Anonymous
07/16/2019 07:03
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
I don't see why he shouldn't reach out to the other spouse just to confirm with her that the affair is over. This isn't revenge.
OP, don't be so hasty in going to marriage therapy, take care of YOU first. Make sure you eat, drink, and get you time. Don't beg your wife to do anything. Don't smother her with love. It won't work. It is annoying. It will only drive your wife away.
If your wife has had an affair for a couple of years she has some work to do on herself.
Reminder, you are hurting (so is she). But don't try to fix everything at once. You can't. This is a long, slow process.
OP, don't be so hasty in going to marriage therapy, take care of YOU first. Make sure you eat, drink, and get you time. Don't beg your wife to do anything. Don't smother her with love. It won't work. It is annoying. It will only drive your wife away.
If your wife has had an affair for a couple of years she has some work to do on herself.
Reminder, you are hurting (so is she). But don't try to fix everything at once. You can't. This is a long, slow process.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 06:35
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
It’s an unpopular opinion here, but yes, I would reach out to the other spouse. I’d want to know so I could make an informed decision about my marriage.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 06:32
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is the affair still ongoing?
She says she ended it the next day. Another reason I am considering reaching out the affair partner.
He will only back her up. Trust me, the second she knew you knew she covered her ass and told him the story she was going with. He’s got his own ass to cover so he’s invested in not blowing up her shit. Now, you COULD call and heavily imply to him you’ll be contacting his wife just to freak him out but DONT ACTUALLY CONTACT HER. Let him live with the fear and anxiety that each time she calls this is the call where she’s found out and his world is going to implode. He will be a wreck.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 06:29
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
Anonymous wrote:OP here
I get that it may seem spiteful to tell the offending partners spouse about the affair, but I keep coming back to putting myself in the position if I were the unaware spouse, I would want to know.
But consider the possibility the wife DOES know. Maybe she found out much sooner and they’re working through it. You coming in brings it all up again. Maybe it was a hall pass situation. Some people have a DADT policy and she doesn’t want to know. You simply can’t invest your precious mental and emotional energy in someone else’s marriage when yours and yourself require all you’ve got. Really, it’s for your own good: focus on your own house. Step one if you plan to stay is her finding a new job without her affair partner working there.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 05:58
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
OP, I think you should contact the other spouse. As someone who suspects my spouse is hiding something, it has been really hard to live with uncertainty. Starts to make you feel crazy when you suspect something but can't prove it.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 05:57
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
OP, I think you should contact the other spouse. As someone who suspects my spouse is hiding something, it has been really hard to live with uncertainty. Starts to make you feel crazy when you suspect something but can't prove it.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 02:08
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
Anonymous wrote:I hope it works out for you and your children.
Thank you. It is a long and uncertain road ahead.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 02:07
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
Anonymous wrote:Is the affair still ongoing?
She says she ended it the next day. Another reason I am considering reaching out the affair partner.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 02:01
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
Is the affair still ongoing?
Anonymous
07/16/2019 01:47
Subject: Re:Wife had Affair with Coworker
It would be one thing to put up with a one time affair but long term would be a totally different story for me. I’d divorce and never look back.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 00:53
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
I hope it works out for you and your children.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 00:49
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
Your wife needs to commit to finding another job ASAP. I might even ask her to quit today.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 00:09
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
Anonymous wrote:8-12Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:. She has agreed to come to therapy with me which is a huge positive. We have our first session next week.Anonymous wrote:Get a good marriage counselor who can help keep your family together.
Yay! About how old are your children?
Ok, good age to see how marriage IS hard, but you keep working on it. Hopefully, your wife will see the light. Your children desperately need two functioning parents under one roof. I know this.
Anonymous
07/16/2019 00:07
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
I was a good husband. I am not even considering custody at this point. I would like to work on saving the marriage first.Anonymous wrote:Ask yourself how good of a husband and Dad you were? If fabulous then you have the upper hand. How much custody to protect your children from their corrupt wife are you seeking?
Anonymous
07/16/2019 00:05
Subject: Wife had Affair with Coworker
8-12Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:. She has agreed to come to therapy with me which is a huge positive. We have our first session next week.Anonymous wrote:Get a good marriage counselor who can help keep your family together.
Yay! About how old are your children?