Op here. This family is like our family and we generally don’t nickel and dime. (We bought groceries; they bought drinks and it may not be even but it’s fine for all). In fact, that’s why I was surprised everything was already decided so I came
here to see if I am unaware of etiquette. Their room is like three times the size of ours but I guess one of us had to get it. And they booked and paid deposit. Now I know and like PP said, I will explicitly say, “let’s pick the rooms once we’re all there,” the next time we vacation together because I do enjoy their company. And our kids like each other. Thanks for validating / acknowledging my feelings. We are paying a ton of $ for this house so I was kind of annoyed.

If paying equally we usually flip a coin for who gets the better master. Then whoever didn’t get the better master gets to choose first of the kids rooms.

Its crummy. You should rotate who gets the better room or the family getting the better room pays more.

We go with the same two couples every year so the first two years we drew out of a hat, the. The third year the couple who never got the big suite got it, and now we just rotate. I don’t think it’s fair to arrive extra early and call dibs before everyone gets there.

Anonymous wrote:What’s the etiquette about choosing rooms in a vacation home? We’ve shared homes two times and both times, arrived about 20 minutes after the other family. Both times, the rooms were all designated by the time we got there. (And the other family chose the bigger, better master suite.) Is this typical? Does the person who booked the place get first dibs, even though we’re splitting the cost evenly? Or should we hustle to arrive first next time? Personally, I would wait until everyone is present to choose rooms but just wanted to see what conventional wisdom is on this topic.

As others have suggested, you shouldn't be paying the same amount if the rooms vary in terms of desirability. Most houses are not symmetrical, so there is almost always a "better" master. Get a floor plan if possible, and divy up the rooms according to view, size, en suite, other. If one family is willing to pay more and the other prefers to save, you're s. If not, you're all set. Agree in advance on the "price" of each room (kids' rooms too). If there are still hard feelings, just vacation on your own because there will be smaller issues around food, activities, etc.

Person who books and/or pays for the security deposit gets the master (if it's just 2 families). We've done it 4 times now and zero issues.

Anonymous wrote:IME it's the person who claims they can't sleep in a queen because xyz, or says they'll only stay in that house if they get that room, etc. They'll probably also surprise you with their au pair coming and taking the bunk room that you were hoping the older kids could use so you could have adult time on vacation.

Yeah, we vacation alone now.

OMG, I feel like you've vacationed with the same people we've vacationed with.

IME it's the person who claims they can't sleep in a queen because xyz, or says they'll only stay in that house if they get that room, etc. They'll probably also surprise you with their au pair coming and taking the bunk room that you were hoping the older kids could use so you could have adult time on vacation.

Yeah, we vacation alone now.

If you vacation a lot, you should switch off who gets the master. BIL gets the master this time and next time you get it.

We vacation with my parents and always give them the master (even though we have an infant and need more room for the pack n play in our room). No reason other than to be nice.

Anonymous wrote:What’s the etiquette about choosing rooms in a vacation home? We’ve shared homes two times and both times, arrived about 20 minutes after the other family. Both times, the rooms were all designated by the time we got there. (And the other family chose the bigger, better master suite.) Is this typical? Does the person who booked the place get first dibs, even though we’re splitting the cost evenly? Or should we hustle to arrive first next time? Personally, I would wait until everyone is present to choose rooms but just wanted to see what conventional wisdom is on this topic.

They should have waited or checked in to see if you were alternating master suite since they had it last time. The only reason not to would be if they paid more or booked the rental. Even if I’d personally booked it, I’d still offer to alternate best rooms if I were planning to vacation as a group on an ongoing basis. Do they share everything else evenly? Hope they plan to help clean on the last day....

Offer to pay a larger share for the bigger room.

I'm typically the one who does all the research and planning and books the house. If someone else calls dibs on a bedroom then that will be the last time we vacation together. Manners, people.

Anonymous wrote:Dd you book the house? If yes, then next time you vacation together you choose the rooms first. I’d be up front about this before you leave for the house.

This isn’t the type of family I’d want to vacation with again. This type of selfishness permeates everything they do.

Yes, this. It doesn't just stop with the rooms.

The best way to solve this is to "auction" off the master. So let's say that the rental cost is $2,000, and the presumption is a 50-50 split. So you say "who's willing to pay 1050 for the master. You would expect everyone to bid here. Keep increasing the share for the MBR incrementally until you have only one person willing to pay it.

Why I don't vacation with other families. Lets take the relaxing and make it as not relaxing as possible.