I see Mary flinch when Joe jumped on her right now.”

Expect to lose this friendship. Do what you can.

Anonymous wrote:
Does your friend keep an eye on kids' internet use at all?

No, I don't think she monitors it.

I was googling and found this post on Reddit about similar situation and everyone is like "oh, it's just a close bond between siblings"

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/2wwemq/24f_i_am_uncomfortable_with_my_boyfriends/?utm_source=amp&utm_medium=&utm_content=post_body

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he gone through puberty yet?

If that is how it has always been and he hasn't yet gone through puberty then I don't think it is that weird. If the sister likes the affection and the kids are just close then physical affection isn't a bad thing.

OP here. He was weird like this a few years ago. For example, he would get on top of her on the floor and lie there and kiss her.

I don't know how she feels about it anymore. She sometimes be resists but he's strong and always gets his way, while parents just let them work things out. I think the girl just goes along. Feels like there are no boundaries respected at all. If she says no he doesn't stop and the parents just think kids will work it out themselves.

When you say he would lie there and kiss her, do you mean on the cheek or mouth? Either way, I would be very concerned about what happens in their shared room if he does things like this out in the open. Also, when parents "let the kids work it out" in a situation where there is a clear imbalance of power, the older, stronger kids will always get their way, especially if they know the parent/s will do nothing to stop it.

Does your friend keep an eye on kids' internet use at all?

I'm not a troll. It just seems I'm the only one who sees this as a problem in their circle. I'll talk to their mom.

I hope this b!tch is a troll.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Not okay. Parents seem clueless or in denial.

Does the girl trust you? Can you talk to her privately?

I don't get one on one time with her and she doesn't seem depressed or upset. She just goes along. Sometimes protests. But not enough to make it look like it's a problem.

I’ll be annoyed if you are a troll. If true, this is obviously a huge problem for both kids. Worse for the victim, of course, but this had the potential to cause devastating problems for all involved for the rest of their lives. You know you need to intervene or report. How is this even a question?

Anonymous wrote:

Not okay. Parents seem clueless or in denial.

Does the girl trust you? Can you talk to her privately?

I don't get one on one time with her and she doesn't seem depressed or upset. She just goes along. Sometimes protests. But not enough to make it look like it's a problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be child abuse (child on child abuse) please let DCF know

+1
Make the call. OP.

- A person who was abused as a child

If he's abusing her wouldn't she tell her mom? Wouldn't she be sad? She doesn't seem depressed.

She knows her mom is a useless twit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has he gone through puberty yet?

If that is how it has always been and he hasn't yet gone through puberty then I don't think it is that weird. If the sister likes the affection and the kids are just close then physical affection isn't a bad thing.

OP here. He was weird like this a few years ago. For example, he would get on top of her on the floor and lie there and kiss her.

I don't know how she feels about it anymore. She sometimes be resists but he's strong and always gets his way, while parents just let them work things out. I think the girl just goes along. Feels like there are no boundaries respected at all. If she says no he doesn't stop and the parents just think kids will work it out themselves.

Not okay. Parents seem clueless or in denial.

Does the girl trust you? Can you talk to her privately?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may be child abuse (child on child abuse) please let DCF know

+1
Make the call. OP.

- A person who was abused as a child

If he's abusing her wouldn't she tell her mom? Wouldn't she be sad? She doesn't seem depressed.

I don’t know what to say, but maybe talk to a therapist about the right way to approach the issue. At the very least, they need to stop sharing a room!