Anonymous wrote:Be grateful that you aren’t the sick one.

Anonymous wrote:Be grateful that you aren’t the sick one.

Anonymous wrote:DP here. My DH is sole breadwinner and I am SAHM with chronic illness. He has taken care of me, our two kids, and the house for more than 6-7 years. He helped me to get help for my condition and after a long time, I have become somewhat functional again. Yes, we outsource a lot of work and I was able to at least direct the people we hired to help out but it was not a great situation. I am so thankful to my DH for not losing his patience with me and being the most compassionate person. I sympathize with your situation and I know it is tough. The only path forward is to outsource as much as you can and get a lot of insurance for both of you. Hopefully, he will recover somewhat and things will become better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have my sympathy, OP.

My mother has been chronically ill her whole adult life, with multiple sclerosis. Chronic illness does something to a lot of patients: it makes then self-centered. If they cannot contribute, they start making light of others’ burdens out of self-defense, otherwise in a busy household they would feel guilty all the time. My father has done everything in the house for many years, was the sole breadwinner as well, and has up til now, at 70 years old, displayed angelic patience. He was rarely appreciated fairly by my mother. Now he is starting to weaken cognitively, losing his filter, and gets upset at her... I feel the next decade isn’t going to be pretty.

It’s SO HARD to get out of that cycle, and it takes humans with a high degree of emotional intelligence to manage the guilt/resentment, especially in periods of stress. I recommend finding a therapist specialized in dealing with chronic diseases, particularly the one your husband has.

Good luck to both of you, and your kids.

That sounds more like dementia and you sound like a pretty mean person. She is not self-centered and you don't really understand it given your post.

Unless you have been married to someone with MS, you have no idea what you’re talking about.

I cared for someone with dementia, far worse for many years. I have a chronic illness so yes, I know how it feels. Thank goodness I'm not married to you.

Anonymous wrote:Be grateful that you aren’t the sick one.

Anonymous wrote:So he’s chronically ill and you want him to operate as a normal person?

Accept the fact that he can only do so much, be thankful that he is able to work and get therapy and outside help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have my sympathy, OP.

My mother has been chronically ill her whole adult life, with multiple sclerosis. Chronic illness does something to a lot of patients: it makes then self-centered. If they cannot contribute, they start making light of others’ burdens out of self-defense, otherwise in a busy household they would feel guilty all the time. My father has done everything in the house for many years, was the sole breadwinner as well, and has up til now, at 70 years old, displayed angelic patience. He was rarely appreciated fairly by my mother. Now he is starting to weaken cognitively, losing his filter, and gets upset at her... I feel the next decade isn’t going to be pretty.

It’s SO HARD to get out of that cycle, and it takes humans with a high degree of emotional intelligence to manage the guilt/resentment, especially in periods of stress. I recommend finding a therapist specialized in dealing with chronic diseases, particularly the one your husband has.

Good luck to both of you, and your kids.

That sounds more like dementia and you sound like a pretty mean person. She is not self-centered and you don't really understand it given your post.

Unless you have been married to someone with MS, you have no idea what you’re talking about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You have my sympathy, OP.

My mother has been chronically ill her whole adult life, with multiple sclerosis. Chronic illness does something to a lot of patients: it makes then self-centered. If they cannot contribute, they start making light of others’ burdens out of self-defense, otherwise in a busy household they would feel guilty all the time. My father has done everything in the house for many years, was the sole breadwinner as well, and has up til now, at 70 years old, displayed angelic patience. He was rarely appreciated fairly by my mother. Now he is starting to weaken cognitively, losing his filter, and gets upset at her... I feel the next decade isn’t going to be pretty.

It’s SO HARD to get out of that cycle, and it takes humans with a high degree of emotional intelligence to manage the guilt/resentment, especially in periods of stress. I recommend finding a therapist specialized in dealing with chronic diseases, particularly the one your husband has.

Good luck to both of you, and your kids.

That sounds more like dementia and you sound like a pretty mean person. She is not self-centered and you don't really understand it given your post.

Anonymous wrote:
You have my sympathy, OP.

My mother has been chronically ill her whole adult life, with multiple sclerosis. Chronic illness does something to a lot of patients: it makes then self-centered. If they cannot contribute, they start making light of others’ burdens out of self-defense, otherwise in a busy household they would feel guilty all the time. My father has done everything in the house for many years, was the sole breadwinner as well, and has up til now, at 70 years old, displayed angelic patience. He was rarely appreciated fairly by my mother. Now he is starting to weaken cognitively, losing his filter, and gets upset at her... I feel the next decade isn’t going to be pretty.

It’s SO HARD to get out of that cycle, and it takes humans with a high degree of emotional intelligence to manage the guilt/resentment, especially in periods of stress. I recommend finding a therapist specialized in dealing with chronic diseases, particularly the one your husband has.

Good luck to both of you, and your kids.