Well OP, now you know where they stand with their sons. Full stop.

Maybe it’s the “help the needy” mentality maybe it’s not.

Sorry. Hope they are indeed set for their retirements, glad your husband is having that conversation with them.

@OP, the parents of your DH owed him nothing. It is their money and they can do whatever they want. My parents gave me an education and donated $3M to the Americans Red Cross when my father passed away. They left $3M in a trust for my younger brother who is less fortunate than I am and I am perfectly fine with it. You and your DH have no rights for their assets and you should treat it as such. If they decide to give you and your DH something, be grateful. If not, deal with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About ten years ago my in-laws started buying rental properties with their home equity line. It would get self funded with renters, pay down the loan and they’d do it again. They’d also fix up and maintain the properties, file all the rental income taxes, keep things to code, etc. Single and jobless BIL, 40yo, lives near them and has no job so he liked to find the renters and call himself a property manager (with his dad and mom of course).

As my husband was having one of those Retirement Funds conversations with them it turns out they put BIL’s name only on each of the $1M properties! Yet MIL manages the finances of them but perhaps all three of them have anytime access to the rental income. BIl takes month long vacations whenever he wants.

So are these cash cow properties their retirement income or a gift to jobless BIL or inheritance early for him? Will we get an equivalent thing or is this just their socialist thing to do for little brother?

Moreover, what happens if the in laws need money for something medical or live in home support? Will we have to go through BIL or what is going on here? They also have company stock, a DB pension plan plus SS.

You, OP, will not get anything. Your husband, not you, would be the heir in this situation.

Oh please. her husband was cut out of a few $1 million each properties plus all the rental income they produce. Forever.

I am curious what OP's DH thinks about this?

Oh please indeed.

My DH's family's money is not my money. It is their money. If they pass away and leave money to DH, then it is his money.

That's how it works.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is socialist about this whole situation?

Not a damn thing. The parents are distributing their private property as they see fit. "Socialist" has come to mean "something I don't like" to a lot of people. Honestly, OP thinking that she is somehow entitled to a certain amount of money that she didn't earn seems closer to socialism than anything the parents are doing.

Most parents in America - baring a disabled or handicapped adult child - do not buy or fund rental properties for one kid and not the other.
They split everything equally by number of children and then some equally to grandchildren.

A sure fire way to show favoritism or punish the other is to gift property, money, family jewels, etc to only select offspring and not all. Or not wait until death for equal distribution.

BIL has been working with/for them, while OP's husband has not. The idea that OP, as a DIL, was already counting her husband's money while they're still alive is gross enough, but to completely write off the work BIL did as "has no job so he liked to find the renters and call himself a property manager" when she doesn't know how much work he's done is laughable. She considers his work for his parents to be a joke, but somehow her complete lack of input deserves a 50% stake in these properties?

OP you've created a problem by having [rude, unrealistic] expectations. If you want rental properties you should follow your IL's example and buy and manage some. Maybe some magical hobo will show up and run them for you for free like you thought BIL was doing for your husband's parents!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is socialist about this whole situation?

Not a damn thing. The parents are distributing their private property as they see fit. "Socialist" has come to mean "something I don't like" to a lot of people. Honestly, OP thinking that she is somehow entitled to a certain amount of money that she didn't earn seems closer to socialism than anything the parents are doing.

Most parents in America - baring a disabled or handicapped adult child - do not buy or fund rental properties for one kid and not the other.
They split everything equally by number of children and then some equally to grandchildren.

A sure fire way to show favoritism or punish the other is to gift property, money, family jewels, etc to only select offspring and not all. Or not wait until death for equal distribution.

Too bad Op.

bIl got a few million dollars of properties and they provide $100000s of annual income to him and him only. The gift that keeps giving. No wonder he doesn’t get a job.

Lucky him. And at least now you don’t have to fiscally take care of them or him as they age.

Agree, this is their legacy and inheritance. To the delinquent BIL. Your husband won’t have the balls to ask why.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry Op, I think you guys are screwed out of these assets and their big piggy bank.

It would take a very mature and fair set of elderly parents to true you up for what BIL received here.

Have you asked why the deeds are only to the brother and not them or you too or the grandchildren or a trust?

Just have your spouse ask them why they did that. Then shut up and listen.

