Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's time to sit down with her and have a one on one, heart to heart chat. She may be legitimately confused about what you are doing for a living. It might help her to understand that you pay taxes, save for retirement and that your company is growing more and more profitable each year.

Online businesses are so much more abstract than a physical office building or store would be. Maybe she would better understand the comparison to Facebook or Amazon...whatever example would work best.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did she work? Is she unimpressed by your self-employment (I’m impressed, btw!) or does she really not understand that you make money?

She was a working professional. She is unimpressed by self-employment. She views a 'real job' as something someone else gives you, that requires you to be at a desk 9-5pm. I don't know what she thinks about the money aspect.

As for those who commented on the kids, she is very kind to my kids. Her relationship with them has a totally different dynamic. However, I feel diminished in front of them when she talks like this. Even if I didn't run a business, as a mother I would always have 'job', so the whole thing is just rude and pointless to me and cuts me down in front of the kids.

My MIL is the same way. She worked in a store, and I"m a college professor. I frequently work from home. I also spent much of my twenties in grad school and didn't get my professor position until I was in my 30s. She tells people that my SIL is very important because she goes to an office and has been working since she graduated from high school. Me? Not so much. She assumes that my DH and I have lots of free time to rake her leaves, etc. because we don't have jobs. LOL!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just grow up. "Mom, I work and you telling people I don't is insulting to me."
She is clearly a bully and you are scared of her. Grow a spine. She is also passive aggressive because you let her walk all over you.

+100

You're being a doormat to avoid conflict.
Your children won't respect you for not standing up for yourself & they certainly will question if you're capable of standing up for them if the need would arise (school bully, etc).

My grandmother/mother dynamic was the same exact way & because my grandmother was so great to us grandkids, I lost even more respect for my mom because she wouldn't stand up for herself to her sweet, innocent mother (so we all thought).

She used to tell me "when someone is yelling, it makes no sense to yell back because they can't hear you over themselves" & she was absolutely right & it would pacify the situation.

But man, just once I wanted her to say something back. As I got older, I would have her back & my grandmother would IMMEDIATELY back down & apologize... which would make me upset even more that my mom wasn't capable of standing up for herself after I showed her how easy it was.

Now I know better of course, but I am telling you now, your kids will not respect you if you don't stand up for yourself.
I've seen it one too many times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did she work? Is she unimpressed by your self-employment (I’m impressed, btw!) or does she really not understand that you make money?

She was a working professional. She is unimpressed by self-employment. She views a 'real job' as something someone else gives you, that requires you to be at a desk 9-5pm. I don't know what she thinks about the money aspect.

As for those who commented on the kids, she is very kind to my kids. Her relationship with them has a totally different dynamic. However, I feel diminished in front of them when she talks like this. Even if I didn't run a business, as a mother I would always have 'job', so the whole thing is just rude and pointless to me and cuts me down in front of the kids.

Anonymous wrote:Just grow up. "Mom, I work and you telling people I don't is insulting to me."
She is clearly a bully and you are scared of her. Grow a spine. She is also passive aggressive because you let her walk all over you.

Anonymous wrote:I kind of get it, OP. My mom thinks I'm a secretary instead of my relatively high level corporate position.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did she work? Is she unimpressed by your self-employment (I’m impressed, btw!) or does she really not understand that you make money?

She was a working professional. She is unimpressed by self-employment. She views a 'real job' as something someone else gives you, that requires you to be at a desk 9-5pm. I don't know what she thinks about the money aspect.

As for those who commented on the kids, she is very kind to my kids. Her relationship with them has a totally different dynamic. However, I feel diminished in front of them when she talks like this. Even if I didn't run a business, as a mother I would always have 'job', so the whole thing is just rude and pointless to me and cuts me down in front of the kids.