Op here. I explained why the trip is important to us in my original post. We don’t see each other often, especially all together, and getting the group together is important to all of us. But I’m not sure it warrants us leaving our kid right before his first day of school. My feeling is that if school starts the week before, then we will go. Does anyone know when MCPS sets its 2020 calendar?

A wedding of a sibling or best friend? I'd go.

A 40th birthday party? No way.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do it, but my kid is particularly bad at transitions and won't know any of the kids in kindergarten.

Same here. Definitely depends on the kid. Some would be fine, others not so much.

I wouldn't miss the first week of school. My kid would be a tired mess with a lot of emotions to get out that week and it wouldn't be fair to him or the grandparents to leave them to deal with it.

Or it may have been awhile since they've all gotten together and the friend is just using it as an excuse to get them all together. People will make more effort if there's a reason for the gathering than just 'it's been awhile'.

Anonymous wrote:No, I wouldn't. I'm not a martyr at all, but the first day of K is a big deal for kids. As a parent, I would have been really sad to miss it. My answer wouldn't change even if the first day is earlier: it's a big transition, period.

I also think the timing is bizarre, assuming the hosts have kids, as do others in your social circle.

+1

I wouldn't, but if this were really DH's friend, I'd be totally fine with him going.

I would not miss the first day of Kindergarten. My son is starting kindergarten this year, and he is excited but he has also made comments that he just wants to stay at his pre-school. He will be nervous and excited, and I am making certain accommodations to at work to make sure I am there to support him through this transition. There is also an hour “meet and greet” scheduled the Thursday before the first day, and I don’t want to miss that either. It won’t be the end of the world if you do decide to go on the trip, but for me my priorities are always my children. Personally I think people make too big of a deal about 40 year old birthdays anyway. I feel like at that age we are a bit old to be planning grand celebrations for ourselves, and I say that as a 39 year old who will be turning 40 shortly.

Anonymous wrote:I'd send the person who is closest to the birthday celebrant.

But really - you do need to start adjusting your social lives. A 40th birthday is not really something to prioritize in terms of time and money. Is everyone in your group going to now expect to have destination 40th birthdays everyone attends??

It might be different if the party was for a single friend who had showed up for all the showers and weddings. Then I think I would make the effort.

I posted earlier that I wouldn't go, but it really comes down to this. That's way too high maintenance a friend for me. We have close friends in various circles, and at some point, we've matured out of these kinds of things.

This person is both your best friend, and your spouse's? That's kinda weird?

I'd send whoever is closest to the birthday person.

But my oldest is starting K this fall, and there's no way I would miss any part of her first week. Mainly because I am her soft spot to land after hard things, and this will be hard. She's going to love it, I know! But the transition will be rocky, I know that too.

No, I wouldn't. I'm not a martyr at all, but the first day of K is a big deal for kids. As a parent, I would have been really sad to miss it. My answer wouldn't change even if the first day is earlier: it's a big transition, period.

I also think the timing is bizarre, assuming the hosts have kids, as do others in your social circle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think MCPS plans a pre-Labor Day start next year.

I was one of the "wouldn't go" votes. If school started the week before Labor Day, I'd probably go.

This. I think the actual start date is important to know here.

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious, does the birthday friend have kids? Presumably most kids will be starting school around that date. Do most of these friends have kids roughly the same age as yours?

The birthday family has 3 kids (11, 9 and 3), but they live in Ohio and school starts for them mid August. Plus none of them are starting a transition year. The other couples have younger kids none of whom will be starting at a new school that week.

If MCPS started August 16 I don’t think I’d be asking the question. My DS is really good with transitions but will be at the same full day preschool for 3 years and none of the kids in his class will be going to his K school

I'd send the person who is closest to the birthday celebrant.

But really - you do need to start adjusting your social lives. A 40th birthday is not really something to prioritize in terms of time and money. Is everyone in your group going to now expect to have destination 40th birthdays everyone attends??

It might be different if the party was for a single friend who had showed up for all the showers and weddings. Then I think I would make the effort.

Anonymous wrote:I think MCPS plans a pre-Labor Day start next year.

I was one of the "wouldn't go" votes. If school started the week before Labor Day, I'd probably go.