We moved our girls around each time someone left for college. The oldest had the large beautiful room for the longest but each of them had a couple of years in it. I think it would be wasteful and ridiculous for the best bedroom to be left dormant for four years while the child is away at college. The hope is that they will only return for a short time after college and then find their own independence.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a pretty big sign of immaturity that the oldest wants to hoard the room while she’s at college. You need to step in and be the parent.

No kidding super selfish attitude. I'd let the oldest know if she wants to be immature and selfish she can keep the room and head off to community college for the year.

My mother in law has two bedrooms enshrined to DH's sisters. They have never cleared their stuff out. They are 48 and 52 with homes of their own!

Dp Community college should not be seen as punishment. I hate when people say this which is similar to people threatening to send their kid to gasp..public school! I think they should switch but, perhaps the older daughter is feeling insecure and sad that change is coming ( I'm sure excited too) and that is why she is clinging to her old room?

Anonymous wrote:It’s a pretty big sign of immaturity that the oldest wants to hoard the room while she’s at college. You need to step in and be the parent.

No kidding super selfish attitude. I'd let the oldest know if she wants to be immature and selfish she can keep the room and head off to community college for the year.

My mother in law has two bedrooms enshrined to DH's sisters. They have never cleared their stuff out. They are 48 and 52 with homes of their own!

Thanks so much everyone! It’s clear that they will be switching rooms. Youngest kid is a boy who has never cared about what room he has and finds it comical that this discussion keeps coming up.

I have already told my kids that yds gets ods's bedroom when ods leaves for college. They knew about it from when they first get their own rooms.

Of course you move odc out and let the two younger choose bedrooms and odc gets what is left. mdc gets priority, ydc gets second choice. Odc is acting really immature here.

Anonymous wrote:I would NOT switch rooms. That will make your eldest feel as if you are kicking them out/making them unwelcome at home.

Just so you know it is exactly this type of attitude that causes kids to still be living at home when they are 30. Parents who don't understand that the goal of raising kids is for them to leave and be an adult.

Move the oldest, who can use the guest room when she comes back as a guest. Don’t encourage moving back.

I would swap for sure. That's crazy to let a room stay empty when a child at home would really appreciate it.

If the middle child doesn't already have her own bathroom, maybe that could be the compromise. She can take it over when the oldest isn't there. I wouldn't kick my kid out of his bedroom when he'll be back in a few months.

The youngest should get it after the middle one. I get why the oldest is mad as they feel displaced. I wouldn't want any child having a patio with an easy exit out.

It’s a pretty big sign of immaturity that the oldest wants to hoard the room while she’s at college. You need to step in and be the parent.

If I was the middle child I would be really upset that my parents preferred to let a room sit empty than let me use it.

If you let the firstborn decide when to give up her room, she could very well decide to keep it all through college just to make visits easier. What if she decides she can give it up in 4 years just when the 14 year old is going to be a senior? The middle child gets skipped over. That’s really mean to your middle child and it gives your oldest too much control over her sister. I wouldn’t want to create this dynamic between my daughters. This is why you need to be the parent and say everyone is going to get a turn in the nice room. Done.

I would allow the switch. Why let the best room sit empty all year? Oldest is transitioning to adulthood and doesn’t live at home anymore.

Swap. Everyone should get a chance at the ensuite.

I'm the oldest child and had the bigger bedroom. I swapped with my sister right before I left for college. It was no big deal, and I understood it was the fairest thing to do.