Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 18:47     Subject: How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:I think of this comes from the fact that women are more successful then ever in their own. For a lot of women, the salary or job security of the man are not important at least at the initial stages of the relationship. Dating sites bear this out, most of the women are chasing the top 20% of men. Where does this leave men who are not attractive and do not have any other personal or economic success? The easy thing for them to do is to blame feminism (typically defined as equality in the workplace) for the lack of their success. They can claim that women are taking “their jobs” and not respecting them for their looks or any other quality that may have attracted a partner easily in the pass. Obviously, there is a lot of flaws in this thinking.


Yes, so much this. Women used to have to settle and no longer need to- they can support themselves etc and can even have children as a single parent if they choose. From what I’ve seen, the bottom 1/3 to 1/2 of men have little to offer these days and women would be better off staying single rather than marry them. Not just referring to money either- but so many men are very immature, have addiction issues, mental health issues etc. More trouble than they are worth.

Not a man hater in the least- most are great. Flaws sure, just like women, but great overall. But there is undeniably a bottom group that really isn’t marriage material
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 18:40     Subject: Re:How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it is mostly angry men using the Internet for an outlet, I don't know any guys who actually believe in total control masculinity beyond whatever jokes guys might make while they're having a beer. The "make me a sandwich" type stuff.

My wife and I both work and treat each other as equals. She's not a feminist really, I mean she stands up for herself but she doesn't go reading the Internet looking for stories of men behaving badly. And even if she did, my response would be flat out that unless I'm personally behaving that way or treating her badly, don't argue with or take it out on me.


That's how I feel, but apparently I'm part of the patriarchy if I don't make a scene whenever I hear a dude saying something anti-woman.


Well you are. You could at least gently call them out with a "dude not cool" or something
Are you OK with people making racist jokes around you?


No he’s not. He’s not at any of the meetings.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 18:23     Subject: How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Lol. My STBX might say this. Whenever (before I gave up) I tried to tell him it was unfair that he wasn't sharing in the household work, he would claim I was just obsessed with fairness.


who worked more and provided more income?


This shouldn't matter
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 18:08     Subject: Re:How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My H blames our divorce on me marking a lot of money, he thinks I would stay if I couldn’t afford to support myself.

Upon announcing my divorce many friend told me they wished they could afford to leave.

Not exactly what you asked but similar.


Wow. This is terrible.


Well, based on her friends' reactions, he may be onto something.

No so much a cause, but "necessary but not sufficient."
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 18:06     Subject: How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:I am married. I have only heard comments like this rarely in many years, and in all cases it was from a man who was pretty delusional about himself. So, for instance, I remember a man who was not groomed (I mean he smelled) who was convinced the reason he didn't get dates was "feminism," when in fact it was that you could not get within five feet of him without wishing for noseplugs. But he was convinced it was feminism.

Personally if I were dating, blaming feminism would be a huge glaring red flag. I have only heard it from men you'd want to stay far away from.


This. It's a lot easier to blame your failings on "the system" or "those women" than to confront your own inadequacies.

- A happily married man.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:56     Subject: How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
I think of this comes from the fact that women are more successful then ever in their own. For a lot of women, the salary or job security of the man are not important at least at the initial stages of the relationship. Dating sites bear this out, most of the women are chasing the top 20% of men. Where does this leave men who are not attractive and do not have any other personal or economic success? The easy thing for them to do is to blame feminism (typically defined as equality in the workplace) for the lack of their success. They can claim that women are taking “their jobs” and not respecting them for their looks or any other quality that may have attracted a partner easily in the pass. Obviously, there is a lot of flaws in this thinking.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 17:53     Subject: Re:How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:I think it is mostly angry men using the Internet for an outlet, I don't know any guys who actually believe in total control masculinity beyond whatever jokes guys might make while they're having a beer. The "make me a sandwich" type stuff.