+1

+2 Instead of working yourself into a froth about the unfairness of it all, have him ask them, and not argue, just listen. You can't know what they were thinking without asking them what they were thinking.

Maybe this is the parents' way of ensuring that their son, whose limitations they recognize, provided for. It's clear that OP doesn't like the brother and will paint him in the worst light, but he lives near them, helps out with the properties, and perhaps provides company. It's their money, not OP's husband's, and they get to do what they want with it. Counting your chickens before they hatch is never a good idea. If there is some other reason that the husband thinks this is a bad idea, he can talk to his parents about that.

Anonymous wrote:What is socialist about this whole situation?

Not a damn thing. The parents are distributing their private property as they see fit. "Socialist" has come to mean "something I don't like" to a lot of people. Honestly, OP thinking that she is somehow entitled to a certain amount of money that she didn't earn seems closer to socialism than anything the parents are doing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About ten years ago my in-laws started buying rental properties with their home equity line. It would get self funded with renters, pay down the loan and they’d do it again. They’d also fix up and maintain the properties, file all the rental income taxes, keep things to code, etc. Single and jobless BIL, 40yo, lives near them and has no job so he liked to find the renters and call himself a property manager (with his dad and mom of course).

As my husband was having one of those Retirement Funds conversations with them it turns out they put BIL’s name only on each of the $1M properties! Yet MIL manages the finances of them but perhaps all three of them have anytime access to the rental income. BIl takes month long vacations whenever he wants.

So are these cash cow properties their retirement income or a gift to jobless BIL or inheritance early for him? Will we get an equivalent thing or is this just their socialist thing to do for little brother?

Moreover, what happens if the in laws need money for something medical or live in home support? Will we have to go through BIL or what is going on here? They also have company stock, a DB pension plan plus SS.

How much equity is in them in total? They cannot be paid off yet. How many houses?

This is a pretty common flywheel to get going: Downpayment 1 gets paid off with cash flow; Rental income goes towards Downpayment 2, which gets paid off in 2-3 years; Rental income 1+2 goes towards Downpayment 3, etc.
Could be apartments which are quite lucrative as well if you know where to buy and what to pay.

But back to original topic: WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR TWO KIDS? Only put one on the various deeds and access to the rental income.
Or would you put in your own name, the parents or a trust I guess, and split things equally later when needed.

No, I would not though will qualify in a moment. My parents grew up in two radically different circumstances. My aunt was older than my dad and their middle sister by ten years. She never forgave them for being born. She held it against them till her last breath. She divested their mother of all her money and ensured that she got the largest parcel of land in the homestead. She sold their mother's house and kept all the money to cover the "expenses" she paid for their mother. Yes, she did live with my aunt and uncle for a few years before she entered a nursing home, but my parents and aunt did their share. OTOH, while my mother's family may have been pathologically equal to a fault, we as her children learned how to divide equally amongst us. The lawyer who handled my maternal grandparents' estate said that he never had a family (six children, 30 grandchildren, 15 great grands, etc) where everyone strove to do right by each other.

My two sibs and I did an exemplary job in handling our parents' estate - lots of communication is key. Alas, I've heard my SIL more than once ask my FIL to leave her the money and the property (a house and half of a vacation property) to DH/her brother as he is "just better at that kind of stuff," i.e., "just give me the cash."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About ten years ago my in-laws started buying rental properties with their home equity line. It would get self funded with renters, pay down the loan and they’d do it again. They’d also fix up and maintain the properties, file all the rental income taxes, keep things to code, etc. Single and jobless BIL, 40yo, lives near them and has no job so he liked to find the renters and call himself a property manager (with his dad and mom of course).

As my husband was having one of those Retirement Funds conversations with them it turns out they put BIL’s name only on each of the $1M properties! Yet MIL manages the finances of them but perhaps all three of them have anytime access to the rental income. BIl takes month long vacations whenever he wants.

So are these cash cow properties their retirement income or a gift to jobless BIL or inheritance early for him? Will we get an equivalent thing or is this just their socialist thing to do for little brother?

Moreover, what happens if the in laws need money for something medical or live in home support? Will we have to go through BIL or what is going on here? They also have company stock, a DB pension plan plus SS.

How much equity is in them in total? They cannot be paid off yet. How many houses?

