Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective, having one of each was appealing. I'm glad I have a DD and I'm glad my DH has a DS. I like having both to parent.

BUT when I look at it from my kid's perspectives, I am sometimes sad my DD won't have a sister like I do. Women hold families together in different ways than men do. Obviously I'm less sad my DS won't have a brother, since that's not a relationship I have.

But no matter what someone is missing something. It's best to enjoy what you've got and do your best without worrying about things that are outside of your control.

WOW

Not the PP but what's wrong with that? There are pros and cons to all the different combinations of genders and one of the unique aspects of a boy-girl family is that each parent gets to have a relationship with a same-gender child. There are things you can share with a same-gender child that you just don't with an opposite-gender. It's the same as people saying they like that their kids in a boy-only or girl-only family get that same-gender sibling relationship.

I had twin boys and then had a girl. It started when I was pregnant “I hope it’s a girl.” And now it’s “you finally got your girl” etc etc. people are weird.

This question is simply impossible to answer. Since you will never know any different than what your family situation is (at least without bias - I’m not talking about situations where you lose a child or something like that), you will never have an unbiased “true” answer. There are pros/cons of every situation. Same with the age-old question of age spacing.

Enjoy your family!

I have two boys. Before the first, I wanted a girl. Once I had one boy, I only wanted another boy.

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective, having one of each was appealing. I'm glad I have a DD and I'm glad my DH has a DS. I like having both to parent.

BUT when I look at it from my kid's perspectives, I am sometimes sad my DD won't have a sister like I do. Women hold families together in different ways than men do. Obviously I'm less sad my DS won't have a brother, since that's not a relationship I have.

But no matter what someone is missing something. It's best to enjoy what you've got and do your best without worrying about things that are outside of your control.

WOW

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love having one of each. They are best friends, and the experience of raising a boy and a girl is cool.

how old are they? IMO it's pretty rare for a boy and a girl sibling to be 'best friends' as they get older.

It is also rare for same-sex siblings to be best friends. Even my friends who are close to their siblings, would not consider them best friends.

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective, having one of each was appealing. I'm glad I have a DD and I'm glad my DH has a DS. I like having both to parent.

BUT when I look at it from my kid's perspectives, I am sometimes sad my DD won't have a sister like I do. Women hold families together in different ways than men do. Obviously I'm less sad my DS won't have a brother, since that's not a relationship I have.

But no matter what someone is missing something. It's best to enjoy what you've got and do your best without worrying about things that are outside of your control.

+1 My DD for a while had an imaginary friend that she called her "invisible sister". I'd have liked her to have a real sister and DS to have a brother but I also like the experience of having one of each. So, since 4 kids with 2 boys/2 girls wasn't going to work for us, we'll just enjoy having one of each.

The pluses of having one of each are that, in theory, each parent has a same-sex child to share experiences with and as a parent you get to experience both "boy stuff" and "girl stuff". OTOH, that assumes that you have stereotypical gender kids. There were no dance recitals or other typical little girl things in our life because DD hated that stuff but she does love camping, hiking, bugs, and reptiles.

I do enjoy having had the experience of raising both sons and a daughter and I do think there have been differences. To me, it's been especially eye opening raising sons since I grew up in a home of girls.

But I agree with the posters who said you get what you get, and appreciate what you have.

I would have loved to watch my daughter grow up with a sister, because I grew up with that. I think the bond between sisters is unique and valuable. I'm sure that would have been a wonderful parenting experience. But no use dwelling on it. It didn't happen for me.

We didn't find out gender when pregnant, and all I ever wished for were healthy babies. I have one of each. They get along great. When they were younger, they fought like cats and dogs. Now teens, and while they don't hang out together, they are best buddies. On vacation they do hang out together, but when home, they hang out with their own friends. At the family dinner table though, it is clear they are friends.

I grew up with a sister, and to this day we do not get along. We're two and a half years apart. My husband grew up with a sister and a brother. While he's in touch with both of them, I wouldn't call him friends, or even friendly with either.

Anonymous wrote:If you have only girls or only boys or one of each...as their parent is there really a difference in love or experience? Are we really missing out without one of each gender? Solve this once and for all for me. I am really happy with 2 from the same gender and never have thought otherwise. Why do other people think otherwise and finally is there really something to be missed?

Np. You can say this about any decision. Single life vs married. City living vs country living. Lawyer or spy.

Just enjoy the kids and family you have. Assume most talk is just idle chit chat.

Anonymous wrote:I know three people who started out with two girls and by the end of MS, each were parenting one girl and one boy.

???

No, actually, they were parenting a very confused kid.

Anonymous wrote:You get what you get. My son and daughter play together beautifully. I too my dd shopping this weekend which was so fun. My son would have been bored to tears. I love having one of each.

+1000

Why people spend time pondering this issue is beyond me.

OP, would you be better off if you lived in Denver or Boston? Who knows? Does it matter?

Part of being a sane, rational adult is learning to accept what you cannot change and being happy with it. Second guessing is pointless and probably detrimental to your long term happiness.

Anonymous wrote:You cant have every experience. There are differences between girl-girl, boy-boy, and girl-boy and all of the variations in between, but the actual personalities of every family member makes more of a difference. Everyone in the family will have a different experience - even when they are all together.

This. Everyone is "missing out" on something if that's how you frame things. Or you could just frame it is every family is different, and no configuration is better or worse than another, just different. And personalities matter a ton--a family with two girls might have a completely different experience than the family next door that also has two girls, because the parents and the girls are all different people and so the dynamics in each family are completely different.

Anonymous wrote:Love having one of each. They are best friends, and the experience of raising a boy and a girl is cool.

how old are they? IMO it's pretty rare for a boy and a girl sibling to be 'best friends' as they get older.

I know three people who started out with two girls and by the end of MS, each were parenting one girl and one boy.