Anonymous wrote:My heart wanted more than two but I honestly just didn’t feel I could do 3+ very well. Mess and chaos are hard for me. I truly envy parents who can handle 3+.

I still have twinges (my two are 11 and 8) but when things are feeling busy/chaotic I often feel relieved there isn’t one more.

+1 this is me exactly. And my 2 are fairly difficult. So I often feel relief we stopped at 2.

My heart wanted more than two but I honestly just didn’t feel I could do 3+ very well. Mess and chaos are hard for me. I truly envy parents who can handle 3+.

I still have twinges (my two are 11 and 8) but when things are feeling busy/chaotic I often feel relieved there isn’t one more.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had one and then had twins. It’s been intense. Two would have been ideal.

How old are they now?

They are two and almost five. No one gets enough attention.

Two is a hard age - it'll be better when they're 3.5.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had one and then had twins. It’s been intense. Two would have been ideal.

How old are they now?

They are two and almost five. No one gets enough attention.

We always wanted three, so we built our whole life around it: for example, we bought a cheap house for our income to handle maternity leaves (I am the breadwinner) and years of daycare payments. The third is 18 months and we are just emerging into being able to do things that aren’t geared exclusively at little kids.

I love love babies and toddlers but I have been pleasantly surprised by how much I love the bigger kid stuff too.

We always wanted three, and our first two were not super hard infants, so sticking to the plan was easier than it could have been. Also, we had our first when I (the wife) was 35, so we didn't have much time to spare. We waited a few months for the third because I'd just started a new job, and wanted to make sure I could use FMLA.

If two doesn't feel easy, I wouldn't recommend having a third. I *love* having three, but we've also built our life so that we're not overly burdened by it (mostly by choosing flexible jobs, which we're lucky to have the option for).

We knew we wanted a third from the time our second was born. She was a really easy baby (as babies go) and is still a very sweet and easygoing kid. Deciding to have the second was rough — I had a pretty unpleasant delivery experience and PPD/A with our first and I was scared to do it again. Now the first is 6.5, the second is 3.5, and the third is 16mo and I can’t even imagine getting pregnant again soon...we’ll revisit in a year or two. But #3 is the fussiest neediest of our kids so far.