My wife and I both work and treat each other as equals. She's not a feminist really, I mean she stands up for herself but she doesn't go reading the Internet looking for stories of men behaving badly. And even if she did, my response would be flat out that unless I'm personally behaving that way or treating her badly, don't argue with or take it out on me.


Dude, based on this description, your wife is a feminist. Sounds like you are too! Weird, huh?
Lots of men single or divorced don’t think feminism is to blame. Especially considering that most of them have moms, sisters, and female friends who want equality. Equality is the basis of feminism.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 16:59     Subject: How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Yes. My ex-husband.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 16:52     Subject: Re:How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:

I tell all young men to avoid marriage at all costs, and if they are dumb enough to get married, don't have kids. If they're dumb enough to marry and have kids, just have one child and make sure your wife is always working and always have a backup plan and hidden savings ($40,000) so you can hire a good attorney.


Well that’s funny cuz I’d tell any woman the same.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 16:50     Subject: Re:How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:My H blames our divorce on me marking a lot of money, he thinks I would stay if I couldn’t afford to support myself.

Upon announcing my divorce many friend told me they wished they could afford to leave.

Not exactly what you asked but similar.


Wow. This is terrible.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 16:45     Subject: How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
I don't treat my "singledom" as a problem. It's my choice so I certainly don't blame anyone but myself for making that choice. There is no better place than this board, and all the miserable married people who post, to convince man (if he needs convincing) to never get married or in my case, never again.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 15:17     Subject: How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Lol. My STBX might say this. Whenever (before I gave up) I tried to tell him it was unfair that he wasn't sharing in the household work, he would claim I was just obsessed with fairness.


who worked more and provided more income?


Wouldn't matter, both income is theirs.

Home or working out side the home is work fyi.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 11:16     Subject: How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Lol. My STBX might say this. Whenever (before I gave up) I tried to tell him it was unfair that he wasn't sharing in the household work, he would claim I was just obsessed with fairness.


who worked more and provided more income?


Me.
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 11:13     Subject: Re:How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it is mostly angry men using the Internet for an outlet, I don't know any guys who actually believe in total control masculinity beyond whatever jokes guys might make while they're having a beer. The "make me a sandwich" type stuff.

My wife and I both work and treat each other as equals. She's not a feminist really, I mean she stands up for herself but she doesn't go reading the Internet looking for stories of men behaving badly. And even if she did, my response would be flat out that unless I'm personally behaving that way or treating her badly, don't argue with or take it out on me.


That's how I feel, but apparently I'm part of the patriarchy if I don't make a scene whenever I hear a dude saying something anti-woman.


Well you are. You could at least gently call them out with a "dude not cool" or something
Are you OK with people making racist jokes around you?
Anonymous
Post 08/12/2019 11:01     Subject: Re:How many men blame the singles on/ divorce on feminism?
Anonymous wrote:I blame the family law system, which leads women to believe that they will get everything. My ex-wife spent years bullying me, threatening divorce, and telling me if divorce happened she'd get everything--all the time with the children, all my money, retirement, house, etc. She had no incentive to behave well or participate in counseling because all she had to do was drive me from the home and she'd win the lottery.

It didn't work out that way for her, but only because I fought like hell and spent a lot on attorneys. But many other men haven't been so lucky.

I tell all young men to avoid marriage at all costs, and if they are dumb enough to get married, don't have kids. If they're dumb enough to marry and have kids, just have one child and make sure your wife is always working and always have a backup plan and hidden savings ($40,000) so you can hire a good attorney.




Crying with laughter at how wrong your view of the system being anti male is. I am divorced. Father takes no parenting responsibilities. Father pays less than half of cost of raising kids. DC1 is a girl. She will never get married or have children. She has seen up close and personal how an irresponsible parent can torpedo the other spouse/parent’s life. Sadly, when she looks around at other families, she sees very few men who have taken on equal parenting responsibilities.

There’s a reason millenial marriage rates are down/later, and for the most part it’s because women see no benefit to participating, but, in fact, only downside.