Invite who you want. Then DONT post the pictures on fb. Simple. Nobody will care they weren’t there because they won’t know it wasn’t just family.

Anonymous wrote:There's no reason why you can't host at your home unless you live in an apartment. A SFH has a kitchen, dining room and living room...and likely a family room, backyard, porch/deck, etc. We had nearly 100 people after a funeral at my sibling's 1960s 3 bedroom house. NBD.

Set up food and drinks in both the kitchen and dining room. Nice/sturdy paper/plastic plates. It doesn't need to be catered.

They already said they live in an apt with no outdoor space.

There's no reason why you can't host at your home unless you live in an apartment. A SFH has a kitchen, dining room and living room...and likely a family room, backyard, porch/deck, etc. We had nearly 100 people after a funeral at my sibling's 1960s 3 bedroom house. NBD.

Set up food and drinks in both the kitchen and dining room. Nice/sturdy paper/plastic plates. It doesn't need to be catered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last baby naming I went to was in a room at a synagogue and had bagels and lox for everyone. I can’t imagine it cost 5k

How nice for YOU. The last baby naming I went to was at MY HOME, where we served quality food, good champagne, and hired a high schooler to entertain the preschool/toddlers during the ceremony. We had 75-80 people. I can easily imagine it cost around $3k. Not everyone is satisfied with grocery store bagels and lox.

Typo fixed:

Sorry you felt the need to brag about how you overdid your naming ceremony. It's ok for other people to be more low key.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last baby naming I went to was in a room at a synagogue and had bagels and lox for everyone. I can’t imagine it cost 5k

How nice for YOU. The last baby naming I went to was at MY HOME, where we served quality food, good champagne, and hired a high schooler to entertain the preschool/toddlers during the ceremony. We had 75-80 people. I can easily imagine it cost around $3k. Not everyone is satisfied with grocery store bagels and lox.

Sorry you felt the need to brag about how you overdid your naming ceremony. It's ok for other people do be more low key.

I'm Christian, but wanted to say that family pretty much forced their way into our baptism and then followed me back to our house for the baptism luncheon. I was having a catered lunch, but ended up not having enough tables and chairs so it became a standing around eating kind of thing. We too tried to make it close family (siblings, grandparents) only and our close friends (godparents), but it was the extended family that added up. People always think they're "no extra work" but it really adds up, particularly 6 weeks postpartum.

For my 2nd baby's I actually sent paper invites that specified who was invited and it still grew exponentially.

Anonymous wrote:You are religious enough to have a naming ceremony but don’t belong to a synagogue?

Np - this isn’t unusual. Even Jews who aren’t affiliated (yet) want to observe this tradition. Plus, most charge room rental fees to members too. In terms of the Op, I assume if grandma and grandpa had a house that would fit everyone they would have offered.

We did family and close friends at our house. We got bagels and lox. You could keep things much more simple if you wanted to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last baby naming I went to was in a room at a synagogue and had bagels and lox for everyone. I can’t imagine it cost 5k

The problem is that we don’t belong to a synagogue so the rates are higher. The room is like $1K for 3 hours, then you have catering high isn’t cheap even if minimal, cost for the rabbi, etc. It just all adds up. I have called like 5 synagogues and it’s all the same.

Do you have to make it a party? You could maybe host the oneg after a service and just append it to the service instead of having to rent a room, etc. If you'd be a prospective member at least, I be someone would offer a creative lower-cost solution.

FWIW, our second kid was a boy, so we cheated our daughter and included her naming ceremony with his bris (doesn't seem so feminist, but they're close in age, and without a time-sensitive reason to have the naming, we didn't get around to it)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last baby naming I went to was in a room at a synagogue and had bagels and lox for everyone. I can’t imagine it cost 5k

How nice for YOU. The last baby naming I went to was at MY HOME, where we served quality food, good champagne, and hired a high schooler to entertain the preschool/toddlers during the ceremony. We had 75-80 people. I can easily imagine it cost around $3k. Not everyone is satisfied with grocery store bagels and lox.

I think pp was just describing one perfectly reasonable way that it could be done cheaply. You sound offended somehow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last baby naming I went to was in a room at a synagogue and had bagels and lox for everyone. I can’t imagine it cost 5k

How nice for YOU. The last baby naming I went to was at MY HOME, where we served quality food, good champagne, and hired a high schooler to entertain the preschool/toddlers during the ceremony. We had 75-80 people. I can easily imagine it cost around $3k. Not everyone is satisfied with grocery store bagels and lox.

Serious question, why do you have to imagine how much it cost if it was in your home?

Because it was a few years ago, because I don't keep these figures memorized, because my husband handled paying everyone, etc.

Invite who you want.
We had the same dilemma and a small house.
Invited family and a couple close friends who would get the whole baby naming thing. No one who was not invited was offended. Total of 15 people. Ordered some lovely catering and had champagne and done.

You are religious enough to have a naming ceremony but don’t belong to a synagogue?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last baby naming I went to was in a room at a synagogue and had bagels and lox for everyone. I can’t imagine it cost 5k

How nice for YOU. The last baby naming I went to was at MY HOME, where we served quality food, good champagne, and hired a high schooler to entertain the preschool/toddlers during the ceremony. We had 75-80 people. I can easily imagine it cost around $3k. Not everyone is satisfied with grocery store bagels and lox.

Serious question, why do you have to imagine how much it cost if it was in your home?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The last baby naming I went to was in a room at a synagogue and had bagels and lox for everyone. I can’t imagine it cost 5k

The problem is that we don’t belong to a synagogue so the rates are higher. The room is like $1K for 3 hours, then you have catering high isn’t cheap even if minimal, cost for the rabbi, etc. It just all adds up. I have called like 5 synagogues and it’s all the same.

Can one of your friends host at her synagogue (this relieving you of renter’s fees or at least reducing them)? Or does someone have a condo or apartment party room?