This is a pretty common flywheel to get going: Downpayment 1 gets paid off with cash flow; Rental income goes towards Downpayment 2, which gets paid off in 2-3 years; Rental income 1+2 goes towards Downpayment 3, etc.
Could be apartments which are quite lucrative as well if you know where to buy and what to pay.

But back to original topic: WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR TWO KIDS? Only put one on the various deeds and access to the rental income.
Or would you put in your own name, the parents or a trust I guess, and split things equally later when needed.

Anonymous wrote:About ten years ago my in-laws started buying rental properties with their home equity line. It would get self funded with renters, pay down the loan and they’d do it again. They’d also fix up and maintain the properties, file all the rental income taxes, keep things to code, etc. Single and jobless BIL, 40yo, lives near them and has no job so he liked to find the renters and call himself a property manager (with his dad and mom of course).

As my husband was having one of those Retirement Funds conversations with them it turns out they put BIL’s name only on each of the $1M properties! Yet MIL manages the finances of them but perhaps all three of them have anytime access to the rental income. BIl takes month long vacations whenever he wants.

So are these cash cow properties their retirement income or a gift to jobless BIL or inheritance early for him? Will we get an equivalent thing or is this just their socialist thing to do for little brother?

Moreover, what happens if the in laws need money for something medical or live in home support? Will we have to go through BIL or what is going on here? They also have company stock, a DB pension plan plus SS.

How much work has he done "finding renters" and as "property manager" has he actually done the bulk of the work? Maybe this unemployed BIL has actually been working his ass off taking care of all the properties, to the point where your IL's see him as an equal partner. You specifically mention that BIL "lives near them" which makes me think that you and your Dh do not; so maybe you don't see how much work he is putting in.

Anonymous wrote:About ten years ago my in-laws started buying rental properties with their home equity line. It would get self funded with renters, pay down the loan and they’d do it again. They’d also fix up and maintain the properties, file all the rental income taxes, keep things to code, etc. Single and jobless BIL, 40yo, lives near them and has no job so he liked to find the renters and call himself a property manager (with his dad and mom of course).

As my husband was having one of those Retirement Funds conversations with them it turns out they put BIL’s name only on each of the $1M properties! Yet MIL manages the finances of them but perhaps all three of them have anytime access to the rental income. BIl takes month long vacations whenever he wants.

So are these cash cow properties their retirement income or a gift to jobless BIL or inheritance early for him? Will we get an equivalent thing or is this just their socialist thing to do for little brother?

Moreover, what happens if the in laws need money for something medical or live in home support? Will we have to go through BIL or what is going on here? They also have company stock, a DB pension plan plus SS.

How much equity is in them in total? They cannot be paid off yet. How many houses?

Anonymous wrote:Sorry Op, I think you guys are screwed out of these assets and their big piggy bank.

It would take a very mature and fair set of elderly parents to true you up for what BIL received here.

Have you asked why the deeds are only to the brother and not them or you too or the grandchildren or a trust?

+1.

Unemployed, single 40 yo? Definitely should have gone into a trust with guidelines on when to sell if ever, and how much rental income can be withdrawn per year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:About ten years ago my in-laws started buying rental properties with their home equity line. It would get self funded with renters, pay down the loan and they’d do it again. They’d also fix up and maintain the properties, file all the rental income taxes, keep things to code, etc. Single and jobless BIL, 40yo, lives near them and has no job so he liked to find the renters and call himself a property manager (with his dad and mom of course).

As my husband was having one of those Retirement Funds conversations with them it turns out they put BIL’s name only on each of the $1M properties! Yet MIL manages the finances of them but perhaps all three of them have anytime access to the rental income. BIl takes month long vacations whenever he wants.

So are these cash cow properties their retirement income or a gift to jobless BIL or inheritance early for him? Will we get an equivalent thing or is this just their socialist thing to do for little brother?

Moreover, what happens if the in laws need money for something medical or live in home support? Will we have to go through BIL or what is going on here? They also have company stock, a DB pension plan plus SS.

You, OP, will not get anything. Your husband, not you, would be the heir in this situation.

Oh please. her husband was cut out of a few $1 million each properties plus all the rental income they produce. Forever.

I am curious what OP's DH thinks about this?