Anonymous
07/19/2019 15:40
Subject: Families with big gaps in the middle
My parents had 3 kids 3 years apart each.
When we were 13, 16, & 19, they had another baby. Then 3 years later, one more.
So we were, 22, 19, 16, 3, & newborn.
They did have the fifth in part so the third wouldn’t be like an only child.
We are all adults now (youngest is in college) and all pretty close. The younger two are wonderful uncles to they nieces & nephews.
When we were 13, 16, & 19, they had another baby. Then 3 years later, one more.
So we were, 22, 19, 16, 3, & newborn.
They did have the fifth in part so the third wouldn’t be like an only child.
We are all adults now (youngest is in college) and all pretty close. The younger two are wonderful uncles to they nieces & nephews.
Anonymous
07/19/2019 12:47
Subject: Families with big gaps in the middle
OP again. Thank you all. I had been kind of obsessing about trying to decide if we were done or not, because things are rough right now and I’m looking forward to not having a baby any more! But there was this idea in the back of my head that if we did want more we shouldn’t wait too long... Anyway, I know obsessing about it helps no one and I’m trying to stop, but the idea that whatever happens in the next couple years it’s not a fair accompli sure helps.
Anonymous
07/19/2019 12:20
Subject: Re:Families with big gaps in the middle
My H is two years younger than his older brother, and 11 years older than his younger brother. And H and yBIL have always been close, and still are. My H made an effort to connect with his younger brother, spending time with him on college breaks, always traveling back to his hometown for his younger brother's birthday, no matter what else was going on.
I will agree with PP that for a while my H struggled with some poor choices BIL was making as a young man. H thought that he could share his experiences with BIL so he didn't make the same mistakes. But sometimes people have to go through their own stuff in order to learn...my H realized that and my BIL got himself together and everything is fine now.
Another positive was that as a kid, my H took care of his baby brother...changing diapers, giving bottles, etc. So when we had a baby, my H had more experience doing baby things than I (an only child) did!
I will agree with PP that for a while my H struggled with some poor choices BIL was making as a young man. H thought that he could share his experiences with BIL so he didn't make the same mistakes. But sometimes people have to go through their own stuff in order to learn...my H realized that and my BIL got himself together and everything is fine now.
Another positive was that as a kid, my H took care of his baby brother...changing diapers, giving bottles, etc. So when we had a baby, my H had more experience doing baby things than I (an only child) did!
Anonymous
07/19/2019 12:14
Subject: Re:Families with big gaps in the middle
I have four kids. These are not their current ages, but here's the spread: 16, 13, 4, 1.
Yes, I didn't want the 4 yr old to be the lonely baby. But I wouldn't have had a fourth just for that reason.
Even though there are four kids, because it's such a big spread, their lives are so different that there's always been plenty of time for each when they need it.
Yes, I didn't want the 4 yr old to be the lonely baby. But I wouldn't have had a fourth just for that reason.
Even though there are four kids, because it's such a big spread, their lives are so different that there's always been plenty of time for each when they need it.