My experience was 3-4 years are high anxiety due to just enough future awareness but not enough to get that a few nights will be over soon. 0-2 is a hard age on you as parent to leave, but they probably won’t notice as much. 5-6 has been somewhat easier since you can send texts to them and stuff, which they enjoy.

+1 trusted loved childcare providers

I travel for work but also had a “fluke” year where it was significantly less than usual. DD is 3.5. She is hyper aware that I’m gone. I am not single mom but DH has crazy work hours so isn’t so flexible with picking up when I’m gone.

We started using one of her daycare teachers regularly. She’s a mom with teens. She does all the extra childcare when I’m away. She always does something “special” so DD looks forward to it and distracts from me being gone. Like going out for ice cream, or special trip to library in PJs.

It’s not ideal to leave but finding someone like this is a huge help. Consistency also.

Honestly, affordable and childcare are not words that go together. You have to do what you have to do...

op, is flying your mom or dad in to stay with your child an option?

I would start using your child's beloved childcare teachers as babysitters, and then hopefully one of them would be able to stay and take care of your child if you have to go out of town for work.

I know several families who have done this and our kids' favorite babysitter is one of their old preschool teachers.

OP can you take your child and a family member with you? I travel for work and now that my twins are hitting 4, I might have my dh and a family member come with me. I know other families who do the same.

Anonymous wrote:

+1 I don't travel much, only 2-3 trips per year and my teens hate it. They think I travel SO MUCH. Although maybe if I traveled more they'd get used to it and it wouldn't be as big of a disruption.

This is my experience, too. My teen finds my very limited travel to be a huge pain. I think partly because I don’t do it often enough to have a routine for it. And it causes me a lot of stress which rubs off on him. I would suggest establishing a standard routine with a sitter coming to your house to keep as much of DC’s life as stable as possible when you are away.

Translation: how soon can I stop feeling guilty for being gone so much? OP, it never ends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t have an AFFORDABLE childcare option. Don’t care whether it’s adorable.

If you have an ex, he can take care of her. If not, you should have thought of this before having a kid by yourself.

Oh, get bent.

OP, I have been in your shoes. What I would suggest is that if you don't have affordable child care at home anyway, you consider whether taking your child with you may be a viable option. Depending on where you go and how much notice you have that you'll be traveling, there are sometimes as good or better drop-in options elsewhere; this area is notably short of them.

And while the plane ticket is a cost, if your schedule permits you can avoid paying for 24/7 child care on the other end. Much easier not to be separated from the kid for a week at a time, too.

It’s much tougher for a single mom. When my kids were young my husband and I were very good at coordinating our business travel but even then there were times when the children were upset. Once they reached 8-10 it wasn’t a problem. This was well before Facetime which is a godsend.

Thanks for asking, OP, as I’ve been wondering this too. I took a 2 week trip when my twins were 2.5. It was really hard on them. I’d like to go back to taking 2-3 2-week trips a year to advance my career, but at the moment it just seems impossible.

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is 11. It’s still hard on her, though she doesn’t cry when I leave. I guess when they leave for college. Colleagues with kids say it doesn’t get easier just the type of what you worry about changes as they get older.

+1 I don't travel much, only 2-3 trips per year and my teens hate it. They think I travel SO MUCH. Although maybe if I traveled more they'd get used to it and it wouldn't be as big of a disruption.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t have an AFFORDABLE childcare option. Don’t care whether it’s adorable.

If you have an ex, he can take care of her. If not, you should have thought of this before having a kid by yourself.

That's right, PP, there are only two possibilities and exactly those two. There's either a capable, loving ex still in the picture who is willing to pitch in, or OP was mindlessly selfish and too dumb to think through the consequences. (I guess she was supposed to see a tarot card reader to find out whether her child would be easy or hard with bedtimes/attachment/time away from parent.)

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I don’t have an AFFORDABLE childcare option. Don’t care whether it’s adorable.

If you have an ex, he can take care of her. If not, you should have thought of this before having a kid by yourself.